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I have not written anything for 3 weeks. Not this newsletter. No fiction. No poetry. I can only say that there is a limit in my ability to balance everything. I don’t know how others seem to have it figured out and have the perfect balance. I know that I have been talking about balance quite a lot for the past few months but maybe the only way to do it is work-life integration. Let me know your secret to perfect balance.

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Fiction for your pleasure

Even though I have not been writing, I am always looking for new books to read. My reading list is growing and approaching 1,000 books probably.

There are some books that grab me with their first page. They are rare but precious. Below are a bunch of fiction that interests me after reading 1 or 10 pages. My capacity to read non-fiction is non-existent right now, not to mention the wisdom are the same. All I want is to escape to another world these writers create perfectly, especially Ali Smith and Ethan Hawke. They are unbelievably great writers.

Autumn – Ali Smith

Winter – Ali Smith

Spring – Ali Smith

Summer – Ali Smith

I have noticed Ali Smith’s books are always on Bookstagram. There are definitely reasons for that. I don’t know if it is a coincidence but my short story about a single dad has a bit of contemplation like Summer. As someone who likes philosophy, there is no reason that Summer would not intrigue me.

Should We Stay or Should We Go – Lionel Shriver

Anxious People – Fredrik Backman

A Bright Ray of Darkness – Ethan Hawke

On working with and against constraints

One of my good friends said, “Remember, your feelings about the work don’t determine the value of the work.” You can feel frustrated, disgusted, agitated, hopeless, every day, on and off, but you can’t necessarily believe all your moods. You just have to keep on working.

Yeah, not believing in your moods. That’s a quote from Emerson, I might add. “Our moods do not believe in each other.” Which is one of my favourite quotes because when you feel despair, despair doesn’t believe in joy. And that can be very hard as a writer. If you feel like you open up your files and everything looks like shit and you’re upset, that mood is going to make you want to invalidate your whole project.

— Maggie Nelson

It is a roller coaster ride when I started to write longer stories. It is a love-hate relationship whenever I write fiction that is more than 1000 words. It is epic at first and it is the worst and the most boring story ever next second. Still here thinking about the short story but now may not be the best time to write as my creativity is gone. Nowhere to be found. It is 404 error for now. Let’s see where it takes me.

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Take care,
Celeste