⭐️ Quotes
“When one door closes another door opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.“
— Alexander Graham Bell
If an opportunity has passed you by, it doesn't do you any good to be sad about it.
To keep your life moving forward, you have to look for new opportunities. Your next one could be just around the corner; keep your eyes open so you can grab it.
“My father gave me the best advice of my life. He said: ‘Whatever you do, don’t wake up at 65 years old and think about what you should have done with your life.‘“
— George Clooney
To make sure you live your life without regrets, ask yourself the following question: "Will I regret doing or not doing this when I look back on it many years later, when I’m old?"
It puts you in the right frame of mind for understanding the long-term importance of every action you take or don't take. It's very similar to Jeff Bezos's Regret Minimization Framework.
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📜 Articles
Big Skills
A simple but great article about how small skills combined together are powerful.
People usually think that it's the big skills that make someone successful: superior physical ability, high-levels of intelligence, or some kind of hard-to-acquire edge. But in reality, success often comes from a combination of small, simple skills executed with consistency over a long period of time.
The article then gives a big list of such skills. My favourites are:
- A well-calibrated sense of your future regret -- Projecting your regret for a decision into the future (like the George Clooney quote above) helps you make decisions with a long-term mindset
- Low susceptibility to FOMO -- Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) causes people to make rash decisions as they jump to follow the crowd. When you have low susceptibility to FOMO, you think clearly and make decisions based on your own rationale
- Thinking in probabilities vs. certainties -- Not everything in life is black and white. You need to keep in mind the probabilities of things and essentially make bets based on that information. If something doesn't work out, judge it based on both the results and the process you used to get those results
- Getting along with people you disagree with -- In our heavliy connected, high-social world, it's critical to get along well with others. You can help each other learn, unlock new opportunities, see things from different points of view, and accomplish things that you otherwise would not have been able to on your own
What If We Just Stopped Being So Available?
We live in a time where fast communication has become the norm; 40 years ago there were no smartphones. Nowadays, if you don't respond to someone's text within a few hours or worse if you leave them on read, it's considered blasphemy. If it's someone from work, they think you're not taking your job seriously. If it's a friend or loved one, they think you don't care about them. There are serious consequences to not responding within a socially acceptable period of time.
But these are all psychological expectations. There's no real time limit. We've survived as a species for tens of thousands of years without communicating so quickly. As such, it's not so crazy to consider these cultural norms as inhumane. There have been recent changes to make things better; France for example has a law for the right to disconnect.
At the end of the day, what we really need is a cultural change. We should start with ourselves by making it the norm among friends and colleagues to not apologise for delays, normalize non-speedy responses, and get to a place where we don't have all of these unhealthy expectations.
📚 Books
Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds
This was the first memoir I've ever read. I never thought I'd like the memoir style but this one made an incredibly strong impression on me.
Can't Hurt Me tells the story of David Goggins. His life story started from the very bottom: a physically abusive father, failing school, life-threatening racism, and lots of self-doubt. After finishing high school he was overweight, working as an exterminator clearing out cockroaches from fast-food restaurants.
Then, one day, he saw a commercial on TV about the Navy SEALs. He decided that day that that's what he would become. His life would totally turn around from then on:
- He lost 106 pounds in 3 months to qualify for Navy SEAL training
- He went through the brutal BUD/S (Navy SEAL training) training 3 times, passing on the third attempt while running on broken feet and shins (he held them together with duct tape)
- He ran a 100 mile race with 3 days notice to raise money for a military charity, yet never having run such a marathon
- He broke the world record for pull ups in 24 hours after 3 attempts, getting 4030 in 17 hours
Can't Hurt Me is the story of a man who changed his life by changing his mindset. Goggins's core message throughout the book is that your mind is the most powerful tool you have to succeed. In particular, I loved these concepts from the book:
- Your story -- When you have a big goal, it can be discouraging to think about how far away you are from it. But you can change your mindset to this: every disadvantage and failure you have makes your story better. When you succeed, you'll be able to say "I started from the lowest of lows and failed 1000 times, but I had the strength to keep going." That sounds way better than "I started with a million dollars and great genetics"
- The 40% Rule -- Goggins has a rule that when your mind is telling you to give up, you're only actually at about 40% of your full potential. It's not based on science, but it's certainly a motivating concept. We often give up way too early when we are fully capable of doing that extra 5 reps, 5 miles, or 50 minutes of work. Push harder
- Building a callused mind -- When you do weightlifting your hands develop calluses, essentially extra skin to protect your hands from tearing. Your body is building up physical protection as a reaction to pain. You should do the same thing with your mind. Regularly schedule experiences of discomfort into your life and push through them: extra work, challenging workouts, developing news skills, or anything else that you find requires a mental push. Your mind will create "mental calluses" that make you mentally stronger, helping you to power through any challenges or hardships
- Tell yourself the truth -- If you're overweight, say "I am overweight". If you're performing poorly at your job, say "I am performing poorly". If you've made a mistake, say "I made a mistake". Be honest with yourself because it's the only way you'll ever have the resolve to change your life for the better
P.S. This book has inspired me to run a marathon once things open up here in Toronto. I've never run one before, but I will push through it!
🎥 Videos
The Psychological Reason Journaling Makes You Better
Journaling is super beneficial for both relaxation and self-improvement. In this video, Ryan Holiday and Shane Parish discuss the benefits of journaling from a psychological perspective.
- "Journaling is the conversation we have with ourselves about who we want to be and how far away we are from that at any given moment." -- Journaling gives you the opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and see if they're leading you in the right direction
- "It's about the codification of what we've learned" -- As you go through life you will learn many lessons and gain many experiences. To make sure that those lessons stick, write them down in a journal to put them into a concrete, easily remembered form
- "Paper is more patient than people" -- Journaling is a way of venting out your emotions. If you're angry, anxious, or feeling on edge, you can let those emotions out onto the paper rather than on people you care about. Then you can have more positive interactions with people
Grit: the power of passion and perseverance: TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth
This video is a TED talk by Angela Lee Duckworth, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania.
Duckworth's research looked at the indicators for what makes a person successful not just in one domain, but in any: sports, law, business, finance, teaching, games and many other areas. People used to think that it's all about something they're born with: IQ, good looks, social skills, and physical health.
But Duckworth's research shows that those things only get your foot in the door, they are short-term advantages. In the long term, success was most accurately predicted by one key characteristic: grit.
As Duckworth defines it:
"Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint."
Success often takes a really long time. You have to make a lot of attempts, try many different things, and get a little bit lucky. So things like IQ, good looks, and social skills don't last.
Grit on the other hand keeps you in the game for a very long time. It enables you to try lots of things, gain experiences, learn, and grow into a successful person. It pushes you to adapt to the environment, to stay deliberate, and to put the required energy into the work to become successful.
🖼️ Beautiful Picture
The cool arctic blue
