Crooked Media - What A Day: All Elon the botch-tower

 -Elon Musk, very convincing genius

The looming, likely demise of Roe v. Wade has enticed Republicans across the country, at all levels of government, to let their social-issues freak-flag fly, and the vision they have for America is as horrifying as you’d expect—maybe worse.

• In a virtual address to the George Mason University School of Law, Justice Samuel Alito voiced his disgust with the Supreme Court’s 6-3 ruling in Bostock v. Clayton County which extended the the Civil Rights Act’s protections against discrimination on the basis of sex to LGBT people. Alito called that opinion—written by Justice Niel Gorsuch and joined by Chief Justice John Roberts and the Court’s four liberals at the time—”indefensible.” Even with the confirmation of Justice Amy Coney Barrett, there’d presumably only be four votes to overturn Bostock, but if Republicans are able to tighten their grip on the Court this decade, Alito gave us a big honking clue about whose rights he’s gunning for next. 
   
• Just two days earlier, Republicans in Louisiana went to extraordinary lengths to revive their own Don’t Say Gay bill. In light of the backlash to Florida’s Don’t Say Gay law, Louisiana lawmakers killed their farther-reaching version of the same legislation at the committee level. But on Tuesday, Republicans in the Louisiana House broke out a rarely used procedural tool to force a vote on it, and voted 55-39 to bring it back from the dead. 
   
• This one-line story from the Associated Press underscores just how medieval Republicans have become, by setting the bar for what counts as moderation from them these days: “Louisiana women who have abortions won’t face possible murder charge after state House amends bill.” That’s it, that’s the tweet/story.

The shrinking of the “charge women who have abortions with murder” caucus coincides with the emergence of a new “starve babies” caucus. 

• By way of no-background: American parents have been struggling for weeks with a nationwide baby formula shortage. The shortage stems from an enormous February recall of tainted formula by Abbott Nutrition, one of the two major U.S. formula manufacturers, and the ensuing closure of the plant responsible for the contamination. It has been exacerbated further by existing supply-chain kinks. On Thursday, the White House unveiled a plan to ease the shortage, which may include invoking the Defense Production Act to require manufacturers to increase domestic output. 
   
• The Republican plan for the shortage, by contrast, is to take formula away from migrant babies in U.S. custody. “While mothers and fathers stare at empty grocery store shelves…the Biden Administration is happy to provide baby formula to illegal immigrants coming across our southern border,” Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) said Thursday. The “starve babies in U.S. custody” caucus has since grown to include “Ultra MAGA” Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-NY). 

U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin spoke to his Russian counterpart, Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu, for the first time Friday since Russia invaded Ukraine. Austin initiated the call, for the purposes of urging Shoigu to implement “an immediate ceasefire.” Despite fielding a request that the Russian government would officially dismiss as a non-starter, the conversation lasted a full hour, and reflects a change from Russia’s previous posture of refusing such calls altogether. The thaw in relations may also reflect implicit Russian acknowledgment that its invasion is headed toward failure. Russia suffered a significant, embarrassing defeat in the Donbas on Friday, when Ukrainian forces destroyed a Russian pontoon bridge while Russian forces and artillery were attempting to cross it. On Monday, President Biden signaled a pivot of his own, toward trying to find an offramp for Russian President Vladimir Putin, so he doesn’t continue the war simply because “he doesn’t have a way out.”

• After wrecking the place, Elon Musk is now trying to worm his way out of his binding offer to buy Twitter, on the flimsiest of pretexts, sending Twitter shares plunging.   
   
• The U.S. intelligence community will review its processes for assessing foreign military might, after it overestimated the durability of the Afghan military, and underestimated the durability of the Ukrainian military. Only the State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research dissented from the I.C.’s assessment that Ukraine would collapse within two weeks. 
   
• Israeli police attacked the pallbearers and others mourners attending journalist Shireen Abu Akleh's funeral. "We were deeply troubled by the images of Israeli police intruding into the funeral procession of Palestinian American Shireen Abu Akleh," said Secretary of State Antony Blinken. "Every family deserves to lay their loved ones to rest in a dignified and unimpeded manner."
   
• The Texas Supreme Court has reinstated enforcement of a government edict allowing protective-services investigators to treat families seeking gender-affirming care for their children as suspected child abusers—except in the case of the family that challenged the law in the first place. However the court also held that the policy is advisory, not binding on the Department of Family and Protective Services. 
   
• In other right wing Texan judges, the Fifth Circuit Court of Federal Appeals has reinstated a Texas law designed to flood large social-media companies with lawsuits if they moderate propaganda, because moderating propaganda disproportionately affects movement conservatives who spread lies for political gain.
   
• House and Senate progressives have introduced judicial anti-corruption legislation to tighten recusal rules, impose a code of conduct on the Supreme Court, and ban justices from owning and trading individual stocks.
   
• Norm Macdonald filmed a secret stand-up comedy special before he died. It will debut on Netflix on May 30. 
   
• A slight 69 percent of voters (nice) think Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) should resign.

It’s been over 24 hours since the House January 6 Committee issued subpoenas to five Trump-loyalist House Republicans, including House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, and the most interesting thing about it is that those Republicans didn’t announce their intent to flout their subpoenas out of hand. That suggests they’re on the horns of the most Republican possible dilemma: If they defy their subpoenas or challenge them in court, they can expect Democrats to do the same thing, if and when the GOP takes over the House and launches all the sham investigations its members have openly fantasized about. On the other hand, if they honor their subpoenas, they might have to tell the truth about their involvement in the insurrection and/or their knowledge of Donald Trump’s conduct while the Capitol was under siege. A real Fascists Triangle, as they (ok, I) like to say.

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China’s Mars rover has found evidence that water existed on the planet for much longer than scientists previously believed. 

Jelani Cobb will be the next dean of Columbia Journalism School.

Scientists have grown plants in moon soil. 

A lost Very Good Girl sneaked into a strange house, and then into bed with the sleeping couple who live there, and she fit in so well, they didn’t even realize it wasn’t their dog until the morning; many friends were made in the course of returning her to her true home.