@callmelolita by @lelaradulovicphotography

The Secret Life of a Happy-ending Masseur and the Women Who Swear by Him

Let’s call him Ray. Of course, that’s not his real name because his line of work is illegal in the United States. And we’re not trying to get the GOAT of female pleasure locked up. Ray is famous amongst his clientele. Which mostly consists of females looking for a massage and an orgasm. His journey from parking attendant to stripper to business owner is fascinating.  You need to know about this world.

How 5 Minutes of Your Time Can Protect Your House 24/7

[Partner]  SimpliSafe, one of leading companies in home security, just dropped a new outdoor security camera. It offers a two-way audio system, built-in spotlight, and a 140-degree field of view. Plus, you get 24/7 monitoring and dispatch services with their interactive monitoring plan. The setup takes just 5 minutes because it’s wireless. You just screw in the mount. And boom. You’re secure. If that isn’t SimpliSafe, we don’t know what is. Whether you’re upgrading your current system, or a first-time home securer, we’ve got you covered.  Our readers get 30% off your entire system.

13 Inventors Killed by Their Own Inventions

If you didn’t chuckle after reading that headline, restart your day and then come back to this. Is it tragic? Yes. Is it also kinda funny? Of course it is. Look, if we somehow die in an elevator accident, we give permission to chuckle at the undeniable irony.  The guy who invented the lighthouse straight-up vanished.

Why This Guy Quit Wall Street to Wash Cars

What’re they calling it again? The Great Resignation? Basically, everyone’s quitting their jobs right now. But this guy did it before it was cool. And now he has millions of YouTube subscribers and his own line of high-end detailing products. So if you’re thinking about jumping ship from a six-figure salary, you might want to take a page from this guy’s book.  Or whatever the metaphoric equivalent would be for “taking a frame from his YouTube videos.”

In Defense of “Achy Breaky Heart”

The most popular and most confusing country song of the ‘90s? "Achy Breaky Heart". Without a doubt. It would be quite easy for us to poke fun at the song. Almost too easy. Which is why this article that defends the tune is all the more impressive. Getting the public on the side of this song is like an art form.  And these gentlemen have done it masterfully. Respect.

The Mixer

The wildlife photographers of the year. Where American men landed on the latest life expectancy rankings. The 1,000+ mysterious radio signals detected in space. Three red flags that actually prove you’re more successful than you think. The fastest car in the world. Six ways to use a cast iron skillet. This Grey Poupon Mustard wine. These Halloween hoagie bites you should make.

/GTFO

@monkeys_climb_mountains | Iceland

ELEVATOR is like when someone pays for your morning coffee. It’s a dose of goodness in your inbox. Do us a favor and spread that goodness to your friends. Forward this to a friend or ask them to sign up at gettheelevator.com

Send us a tip    |    Editorial Policy   |    Advertise