Miriam Reads Tarot - The Story Of Risa Green
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From Pixabay: johnhain Trigger warning: Mentions of bullying and scapegoating at home Before getting into the nitty-gritty of the cards' meanings, let's talk about an individual I will refer to each time I point out an example. Here is a story about a woman named Risa Green, who is in her mid-40s, and she suffers from major depressive disorder and complex PTSD, which bring her a lot of anxiety and severe low self-esteem. Risa never left her hometown because she felt too guilty to leave her family. She also never had any real aspirations. However, she did get married and had one son with moderate autism. She also has caregiving duties for her parents. When she is not caring for her son or her parents, she works at a low-paying job as a clerk at a furniture store. Risa has worked there for years. She also has a non-verbal learning disability which caused her not to read social cues properly, struggle with social skills, and have problems with motor and visual-spatial skills. She struggled with a lot of that when she was younger, but it improved as Risa got older. But that did not help her choose to do something meaningful with her life. Her self-esteem is extremely low for that to happen. To make things worse, Risa has the polycystic ovarian syndrome, also known as PCOS, the main reason for her weight and acne struggles. She used food as a coping mechanism behind her weight struggles to make things worse. It is like one thing feeding another, so to speak. Now that you have the general introduction of Risa, let's talk more about what contributed to her trauma and why she has such low self-esteem with mental illnesses. The Story Of Risa GreenRisa Green was born in Manhattan, New York, to semi-wealthy Jewish parents, as she was the first one. However, her father, who used to be a business lawyer, got an opportunity to work in Syracuse, and when Risa was a toddler, her family moved there. The birth happened not long after moving there, Risa's sister, Tamara. Over the years, it was apparent that the parents favored Tamara over Risa. Her mother especially was incredibly hard on Risa, and Risa was becoming overweight as a child, whereas Tamara was always slender. Her mother constantly criticized Risa's weight and monitored everything she ate. She also called her "stupid" numerous times because she struggled to follow instructions and struggled in school. She also earned the name "stupid klutz" because Risa kept falling. Her mother told Risa to be more like her sister and encouraged Tamara to bully Risa to make matters worse. When Risa was hitting puberty, her weight ballooned, resulting in acne. Both the mother and sister called Risa a slob, and the father was never around since he worked all of the time. To make matters worse, Risa had to move to a new school because her school at the time did not include junior high. However, her classmates ignored her, but what she faced throughout junior high and the early part of high school was worse. Risa endured horrid bullying at home and at school, where she was called horrific names and experienced trash being thrown at her. All Risa did was dissociate because that was the only way she could cope. Risa endured bullying at home and then at school, where she was not treated well. Eventually, the tormenting ended, but the mocking did not. Risa struggled with severe depression, and her mother told her to get over it. Risa tried but couldn't. All she did was cope by eating and dissociating. Risa never had friends, and she went to a community college to take basic business courses. Her sister, Tamara, followed in her father's footsteps, went to law school in Seattle, Washington, and became a business lawyer. Tamara settled there. It was no surprise that Risa stayed in Syracuse. However, she did meet her first boyfriend, Ron, who, like her, had no self-esteem. Another thing in college that happened was that based on Risa's apparent low moods, one of the counselors encouraged her to see a psychiatrist. She did, and after an assessment, she was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and was put on antidepressants. However, Risa did not continue taking them. She did not think she needed it. Risa was also embarrassed as she did not want Ron or her parents to know. So one day, Risa tossed the rest of her antidepressants in the trash for that reason. Ron and Risa got married. Risa got a low-paying job as a clerk at a furniture store, and Ron worked as a bank teller. Neither made a significant income. They wanted to have kids but faced that one child was all they would have. After being married for several years, Risa and Ron had a son named Justin, who was not developing typically and was diagnosed with autism as a toddler. Unfortunately, neither of them could afford a lot of therapy for Justin, and he only used a handful of words, was never potty trained, and put the parents under a lot of strain at home. To make matters worse, Risa's mother continued to be a nightmare for her. She not only blamed Risa and Ron for Justin's lack of proper development but compared him to Risa's niece and nephews, who do not have special needs. In addition, she told her that Tamara was a more competent mother than her and made it clear once again that Risa was a complete embarrassment to her mother. As Justin was growing, he was still very much like a kindergartener as the most he could do was stay on his tablet. Ron was offered a better-paying position at the bank, but he had to decline because he had to be home to help Risa as Justin was becoming more challenging to handle. Ron and Risa knew that Justin would be in their care for life, and then Risa's parents were becoming frailer as they were aging. So even though Risa had her hands full with Justin, she was desperate to get love from her parents, and she committed herself to caring for them. But unfortunately, even though Risa has been their parents' caregiver, they still did not treat her better. Risa had no choice but to start seeing a therapist again because of having to fight so many demons. She was referred to a psychiatrist who said she had signs of not only depression but CPTSD. Is it a surprise after what she has endured in her life? Let's now go over something that has not been mentioned in detail. How Risa really feels and how she struggles with her mental illnesses. Risa's Struggle With Mental IllnessesAs you know, Risa has CPTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. In addition, you know that she dissociated a lot during her youth when bullied at school and home. Risa was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when she was in college. Then after struggling with her autistic son and with her parents, she was also diagnosed with CPSTD. Risa is insanely jealous of her sister, peers, and others who appear to have it easier than her. All she thinks about is how she keeps ending up with the short end of the stick. That makes her so jealous and resentful. You’re a free subscriber to Miriam Reads Tarot . For the full experience, become a paid subscriber. |
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