Not to feel exasperated or defeated or despondent because your days aren't packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human—however imperfectly—and fully embrace the pursuit you've embarked on — V. 9, trans. Gregory Hays

Hi, new people & old- young and the bold,

It has been a long hot minute. I was doing so many things but I did not feel like sharing much of my really busy October, November, and the more relaxed end of December. I am back and I promise to present to you, more of me and my recommendations which I am sure many of you look forward to.

I hope you had nice End-year revelations and some exciting news to hem. I read less than I do usually these months and hardly reviewed the books I read, I felt excited and then out of energy for a long time coming. My trip to Kodaikanal was eye-opening and a reckoning. Then the mountains of the North greeted my melancholic state of mind when I saw most of my friends getting married away (most did not even tell me) and my circle of friends has further suffered due to my state of being. In Delhi, I feel claustrophobic now. It is like the end of the world. I don’t like the city anymore or maybe the city does not want me to like it.

My usual routine after coming to Delhi ( I have hardly been in Delhi in Winters and I always wanted to attest to the banality of coldness to not hate the heat and the sun so much) has been this:

--5 hours of cinema/TV/Documentaries on cold cases

-- 5 hours of imperative reading

- - Sleep has been prioritized and health, not so much- vices flowing

-- I have been also been cooking a lot, drinking an absurd amount of coffee and tea as if winter is a good excuse as any and I am sure I am leaving drinking comletely( I abstain from hard alcohol since 5 years now and my socially rare bottle of wine is also not sitting well with me)

- - writing and revisioning that writing

I started writing precisely because I know there is a way out through my writing. I won’t be read by my father, mother, or brother but some strangers will know me- If I keep at it. As the saying goes, he is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the memory, and so recur habitually to the mind. And also there is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday so we start, every day.

This Newsletter is in a way very personal because someone like you, who only knows me virtually, I can only reveal the most outrageous or salient things and get judged but the people who really know me, don’t read these letters- and there’s solace in knowing that different people know different parts of me- each upholding the other. I look at people around me and I feel secure that I am not like them. I feel requited when I am not.

I can not socialize much these days. I look at the ceiling more often. Not the fan, that’s a change of circumstances which I call the overturn of staring at fan syndrome- that you miss the fan on purpose, you don’t oblige to its animate presence and look away, at nothingness- or abyss.

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In some Bella’s way of end seasons greetings, I have a couple of lists which I will share over a series of end seasonal greetings

Let’s start with books-

BOOKS NO ONE READS WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND

1. Winter in the Blood by James Welch

2. Liturgical Perspectives: Prayer and Poetry in Light of the Dead Sea Scrolls

3. Newton's Philosophy of Nature: Selections from His Writings

4. Unschooled: Raising Curious, Well-Educated Children Outside the Conventional Classroom

5. Oculus: Poems by Mao, Sally Wen

6. Meditations: A New Translation by Marcus Aurelius, Gregory Hays

7. Pearls of Wisdom: A Harvest of Quotations from All Ages by Jerome Angel and Walter D. Glanze

8. Everyday Ayurveda by Dr. Bhaswati Bhattacharya

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TEN INTERESTING THINGS OUT THERE

1. "Aurat" by Kaifi Azmi

2. Sexy Back x Milkshake x Satisfaction x Destination Calabria

3. Pakistani Reacts to Roommate - Stand Up Comedy Ft. Anubhav Singh Bassi

4. Aazadi ke Matwalon Ka Dekha Jab Se Tola

5. Subic Bay’s Sex Bars

6. The Impossible Disappearance Of Dorothy Arnold

7. There's Something About Casey...

8. Searching For Jenna Van Gelderen (Missing Persons Series)

9. Foreigners Try Indian SNACKS for The First Time

10. Just put an egg in a tomato and you will be amazed!

    No bonus this time around because more LISTS are out in the next Newsletter which will be as comprehensive with TV and Movie recs in abundance so do not forget to check that out.

In your actions, don't procrastinate. In your conversations, don't confuse. In your thoughts, don't wander. In your soul, don't be passive or aggressive. In your life, don't be all about business.

Shame on the soul, to falter on the road of life while the body still perseveres— VI. 29, Maxwell Staniforth

Wrote this Newsletter listening to Ayayay on loop

This is a free newsletter but not cheap. If you love it, consider supporting it by liking and sharing this newsletter. This letter is reader-supported, hence the lack of ads and sponsors. I don’t get much feedback on my newsletters, so I’m not sure how many people actually read them. If you do, please feel free to drop me a note or hit the “heart” on the newsletter

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