In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and Gawker.com. And God said, “let there be newsletter” — and so there was newsletter. And then god said, “let there be Sexiest Man Alive 2022” — and so there was Adam. Not Adam of Adam and Eve fame, but Adam Brody. Congratulations to Adam. Man, that really brings us back to the good ol’ days when the O.C. was on and we couldn’t eat from this one tree. What’s this feeling? It’s nostalgia. And we’re nostalgic for last weekend, when the When We Were Young Festival happened in Vegas, which you can now relive on our website. Ahhh, life. What’s that thing they say about it? That it’s a bitch? Well, Meghan Markle wouldn’t say that, because the word “bitch” gives her “full body hives.” Thank God for feminism and its anthems like “Let’s Get Loud,” the notoriously political 1999 banger from the outspoken political firebrand Jennifer Lopez. What rights is “Let’s Get Loud” fighting for? Who knows! All of them, probably. Whatever. Another fierce political leader, Norway Princess Märtha Louise, who was once punished for working as a clairvoyant, has found a lid for her pot. And that lid is a shaman. The princess and the shaman love love‚— and for the low, low price of $222, the shaman will sell you a little medallion that maybe, just maybe, will cure your COVID. Allegedly!
Adam Brody Is Gawker’s Sexiest Man Alive 2022
By Kelly Conaboy
From the ‘O.C.’ to ‘Fleishman Is in Trouble,' we just like him
As you may have heard, Chris Evans (from 2001’s Not Another Teen Movie) is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2022, a coveted title that recently went to country singer Blake Shelton during the first year of Trump’s presidency. Now, we are pleased to announce after an extended conclave that Gawker’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2022 is … Adam Brody!
Whether he’s popping up in film or television, Adam Brody is a consistent delight. He is hot, and he is also charming. As such, the Gawker voting committee was delighted that his turn as “Seth” in the upcoming Hulu miniseries Fleishman Is in Trouble made him eligible for this year’s Sexiest Man Alive honor.
Adam Brody was born in San Diego, California. Best known for playing Seth Cohen on the O.C., 42-year-old Brody has stayed “booked and busy” in the years since. “Make sure to mention his arc as Derek on Single Parents,” said Gawker writer Claire Carusillo, and we indeed did mention it just now. Continue reading
Nostalgia! At the Music Festival
By Hannah Seidlitz
Aging emos descended on Vegas for the When We Were Young Festival
Monday, 0400h. Outside the desert air blew cold and tight and I felt sorry for myself. A man named William in a Hyundai Tucson picked me up from the tawdry STRAT Hotel, Casino & Skypod where I’d blown the last of my money. William had a wiry Merlin goatee and lived in Arizona, he told me, three hours south. His mother had moved to Vegas 43 years ago, after he’d graduated college, and so every few months he’d come up for a week or two to see her, and at night he would drive. I had a friend who always said the Jersey Shore was the most honest place in America, and here, on the Strip, I thought I finally understood what she meant. William said it was a friendly city because most folks who lived here full-time were hospitality shills trained in complaisance. He for one appreciated their plasticky solicitude. He had the slow and low growl of Sam Elliott, taking it easy for all us sinners. He said Vegas like it was a prize horse, wrangled the vowels wide-eyed.
A chopper whirred overhead. “Here we got helicopter tours flying over the Strip pretty much 20 hours a day. The real people live out there,” he gestured to the sprawl.
“Have you ever been in a helicopter?” I asked.
He grinned. “Shit, I’ve jumped out of airplanes,” he said. Then, “I’m prior service.”
The Luxor light, half-dimmed but still the brightest in the world, shot through the clouds like a valkyrie.
“But that was then,” he went on. “Now I just drive.”
He asked if I was in town for the music thing, and I told him I was. How was it? he asked.
I think I went into it expecting to feel embarrassed for other people. To report back dutifully the scores of adults in shirts that said PANIC! AT THE 20 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, or METALCORE MOMMY. But on the highway to the Harry Reid International Airport a quarter past four in the morning I could only think of the crowds outside the fence in the red gloam of finale fireworks dancing to the song about a father and a son and a city and the unconquerable human spirit. Some of the exiled revelers had purchased tickets for Saturday’s canceled show, others just lived in the area and wanted to swill whatever dregs of wingdinging they could. Continue reading
Meghan Too Prim To Say "Bitch" During Bitch-Themed ‘Archetypes’ Episode
By Claire Carusillo
That's one thing The Duchess won't be reclaiming
Listen up bitches: Meghan Quirkburger Markle is back in the stu with another hot volume of her Archetypes pod. This is her “To ‘B’ or not to ‘B’?” episode, in which “Meghan explores the origin and plague of ‘the B word’ and its cousin difficult and how these terms are often wrongly applied to a strong-minded woman, especially in business.”
Despite my avid entrepreneurship (I sell Meghan Markle tees out of the back of my van in the parking lot of the Montecito Country Mart), there’s almost nothing I personally care less about than being respected in business. But I listened to her interviews with Mellody Hobson, the first Black female chairperson of an S&P company (Starbies, if you want to know), and Victoria Jackson, the infomercial queen and medical researcher, because I was hoping Meghan “Oh gosh” Markle would say “bitch.” I wanted to put it on my soundboard for my morning radio call-in show or use it as blackmail. Continue reading
J.Lo Won’t Rest Until “Let’s Get Loud” Is a Civil Rights Anthem
By Olivia Craighead
She took time away from gushing about Ben Affleck to support this important cause
When you think of all the great music that has scored the most contentious moments in America’s history, what are you thinking of? Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” probably comes to mind; maybe Nina Simone’s “To Be Young, Gifted and Black;” Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ In the Wind” is certainly up there. If Jennifer Lopez has her way, “Let’s Get Loud” will join these ranks any day now.
Lopez is on the cover of Vogue this month, focusing for the most part on how in love she is with Ben Affleck. She’s shooting a sc-fi action thriller, but to her it’s a love story. She changed her legal name to Jennifer Affleck because it “still carries tradition and romance” for her. She thinks Jennifer Garner is a great co-parent. You get the picture.
However, if you zoom in, you’ll notice that this profile is also another stepping stone in her years-long crusade to turn her 1999 dance hit “Let’s Get Loud” into some kind of civil rights bop.
“I want all the little girls in the world to get loud. Get loud! Say it when it’s wrong. Don’t be afraid,” the Monster-in-Law star told the magazine. So, “Let’s Get Loud” is a feminist anthem meant to empower young girls, but could it also be more?
In 2020, when Lopez performed at the Super Bowl halftime show alongside Shakira, she sang “Let’s Get Loud.” This time, she was joined by a chorus of children, some of whom sat in glowing orbs that were meant to invoke the cages in which migrant children were being detained. According to her, the NFL wanted to cut that part of the show, but she held her ground. Continue reading
Norway’s Princess Märtha Louise Dumped the Monarchy for Sexy Shaman
By Claire Carusillo
Together, they’ll optimize their spirits without taxpayer money
Good news for all of us still a little shook up from the untimely death of Elizabeth II: We have a brand new Queen, and she’s Norway’s Princess Mãrtha Louise, who just stepped away from her royal duties as daughter of the King of Norway to marry an American shaman named Durek Verett. According to Tatler, the 50-year-old princess wants to “focus on alternative medicine” with Verett, “a 47-year-old American businessman and Hollywood alternative therapist [and] the author of Spirit Hacking: Shamanic keys to reclaim your personal power, transform yourself and light up the world.”
According to The Guardian, “he sells a medallion on his website labeled a ‘Spirit Optimizer,’ which he claims helped him overcome Covid-19.” The text of Spirit Hacking also reportedly implies that acquiring cancer is a choice a person makes. Continue reading
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