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Elected Republicans are…not being subtle about their tyrannical ambitions.
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Disgraced former president Donald Trump responded to his historic federal indictment by promising that, if re-elected, he will appoint a special prosecutor to “go after” President Biden and his family, implying falsely that the Justice Department only charged him with 37 counts of federal crimes because he is Biden’s political opponent, not because of the, you know, classified-document stealing and airing of state secrets to anyone who happened to walk into his general vicinity.
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His vow of revenge fits neatly into the larger Republican plan to gut the FBI and promulgate sham investigations of the “weaponization” of the federal government (i.e. any effort to hold conservatives accountable) at taxpayer expense. At the nucleus of this campaign are two men employed by the right-wing NGO the Center for Renewing America: Jeffrey Clark and Russell Vought. During the Trump years, Clark was the only senior Justice Department official who tried to help Trump overturn the 2020 election, so you know he’s on the up-and-up. The two men are promoting a legal rationale that would fundamentally morph the Justice Department into a political arm of the White House (so long as the president is a Republican).
- Clark in particular subscribes to a fringe analysis called “unitary executive theory” which posits that the president (again, Republican only) has the power to directly control the entire federal government and Congress cannot “infringe” on that power by giving some officials the authority to operate independently. For his part, Vought perpetuated the false claim that “federal law enforcement is weaponized against [conservatives],” which is especially ironic considering how many law-enforcement officials have been exposed as right-wing extremists.
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But the current Justice Department has signaled that it will not back down.
The Republican Party was never exactly brimming with moral do-gooders, but Donald Trump has overseen its transformation from “We love law and order” to “We love crimes and believe our #1 criminal Daddy and all of his friends should be able to keep committing them.” And most of us are old enough to remember a time when that kind of paradigm shift would have been frowned upon.
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Your go-to bag should be practical enough for those days when the GCal is so full it doesn’t load and sleek enough to make you look like you had time to think about an outfit. Take the Belt Bag everywhere, from coffee runs to bar crawls.
Now all you have to do is pick a strap (or just get them all).
FRUITY
Bring your essentials to the Pride parade, Pride picnic, or Pride run to the grocery store.
F*CK BANS
We will be putting this on merch until trans people and women stop getting their rights taken away, kay?
PHONE KEYS HUSH MONEY
Perfect for the average Trump associate on the go, this strap will remind you to bring the essentials and send the screenshots to your lawyer.
LET WOMEN RUN SHIT
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again on a bag strap. Women who run shit don't spend 5 minutes digging through their bag for the keys.
The options are endless. Head to crooked.com/store to bag it today.
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In another surprisingly-good decision, the Supreme Court struck down the challenges to the 1978 Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) in a 7-2 decision, upholding the federal law. ICWA was passed to begin to remedy the gruesome history of hundreds of thousands of Native American children, who were kidnapped and adopted out to White families or placed in assimilationist group homes. Under ICWA, when a Native child is placed for adoption or in the foster care system, the child’s relatives and tribes are given preference as guardians. The law was challenged by three non-Native couples and three states, led by Texas, who contended that the law requires states to make a decision for a child based on “racial discrimination” in ways that the Constitution prohibits under the Equal Protection Act. The flood of right-wing money buoying the plaintiffs came from sources like the oil-and-gas industry, which have a vested interest in this case. If Brackeen v. Haaland had overturned ICWA, it would have effectively render all of Federal Indian Law invalid on the basis of “racial discrimination,” and protections for Native Tribes would dissolve, potentially leaving their land ripe for exploitation.
But as the SCOTUS majority ruled, protections for Native American tribes are based on political distinctions, not racial ones. Under federal law, Native American tribes are sovereign nations complete with their own laws and governments, not simply a race of people. A joint statement from the leaders of Cherokee Nation, Morongo Band of Mission Indians, Oneida Nation, and Quinault Indian Nation reads, “We hope this decision will lay to rest the political attacks aimed at diminishing tribal sovereignty and creating instability through Indian Law that have persisted for too long.” Lawyers for several tribes along with the Justice Department defended ICWA, and President Biden praised the Court’s decision, saying it would retain “vital protection for tribal sovereignty and Native children.” Several of the Justices in the majority wrote concurring opinions, including Justice Neil Gorsuch, who has been consistent in his adherence to Federal Indian Law, and stressed repeatedly that this issue is one of “state intrusions on tribal authority.” Gorsuch has written an opinion on every case relating to Native American rights since he was appointed to the Court, and in the Brackeen case wrote a staggering 38-page opinion of his own. Can you guess who the two dissenting justices were? Of course you can! It was Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas, who continued their steadfast commitment to being wrong and needlessly punishing marginalized communities.
For more in-depth information on the Brackeen case, check out Season 2 of Crooked Media’s This Land hosted by journalist Rebecca Nagle, citizen of Cherokee Nation.
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The United Kingdom’s parliamentary privileges committee—the institution’s main disciplinary board—issued a damning ruling that former Prime Minister Boris Johnson deliberately misled parliament when he held parties that broke COVID-era lockdown rules at his office.
North Korea deployed two short-range missiles off its eastern coast on Thursday.
Russia has announced its intention to hold elections in occupied territories of Ukraine in just three months, an apparent attempt to project “business as usual” as Ukraine’s counteroffensive continues.
Silicon Valley Girlboss™ Lexi Reese, the current COO of the H.R. platform Gusto, is preparing to run for Senate to replace Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA). There’s always one tech weirdo in the bunch.
Mayor of Miami Francis Suarez has thrown his hat into the already-crowded 2024 Republican primary, probably because he, too, is a crook who wants the protective cover of running as a presidential candidate.
Texas financier (read: rich guy villain) whose name is, I shit you not, Gentry Beach, is moving to have his nasty little emails with his pal Dr. Trump, Jr., redacted from court proceedings in his 15-year-long lawsuit against a New york hedge fund. The emails, you will be shocked to learn, include multiple derogatory remarks about Jewish people and Mexicans.
Google’s parent company, Alphabet, Inc., warned its own employees about how they use artificial-intelligence chatbots, including the company’s own Bard, citing fears of the release of confidential information.
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In the latest iteration of a truly draconian stunt, Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) announced on Wednesday that he’d sent a busload of 42 migrants—including eight children—to Los Angeles on a 23-hour ride with no food, and baselessly blamed it on “President Biden’s refusal to secure the border.” The migrants originated from Central America, South America, and Africa. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass issued a statement shortly after their arrival, saying, “It is abhorrent that an American elected official is using human beings as pawns in his cheap political games.” She added that she had been instructing departments to prepare for this kind of “despicable stunt that Republican governors have grown so fond of,” since she took office. The city’s Emergency Operations Center was activated on Wednesday to assist in coordinating local and state partners as well as community organizations. Los Angeles officials reported that among the migrants subjected to the day-long bus trip were babies, toddlers, and school-aged children. Greg Abbott: the heartless little bitch we always knew he was.
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