In the doge-eat-doge world of meme coins, there’s a new alpha.

Thanks to a parabolic rally over the past few weeks, shiba inu coin has leapfrogged dogecoin to become the ninth-most valuable crypto in the world. It’s gained nearly 1,000% in the last month and soared more than 900,000,000% in the past year.

The origin story: While it comes from the same litter, shiba inu wants you to know it’s definitely not like dogecoin. Founded in 2020 as an “experiment in decentralized spontaneous community building,” it’s actually been promoted as the “dogecoin killer.”

• Shiba inu has some semblance of a community. It’s sold NFTs (called “shiboshis”), and Ethereum creator Vitalik Buterin sent 50 trillion of the coins to aid Covid relief in India earlier this year.

This all may seem ridiculous—and it certainly is—but for some companies, meme coins are serious business.

Companies like Robinhood

On Tuesday, the investing platform reported quarterly revenue that came in wayyy below estimates due primarily to a slowdown in crypto trading—an activity that has played an increasingly outsized role in the company’s sales.

• Crypto accounted for more than 50% of Robinhood’s transaction-based revenue in Q2, and dogecoin made up 62% of all crypto revenue.

But as dogecoin was put on a leash last quarter (it’s down 67% from its peak in May), Robinhood’s crypto revenue followed suit—plunging 78%.

Will Robinhood embrace dogecoin’s better-trained sibling? Not imminently. While CEO Vlad Tenev acknowledged that “our customers want new coins,” he said “we’re going to be very careful” about adding new tokens given heightened scrutiny from regulators. The company offers seven coins for trading, compared to Coinbase’s 50+.

Bottom line: Robinhood wants to be deliberate, but investors are getting antsy. The company’s stock fell 10% yesterday to close below its IPO price.

PS: Is this the best individual trade of all time?—NF

Cigarette sales rose last year for the first time in two decades, according to the Federal Trade Commission. 8 million more cigarettes were sold in 2020 compared to 2019, a 0.4% bump.

Smoking rates have steadily fallen since 2000, which experts attribute to tobacco taxes, antismoking legislation, and programs that help users quit. But none of those were a match for the stress, anxiety, and boredom of the pandemic’s first calendar year.

Plus, as Marlboro owner Altria noted early last year, users had more disposable income available—from not commuting or having a social life outside of Discord—and were using it to make bulk “pantry-loading” purchases.

• Sales of smokeless tobacco and alcohol also increased last year, showing that all the vices were more popular in 2020.

Looking ahead...like dalgona coffee, cigarettes’ comeback could just be a pandemic blip. In the four weeks leading up to Oct. 9, cigarette sales were down 9.4% relative to the same period last year, according to Nielsen.—JW

Rent the Runway, the clothing service that lets you rent outfits from designer brands, went public yesterday. Despite the fact that its entire business model hinges on the worst part of online shopping—returning everything—it nabbed a valuation of more than $1.7 billion.

RTR’s stock closed 8% lower on the day, and it’s not entirely surprising that its public markets debut was wobbly: The company reported $85 million in net losses on $80 million in revenue in the six months ended July 31.

• Growth was a challenge during the pandemic, as lockdowns kept everyone in their PJs. From 2019 to 2020, RTR's active subscribers fell hard from 133,000 to roughly 55,000 (but that's rebounded to 112,000 as of September.)

Bottom line: Rent the Runway is a leader in a $40 billion used-clothes industry that's growing more than 15% each year. But while the service might be a smart option for those looking to bypass spending $250 on an Anthro cocktail dress for a wedding they don’t even want to go to, RTR still has lots to prove.—MM

Stat: Despite having the highest poverty rates in the country, Louisiana and Mississippi also have the lowest rates of homelessness. It shows that the “primary factor” contributing to homelessness is housing costs, according to Aaron Carr, the executive director of the nonprofit Housing Rights Initiative.

Quote: “I don’t know if it’s quite a Sputnik moment, but I think it’s very close to that.”

General Mark Milley, the chairman of the US Joint Chiefs of Staff, said in a Bloomberg interview that China’s launch of an advanced hypersonic weapon this summer was a very significant technological event that “has all of our attention.”

Read: Are we on the verge of chatting with whales? Thanks to AI, maybe. (Hakai Magazine)

Are you smarter than a second grader? A&W found out in the ’80s that most folks weren’t, when it launched a 1/3-pound burger to one-up McDonald’s Quarter Pounder at the same price point. What happened? People didn’t realize 1/3 > 1/4, and the burger didn’t sell well enough to stay on the menu.

40 years later, the fast-food chain is fixing one of the most famous marketing goofs of all time with the debut of a “3/9 Burger,” betting that bigger numbers will lead to better sales and won’t invite the wrath of math teachers everywhere.

Why now? Liz Bazner, A&W’s director of marketing, explained that the 1/3 Burger has been haunting the brand for years, a ghost story that gets retold on social media every few months. Most recently, a “biggest marketing fails” Instagram video about A&W’s darkest chapter went viral.

Bottom line: All press is good press and, in this case, A&W is getting a social media boost from this juicy story.—JW

When it became clear that the pandemic would be ruining Halloween 2020, he arrived to save us with his sparkling blue eyes and bare femurs. Home Depot’s 12-foot-tall skeleton, known to friends as Skelly, went viral last year and sold out before October even started. This year, Skelly’s back...well, not really—he sold out again.

We talked to Lance Allen, the decorative holiday merchant director for Home Depot, aka Skelly’s dad, about the big bone man’s journey from a whiteboard in a conference room to the ultimate Twitter himbo.

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Some good TV clips: People looking not very smart Part 1 and Part 2.

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Brew Mini: Round out this dog-themed newsletter by playing today's Mini, called "Canine Command." Solve it here.

Three headlines and a lie

Three of these news headlines are real and one is faker than anyone who said Dune was boring. Can you guess the odd one out?

1. Hiker lost for 24 hours ignored calls from rescuers because of unknown number
2. A man spent most of his Covid business loan on one item, prosecutors say: A $57,789 Pokémon card
3. Sweetgreen will launch a new podcast it describes as “recipe blog meets TMZ”
4. Kellogg's customer files $5 million lawsuit alleging Pop-Tarts don't have enough strawberries

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