Girls' Night In - how to set better boundaries 💭

On bringing a partner into your routine, as Deana asked: If your partner’s less routine-oriented, it’s okay to not change your own routine just because there’s a new person in the mix.

• Instead of bringing them into every step of your existing routine, Nedra suggests continuing your personal rituals (they're important!), while adding some less-structured collective time to the mix. 

• Low-key-not-super-routine-y ideas: A nightly reflective conversation (maybe aided by some reflection cards that several GNI team members love?), reading together-but-separately, or even sharing a pot of sleepy tea.

• Jordan recommends building alone time into your schedule, and being specific and honest with yourself and your partner about how much time you need every day, each week, and so on.

• If you live together, having physical space can be helpful. If you can’t kick them out of the house (which Jordan says is a fine request to make to prioritize your alone time!), maybe you “do your own thing side-by-side or in different rooms.”

• And that alone time shouldn’t just be for the personal admin and work tasks you mentioned. “Make a list of random, silly, relaxing, pleasurable activities you can experiment with when you have time to yourself. Watch your show. Paint your nails. Do nothing,” suggests Jordan.

As a final note: give yourself some space. Jordan reminds us, “You are negotiating your own need for rest not just with your partner but also against the extraordinary demands of daily life in a world with several ongoing crises, not to mention the relentless messages of grind culture to do more or be productive. It makes sense that you go for what’s easy and what feels good in the few precious hours you allow yourself to unwind. I’m glad to hear that being with your partner does feel good.”