admiring this charming and homey living room by @heathertaylorhome

Good morning ,

There's a good chunk of new readers here—welcome to the cozy party that is this newsletter. Please always feel free to hit "reply" with what you'd like to read in here, or anything at all.

We've got a few fun things for you in today's issue: writer and Internet-fave Haley Nahman is here to share some solid life recommendations (one of which involves a shoelace!), and we've got a few ideas for anytime-gifts. Plus: the usual round of interesting and fun reads.

Happy summer and have a great weekend. 🌞

—Alisha Ramos (@alisharamos), founder at GNI

This Week's Recommendations

Welcome to 3 Good Things, a new series where people we like recommend things they think are worth trying.

Haley Nahman is a culture writer and editor based in Brooklyn. You might know her as the former features director of cult media site Man Repeller or through her newsletter, Maybe Baby (one of the top culture newsletters on Substack). Haley's work has also appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, and The Guardian. Enjoy her recs, below.

1) The you-cook-I-clean lifestyle.

Recently my boyfriend and I transitioned away from our formal lifestyle (everyone-helps-cook-everyone-helps-clean) to a hard split between who cooks and who cleans, and I’m transformed. First of all, it’s heaven to cook alone. I want my boyfriend, whom I love very much, in a different time zone when I’m making dinner: not questioning how I sliced the squash, or second-guessing whether the heat should really be on high, or asking whether I think that’s definitely enough salt. Equally, it’s heaven to be cooked for—to lounge on the couch with a book, the smell of onions and garlic beckoning me to the table like a cartoon finger, no guilt provoking me to get up and ask how I can be of assistance, which often leads me to ask the same pestering questions I myself resent. This way I can relax because I know I will repay him by cleaning, and he gets to relax when he’s done. It’s the perfect crime. On special occasions we still like to cook together, and obviously we regularly clean the house together, but mostly dinner chores are kept separate, and now, miraculously, I no longer dread them.

2) The inside drawstring.

About a month ago I bought a pair of pants from a brand called Roucha, called Diana Denim in Washed Black (later, in Ecru). When I got them, my first thought was, oh no, they don’t fit. But actually, they did. I just needed a revolution of perspective, which arrived by way of the inside drawstring: Running along the underside of the waistband of the pants was a black shoelace. When I tightened it around my waist, where I wanted the pants to sit, suddenly the jeans hung off my body in a way pants never had before. They were big and baggy and comfortable, but also streamlined and held up just so. I was enchanted and still am. Unlike a belt, an inside drawstring holds the garment on from the inside. It doesn’t disrupt the silhouette or bunch up the fabric. And you can add it to almost any pants you want! You just snip a hole on either side of the button closure and snake a shoelace around to the other side. I did it to a pair of Dickies this morning that I’m wearing right now. (Here's a random YouTube tutorial I found.)

3) Telling secrets

I’m a big proponent of telling secrets to my friends. There is very little I wouldn’t fess up to if asked, and most of it I offer unsolicited. This is especially true with my closest friends, but I’m not against doing it with relative strangers. I once got coffee with a woman who asked to meet because she was a fan of my work, and when I arrived I confessed I was having doubts about everything I’d ever done. I was in a weird and dark place that day, and my disclosure took us to a new level of intimacy almost instantly. She told me about her deepest fears and doubts in return, and suddenly we were talking like old friends (and now we are). Of course, there’s a time and place for that kind of thing. To constantly over-share and expect the same sounds annoying (and I’ve definitely done that to ill effect). But when someone is secretive, as a rule, about their inner life—their insecurities, the problems in their relationship, the things that keep them up at 2 a.m.—I’m not offended persay, just kind of turned off. To me, connection is almost always worth the loss of privacy.

You can follow Haley @halemur on Instagram or Twitter.

This Week's Reads

1. Many Ice Creams, but One Cone to Rule Them All (The New York Times)
2. How Do I Tell My Mother to Stop Dumping Her Problems on Me? (The New York Times)
3. Is Online Presence a Turnoff? (The Atlantic) 
4. To Enjoy Life More, Embrace Anticipation (The New York Times) 
5.  When to Just Quit Already (The Cut) 
6. https://www.glamour.com/story/wedding-couples-should-give-singles-a-list-of-all-other-single-guests (Glamour)
7. These Artists Are Painting Moody, Classical Still Lifes of Iconic Snacks (Bon Appétit)
8. BBC's New Series Will Show You What It's Like to Renovate Those $1 Italian Homes …sign me up.  (Apartment Therapy)
9. “ I fell in love with reading again (after 18 months of isolation-induced scrolling on social media) by tricking myself into thinking it was a fun little internet thing.” How The Internet Tricked Me Into Reading A New Book Every Single Day (Buzzfeed)