Saturday Insights - Being Right Isn't The Point
Saturday Insights — a 5-10 min article that simply aims to improve at least one aspect of your life. It's a combination between constant flow of motivation and distilled wisdom that compounds over time. Every Saturday, you’ll get a new bite of insight that’ll allow you to get consistently better and open a completely new perspective. Contents
Well, hello there! So great to see you back for your Saturday Insights. Today, we’re exploring the true meaning of debate — and believe it or not — it has nothing to do with being right. Personal Note: We suggest taking notes of at least 1 (or more) points which you think can benefit yourself personally. By doing this, not only you’ll not forget it, but there’ll be 90% chance of you taking that action practically. But before we get into it, let’s take some time to re-center ourselves and settle into this moment. MindfulnessToday, we’ll do that with some box breathing.
5+5+5=15 seconds is a long time to breathe in and out, but focusing on these intentional exhales and inhales will allow the noise in your mind to fall silent (at least mostly silent) and for you to be right here with us in this moment. For the next 60 seconds, continue this box breathing sequence of inhaling for 5 seconds, holding for 5 seconds, and exhaling for 5 seconds. If your mind begins to wander or worry — it’s okay! Just come back to your breath counting each set of 5. If you need some tunes to keep track of time & mind, here’s 1 min music:
Being Right Isn't The PointToday, we’re going to be talking about one of those constructs. It’s commonly accepted among most people that the point of entering into a debate or an argument is to prove one side wrong and the other side right. Over time, this is how we come to understand the dynamics of these exchanges, but have you ever considered that actually, it isn’t the point at all? There are lots of people who would disagree with this idea, but those people more than likely are the same individuals who simply cannot tolerate different opinions. Those with a bit of a fragile ego. You see, people falling into this category derive a sort of dominance from entering into an argument and bombarding their adversary with all the reasons why they’re right. But readers, consider this: Being right? It really isn’t the point, it’s not even close. So, if being right isn’t the goal, then what is? The goal in an argument or debate is (simply put) “critical thinking” and it’s actually something a lot of people fail to do on a regular basis. When two sides with opposing views come together to discuss something, it’s very possible that both sides are right in some way, shape, or form. Every single individual approaches situations and scenarios from their own personal worldview based on their own personal experiences, relationships, and values. And with this in mind, you know it's almost amazing how often we humans do agree. But when we don't, please do not waste this precious opportunity that you have to learn. Arguments & DebatesYou see, debates or arguments really are the best way to understand that situations you once viewed as simple are actually very nuanced and complex. By switching out variables, like:
You end up with completely different worldviews, needs, and struggles — and these are the aspects of life that shape us. One person’s “right” is another person’s “not so right” so to speak. Before entering into a debate though, it's important to ask yourself — “Is there anything that could be said to change my mind on this?” Because if the answer is nothing, there really isn’t much point in a debate, is there? There’s a certain amount of give & take in a debate. Otherwise, it’s just a lecture, or a diatribe of your rightness. And likewise, if the person you’re discussing something with went on a one-sided rant, you would likely be less than keen to adopt their line of thought too. The goal of an argument isn’t to have your opponents say —
The best way for an argument to end is for one or both people to say —
That is the best outcome of a debate. That is the kind of results that really leads us in an individual. Remember: We often assume the other person needs to open their eyes or view things differently, but readers, just as often — it’s you who needs to consider that a different perspective from the one that you hold may also be true. And this can be difficult for individuals who struggle with taking criticism or being wrong. As human beings, we all carry with us many biases and we cannot escape them, not fully. The best we can do is be aware of them. We have to check our biases often because our biases are our blind spots. This is part of what makes “confirmation bias” so dangerous. Because we cannot escape our biases, we rarely read them out. Typically, we just accumulate more. And because challenging our beliefs is uncomfortable, many people seek out groups and information that reinforce those beliefs — that selected knowledge. Run the experiment long enough and — well — you end up with a severely divided population with everyone thinking that they’re right and hardly anyone willing to compromise or meet in the middle. Sounds pretty familiar, right? And that’s why we’re having this chat today readers, because the dynamics of debate needs to change and we’re all going to change them together. Slowly, but collectively! The more discussions we have that can shift the parameters of our thoughts, alter our usual perspective, and offer up a new view — the more that people will be able to understand each other and meet in the middle. TakeawayAs we set up at the start, we’re all coming at various topics and issues with our own sets of preconceived beliefs, ideas, and experiences. So, the more conversations we can be exposed to (where radically different ideas are being presented), and instead of getting upset & frustrated that we’re right & they’re wrong, if we just listen & participate with a mind that’s willing to consider new information & perspectives, we will change the world readers! It’s only a matter of time. If we as a generation can master the art of communication without the need to declare a winner and a loser, then it’s just a matter of time before the way humans interact is radically shifted. Think about it: If we pull it off ourselves, we can pass it on to our children to pass it on to theirs. Just take a moment to think about what kind of difference that would make. If we regularly allowed ourselves to sample the truths of other people, we could more fully understand that the nuances of life don’t allow for very many absolutes. That’s why being right isn’t the point readers. Remember this and you will always leave a debate smarter than when you entered. P.S. This is a sample story to give you an idea of what we publish every Saturday. There’re also samples of Wednesday Stories and Sunday Digests. To get a whole idea of what you’ll get with a paid subscription, give a read to our about page. Our objective is to reach 1 million people and try our best to give them what they need the most — thoughts & productivity that compounds over time. |
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