Belladonnaoflavender - Girl interrupted
Not to feel exasperated or defeated or despondent because your days aren't packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human—however imperfectly—and fully embrace the pursuit you've embarked on — V. 9, trans. Gregory Hays Hi, new people & old- young and the bold, It has been a long hot minute. I was doing so many things but I did not feel like sharing much of my really busy October, November, and the more relaxed end of December. I am back and I promise to present to you, more of me and my recommendations which I am sure many of you look forward to. I hope you had nice End-year revelations and some exciting news to hem. I read less than I do usually these months and hardly reviewed the books I read, I felt excited and then out of energy for a long time coming. My trip to Kodaikanal was eye-opening and a reckoning. Then the mountains of the North greeted my melancholic state of mind when I saw most of my friends getting married away (most did not even tell me) and my circle of friends has further suffered due to my state of being. In Delhi, I feel claustrophobic now. It is like the end of the world. I don’t like the city anymore or maybe the city does not want me to like it. My usual routine after coming to Delhi ( I have hardly been in Delhi in Winters and I always wanted to attest to the banality of coldness to not hate the heat and the sun so much) has been this:
I started writing precisely because I know there is a way out through my writing. I won’t be read by my father, mother, or brother but some strangers will know me- If I keep at it. As the saying goes, he is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the memory, and so recur habitually to the mind. And also there is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday so we start, every day. This Newsletter is in a way very personal because someone like you, who only knows me virtually, I can only reveal the most outrageous or salient things and get judged but the people who really know me, don’t read these letters- and there’s solace in knowing that different people know different parts of me- each upholding the other. I look at people around me and I feel secure that I am not like them. I feel requited when I am not. I can not socialize much these days. I look at the ceiling more often. Not the fan, that’s a change of circumstances which I call the overturn of staring at fan syndrome- that you miss the fan on purpose, you don’t oblige to its animate presence and look away, at nothingness- or abyss. In some Bella’s way of end seasons greetings, I have a couple of lists which I will share over a series of end seasonal greetings Let’s start with books- BOOKS NO ONE READS WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND
TEN INTERESTING THINGS OUT THERE
In your actions, don't procrastinate. In your conversations, don't confuse. In your thoughts, don't wander. In your soul, don't be passive or aggressive. In your life, don't be all about business. Shame on the soul, to falter on the road of life while the body still perseveres— VI. 29, Maxwell Staniforth Wrote this Newsletter listening to Ayayay on loop
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Older messages
“Oh Death, Where is the Antidote to Thy Sting”
Thursday, October 28, 2021
Masterchef, travel tonnes & links as always
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