There’s a certain segment of the population that seems to be wildly entertained by cursing. Specifically, the word fuck…

• “Go the F**k to Sleep.” The bestselling "children's book for adults.” 

• “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.” A go-to McSweeney’s piece. 

• “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.” Mark Manson’s self-help guide.

• F*ck That: An Honest Meditation. Self-help book/video that guides you to “breathe in strength, and breathe out bullshit.”

• ”Nobody Gives a F*ck About Your Feelings, Bro.” Gary Vaynerchuk does his thing.

How I feel about all this fuckery: It’s lame AF.

Btw, I considered using the redacted version (i.e. f*ck) here, but not because I’m some cursing teetotaler. It’s just that SPAM filters love to run wild on anything that seems NSFW so that felt like the path of least riskistance. But somehow typing out “f*ck” or “f**k” feels even dirtier, like I’m making you consistently solve a word puzzle where the answer is %$&*@! So let’s just go for it. Plus, maybe it’ll actually help?

Noah Kalina @noahkalina

I thought my newsletter today would go straight to spam for most people because I wrote the word "Porn" multiple times but it turns out it was my most "read" ever with 66.5% opens.

December 13th 2021

11 Likes

The kind of people who enjoy curse words
If you think gratuitous cursing is funny, I’m going to assume some things about you. Basically, it makes me think you’re either a child, think like a child, are surrounded by children, exist in a Human Resources-induced nanny-state-of-mind, watch too much Disney, are a Jesus freak, work in academia or some other pretentious field, and/or belong to a country club (or swim in some other pool of property-owning propriety). Bummer about your cloistered life, but thinking curse words make something funny is like believing wearing a fedora gives you a personality.

🅼🅰🆃🆃 💎 🆁🆄🅱🆈 @mattruby

Too many men mistake wearing a hat for having a personality.

January 22nd 2012

30 Retweets26 Likes

For the rest of us, it’s straight up corny. It’s faux-naughtiness that elicits titters for the same reason typing 80083 in a calculator so it read “boobs” made my second grade classmates guffaw. You’re violating norms, I guess, but what you’re really revealing is an infantile view of boundaries. Spend a day with a construction worker and you’ll quickly realize it ain’t all that edgy or clever to drop an f-bomb.

Cheat code
Comedians know the reality of cursing: It’s a cheat code. Much of the time, it’s a way to get laughs when you can’t otherwise.

So do I curse onstage when I’m performing standup? Yes, but only if it’s 100% essential to a bit.

Alright, that’s not exactly true. I also use it when I’m flailing; when a joke isn’t working, when I’m trying something new, or when I’m doing crowdwork and it ain’t going well. Often it’s not even a conscious choice – my brain knows I’m grasping so it winds up throwing out “shits” for giggles. Curse words may work as verbal life preservers, but eventually you have to sink or swim on your own.

Here’s a good way to know if a bit is really funny: Take out any curses and see if it still works. If not, the joke isn’t what’s getting laughs, the cursing is – and that’s just playground shtick. 

That’s why clean comics like Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan get so much respect from their peers. We know how hard it is to get laughs while staying family-friendly. It’s not that these guys are squeaky clean squares; rather, they’re masters of their craft making a conscious choice to perform comedy at its most challenging level. 

If you want proof that cursing is the easy way out, look at all the opportunities available to comics who don’t do it. Stay “TV clean” and you’re way more likely to get corporate gigs, play all-ages rooms, and open up for the Pope. SiriusXM has different comedy channels and the clean channel is so desperate for content that it frequently plays 100% clean albums in their entirety multiple times in a month. Meanwhile, Raw Dog (which features blue jokes) enjoys a surplus of content. And there’s a reason it’s called “TV clean”: If you want to do a network/late night set, cursing is off the table (though admittedly, things have loosened up in that realm lately).

Let ideas do the work
I get it, cursing delivers a veneer of coolness in a 70’s leather jacket kinda way. But the more you know about comedy, the more it feels like the lazy and easy choice, a la talking about sex, jerking off, drugs, farting, bathroom humor, body parts, etc. Those topics/words are usually just a lowest common denominator to squeeze laughs out of mediocre ideas.

I know, because I’ve told jokes about all these topics. (OK, not farts. I draw the line at farts.) Some of these bits I stand behind – cliché subjects can still be interesting if you take a unique approach. But I’ve told other blue bits simply because I’m desperate/need the material. At least I’m honest with myself about it though. I wonder if all these other fuck-ers look in the mirror this way.

When cursing works
Now, I’m not saying everyone has to work clean or even that you’re a lesser comic if you curse. Plenty of classic bits (examples: Burr, CK, Carlin, etc.) involve words you’re not allowed to say on Disney+.

But pay attention to those jokes and you’ll realize the ideas are doing the work as opposed to the naughty words themselves. That’s the difference between Samuel L. Jackson screaming about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane (yawn) in a piece of trash like Snakes on a Plane as opposed to his rampant, elegant cursing (poetic) in a great film like Pulp Fiction.

Are there other times when cursing works? Sure, if it’s the way you really talk. How much do you curse in your real-life conversations with friends? If it’s a lot, that’s a pretty compelling case for cursing in your work too; after all, then you’re just being authentic, right? But if not and you’re merely turning up the dial for effect, you’re using naughty words as a crutch.

Comedian Doug Stanhope, a filthy comic who’s one of the all-time greats, on cursing onstage:

“That’s just how I talk,” he explains. “A Mexican accent isn’t necessary either, but if you have one, you’ll look fake and stupid trying to hide it. And there’s nothing more embarrassing than someone who doesn’t use profanity, trying to jam it into their set like that will help them. Just as awkward.”

The accent/cursing comparison makes sense. The real key is to not sound like a phony. When a British person sounds British, it's fine. When Madonna sounds British, it's like wait a minute, aren't you from Michigan?

(Note: This might let Gary Vee off the hook, since he said this when asked about his cursing: “It’s how I talk.” “Do you curse at home?” "Yes.” “In front of your kids?” “Yes.")

Cursing isn’t the only cheat code comics use either. In a recent interview, Roy Wood Jr. explained his philosophy on callbacks (i.e. repeating a punchline from a joke later on in your set): If the callback is the only part of the joke that gets a laugh, then he pulls the joke. It’s not a worthwhile joke if the cleverness of the callback is the only reason it’s hitting. That’s more of a magic trick than a solid joke. If your ideas are naked without curses/callbacks, they weren’t good enough in the first place. 

Jerry Seinfeld is famously known for his distaste of working blue. "I don't like all the cursing in comedy," he said once. "It makes it too easy for the comedians. I think we should work harder. [Not swearing] can help your material." He talked to Marc Maron about it on WTF too:

“Even then [cursing] bothered me because I felt like oh, I just got a laugh because I said f*ck in there,” Seinfeld told Maron. “That’s the only reason they laughed at that. It’s just you didn’t find the gold.” Seinfeld held himself to PG-rated language, because if he could get the laugh without profanity, then he knew it was really funny. “Then it became a style that I liked because it was so much more difficult,” Seinfeld said.

You’re cursing because you didn’t find the gold. Sure, you may get over via cursing, but there’s a good chance you’re on your way to being another word that ends with -ck: hack.

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Standup

Did some fun shows in Colorado this weekend and was interviewed by the Steamboat Pilot – check out this headline: “Matt Ruby wants to get away with anything.” 😈

“I really just wanted to tell the truth and I realized that funny people seem to get away with doing that more than anyone else…I love when someone can get up there and say stuff that no one else could get away with. In our society, you have to watch what you say everywhere you go. Everyone is concerned about saying the wrong thing, and stand-up comedy is unique from that – it’s the one forum where you can say whatever you want and get away with it.”

Upcoming standup dates
3/18 Hartford, CT | City Steam Brewery
3/19 Hartford, CT | City Steam Brewery
3/25 New Brunswick, NJ | Stress Factory *
3/26 New Brunswick, NJ | Stress Factory *
3/29 Cary, NC | The Matthews House
3/30 Durham, NC | The Fruit
3/31 Raleigh, NC | Clouds Brewing Taproom
4/1 Asheville, NC | Getaway River Bar

* Featuring for Alingon Mitra

And here’s an animated clip of a joke from my Hot Flashes album:

mattrubycomedy

A post shared by Matt Ruby (@mattrubycomedy)

Quickies

🟥 Idea: The Purge, but for tweets in your drafts folder. Just one day a year where we all let it rip and no one gets cancelled.

🟥 Important social media lesson: Just because people you hate think what you said is dumb, it doesn't mean you're smart.

🟥 Was in Boulder yesterday. Two old Jews just sat next to me at a coffee shop and began talking about their pre-colonoscopy routines. I've never felt more at home.

🟥 When it comes to scapegoats, us Jews are the GOAT.

🅼🅰🆃🆃 💎 🆁🆄🅱🆈 @mattruby

There are some careers where you don't want any slashes. This is fine: Comedian/Writer/Actor. But ya never wanna get your teeth fixed by a Dentist/DJ/model.

March 6th 2022

8 Likes

🟥 When do weed dealers get an apology for how we treated 'em? We made 'em criminals when they were just pharmaceutical sales reps. "Slinging dime bags on the corner"? Nah, more like "prescribing pain relief to the mid-Atlantic region."

🟥 I get why women are sick of guys telling them to watch The Wire because of all the dorky dudes who have tried to get me to read Dune.

🟥 This quote (above) is so weird. Netflix isn’t a person with likes and dislikes. It’s a corporation. You know what Netflix actually loves? Maximizing revenues for shareholders. For the love of god, please don’t personify corporations like you’re the marketing version of Mitt Romney.

🟥 So odd how every couple presents online as if they're doing amazing even though 50% wind up divorced. It's like we're all participating in some relationship cosplay convention called RomantiCon.

But wait, there’s more! Up ahead: Dog whistles, the Denver airport, the secret to parenting, a hilarious rant on the "Don't Say Gay" bill, social media lies about traffic, more on Zelenskyy, flip phones, TikTok/China, and more...