Sallie's Opinion

Where’s the Romance in Sharing Financial Control?

I have something a little odd to share this Valentine’s Day: Over the past few weeks, two different women have told me I was a catalyst for their divorce — and thanked me for it.

Both women said they heard me talking about love and money and realized they were in relationships that no longer served them — and that the way their partner hoarded the power around money was a warning sign.

Don’t get me wrong: We’re all for romantic love here at Ellevest. And we’re also all for not giving up control over your money regardless of your romantic status. Because we can agree (I hope) that financial dependence is bad for women.

But who else is it bad for? I’ll tell you.

“Talk about [money] early and often. Use it as an opportunity to get closer and assess shared values.”

— Elle Raiser @ktyeswak on the best advice she ever got about money in relationships. Want to see your name in lights (er, newsletters)? Follow us on Instagram — we’re doing polls most weeks in our stories.

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Links 2 Lurrrrve 💖

• You know how we always say “ask for more” when it comes to salary expectations? Here’s why.
• Have you noticed how impostor syndrome seems like it’s hit peak saturation? Even the woman who coined the phrase is over it.
• So-called “intensive mothering” is having a pop-cultural moment, as seen in Fleishman is in Trouble and M3GAN. We loved this essay about it.
• A pro tip we can get behind: Factor ice cream into your retirement plan.
• Rihanna’s pregnancy performance had us (and many others) thinking about how assumptions about maternity show up at work.