The wackiest headlines from the week as they would appear in a Classifieds section.

Careers

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE: Mattel is hiring a “chief Uno player” to play its new game, Uno Quatro, for four hours a day, four days a week, for four weeks. The pay is $4,444 a week, so get ready to live your life in fours.

LACTOSE INTOLERANT REALTOR: A Canadian real estate agent has to pay a $15,000 fine because he got caught drinking milk straight from the carton at a seller’s home. In his defense, he had just taken a bite of the leftover curry takeout.

UNDERWATER DRIVER: Not “diver”—we want to be very clear. A team of 30 people managed to drive a Land Cruiser called “mud crab” almost 4.3 miles underneath 100 feet of water. But there are rumors of a mermaid hit-and-run accident.

Personal

GUEST OF GOOP: Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to stay in her Montecito guesthouse. For real—she listed it on Airbnb. The house is stocked with Goop powders, creams, and pills that may or may not do anything but will still give you something to do instead of being alone with your thoughts.

ISO TINY LANDSCAPER: A New Jersey woman bought Duck Ledges Island, a 1.5-acre rocky landmass off the coast of Maine that had gone viral when it was listed. Amenities include a tiny cottage, no running water, and thick fog. The housewarming will take a lot of coordination.

For sale

ORCA AIRLIFT SERVICES: Jim Irsay, the billionaire owner of the Indianapolis Colts, is moving forward with a $20 million plan to transport an 8,000-pound orca named Lolita via plane from her small enclosure in Miami to the Pacific Ocean. “She’s healthy, I’ve got the money, let’s move her,” Irsay said.

YOUR EARS ONLY: Beyoncé is selling “listening only” tickets for her Renaissance tour. The seats are behind the stage, so you can’t see any of the set or dancing, but they only cost $157 compared to the ~$900 fans have been paying for regular US tickets. They’re perfect for anyone who can’t lock down a sequined cowboy hat in time.—MM

The line between bears and humans has blurred in a big way this summer. First, as you can see here, a bear invited itself over to a neighbor’s pool in Burbank, CA, to escape the heat wave (relatable). A few days later, after conspiracy theories swirled online, a Chinese zoo felt compelled to publicly state that its Malayan sun bears were, in fact, bears and not humans dressed in costume.

Here’s a picture of those Malayan sun bears. You can decide for yourself whether those are bears or people in bear suits.

Here are some illuminating scientific discoveries from the week to help you live better and maybe even pop some bubbly.

Scientists climb cathedrals to collect space dust. Old churches preserve more than just architectural history: Their spired roofs are an untouched oasis of asteroid and comet particles, and two scientists are going, as The Guardian put it, Ghostbusters-mode to gather samples. Equipped with harnesses and vacuum backpacks, Penny Wozniakiewicz and Matthias van Ginneken plan to scale cathedrals across the UK to gather the cosmic dust lying atop. They’re trying to understand how heavily the space objects that melt into particles en route to Earth layer our surfaces. They say cathedrals are especially useful because they tend to have good construction records showing how long the roofs have been there, collecting dust.

Are you very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy? That’s the question that the General Social Survey has asked a sample of US adults since 1972. A new analysis of people’s answers shows we’re all doing…okay. There’s been a dip in happiness since about the turn of the century, but satisfaction has started to turn around. However, not everyone is equally happy: Married people tend to be 30% happier than unmarried folks, people who trust others (or the government) are happier than people who sleep with one eye open, and the Northeast is the unhappiest region. And women, but not men, have reported declining happiness for the past 50 years.

Size matters for keeping champagne fizzy. A 3-liter bottle of bubbly is predicted to last for 132 years before going flat—more than three times the shelf life of a 750-milliliter champagne bottle, according to a new study. A French physicist studying champagne at the University of Reims Champagne-Ardenne analyzed the aging process of 13 vintage collections. He and his team found that after champagne’s necessary aging period, all the bottles lost carbonation the longer they sat on the shelf, but the larger the bottles were, the more fizz they retained. So, the next time you buy old champagne, the research suggests you should spring for a jeroboam.—ML

Lab researchers, amateur lab researchers, and an X user with an anime profile pic have all spent the last week trying to get metal to levitate.

It’s not some new-age occult ritual: The ability to float over a magnet is characteristic of a substance conveying electricity without any resistance, aka a superconductor. Ever since South Korean researchers claimed they discovered a superconductor that could work outside of extreme conditions—long considered the Holy Grail of physics—other scientists have rushed to verify their findings. Meanwhile, social media has been abuzz as hobbyists try to synthesize the so-called “LK-99” substance at home and publish their DIY experiments online.

Why are normies suddenly obsessed with solid-state physics?

Existing superconductors are impractical for most real-world uses since they can only function at super-low temperatures or under extremely high pressure. Finding one that works in ambient-pressure, room-temp conditions is a Nobel Prize-worthy achievement that would be as game-changing as TV headphones were for your grandparents’ marriage.

Because superconductors can boost any tech that relies on electricity or magnets, a commercially viable one could enable futuristic developments like ubiquitous floating maglev trains, 100% energy-efficient grids, and commercially viable quantum computers.

That’s why everyone’s so hyped over the Seoul-based scientists’ two preliminary papers and video of the ostensibly floating substance, LK-99. It’s already started to affect markets in Asia and the US, briefly rallying stocks of obscure companies that could benefit from a superconductor revolution. But, before the scientific community breaks into a Windows 95-launch nerd dance, other experts have to review the methods and data in the paper and replicate the experiment to ensure it’s not a fluke.

The race to replicate is on

At least 12 academic labs on four continents are publicly working to synthesize the supposedly superconductive material, according to one blogger who’s been tracking the progress.

US-based Lawrence Berkeley National Lab and China’s Shenyang National Laboratory, as well as other labs, published tentative findings indicating that there’s a chance that the substance is indeed a superconductor.

And since the original experiment involved a mix of easy-to-procure ingredients and pretty straightforward techniques, DIYers are also getting in on the act and making LK-99 the internet’s main character.

• A Moscow-based condensed matter physics enthusiast with an anime avatar, @iris_IGB, posted purported photo evidence of achieving LK-99 levitation. She claims concocting the superconducting substance using her modified method cost her around $160.
• An engineer working at a California space startup, Andrew McCalip, has been spending a lot of time trying to cook up the floating metal and tweeting his progress.
• Levitating LK-99 became a side project for French chemistry PhD student Ezzoubair Bendadesse who (according to his unverified X account) so far has failed twice but managed to produce a “reddish pellet.”

But most physicists are casting doubt on LK-99

Despite the internet’s enthusiasm, skepticism has been the prevailing sentiment among most experts. Material scientists are well aware that erroneous superconductor “breakthroughs” have happened before. There’s even a term for such “discoveries”: USOs (unidentified superconducting objects). 

A committee organized by the Korean Society of Superconductivity and Cryogenics said the researchers from Seoul did not provide enough evidence to conclude that the substance is really a room-temperature superconductor. They asked to review a sample of the substance.

Argonne National Laboratory theorist Michael Norman has questioned the expertise of the same researchers. He told Science Magazine that parts of their data seem “fishy” and that he’s doubtful about how exactly LK-99 can work, pointing out that superconducting is puzzlingly uncharacteristic of some of the ingredients in the metal alloy.

Looking ahead...we’ll have to wait and see whether LK-99 can be verified, but some think the fact that this saga is playing out so publicly is already a win for the scientific method. Maybe the real ambient superconductor is the lab partners we made along the way.—SK

Meal prep: Bronx food collective Ghetto Gastro, self-described as “Bronx magic for your cabinet,” makes a killer sweet potato pancake and waffle mix.

Pantry necessity: Neal swears this is the GOAT of condiments.

Book rec: Isn’t it weird that your parents had a life before you? Ann Patchett explores family drama and secrets in her new novel, Tom Lake.

Art rec: Woodland Ghost is a cozy account full of illustrations that will make you want to make a cup of tea and let out a deep sigh.

Watch: Binge the first two seasons of the star-studded caper Only Murders in the Building before season three premieres on Tuesday.

Listen: Doechii is in the running for the greatest rapper of her generation with her new song, “Universal Swamp Anthem.”

Go digital: Grow an online presence with Squarespace. Design a completely custom website with Squarespace Blueprint’s professionally curated layout and styling options. Get started with a 14-day free trial.*

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It’s a big world out there. In this section, we’ll teleport you to an interesting location—and hopefully give you travel ideas in the process.

Welcome to Residuals Tavern, where a $0.50 check will get you a beer on the house.

As its name suggests, this Studio City bar is a reference to the royalty checks known as “residuals” Hollywood performers receive when the shows or movies they worked on get optioned for reruns. In the boom years of the ’90s, residual checks could run into the hundreds of dollars. But in the streaming era, many payouts have shrunk to less than $1—a central reason why actors and writers have gone on strike.

Since it opened in 1986, Residuals Tavern, a show biz hangout near the studio lots of Walt Disney, Warner Bros., and Universal Pictures, has offered a free beer to anyone who showed up with a residual check of less than $1, Reuters reports. The bar even used to put the laughably small checks up on the wall as a metaphorical middle finger to the studios.

If Residuals Tavern continued hanging up the <$1 checks, it would need a lot more real estate. Due in part to free-beer-level residuals, only 14% of SAG-AFTRA’s 160,000 members meet the $26,470 per year income threshold to qualify for its health insurance, the performers union said.

So, next time you’re in Studio City, pop by Residuals Tavern for an IPA and maybe a chat about what it’s really like to work in Hollywood with the middle-class actors, writers, construction laborers, prop-makers, and electricians who make the show biz industry tick.—NF

Last week we asked: What’s your preferred method of entering a pool and why?

Here are some of our favorite responses.

• “Steps while holding my hands up. Never get your hands wet. I hate waterlogged fingers and don’t mind looking like an idiot.”—Angela from Fort Worth, TX
• “When I was on the swim team, we would dunk our caps in first and fill them with water. Then, while full of water, we’d put the caps on. Drenched without dipping a toe in.”—Mary from Huntsville, AL
• “As a new pool owner and father of four kids, the only way to enter is with a football pass, which I dive after to catch. My kids follow by doing the Griddy off the diving board to celebrate the ‘touchdown.’”—Steve from Indianapolis, IN
• “I prefer to just fall in, in a weird way. Like I’m in an old Western movie and someone punched my lights out and I just fell over, dead weight.”—Corey from Corona, CA
• “The same way I quit smoking 44 years ago: COLD turkey! Get it over with, I say.”—Bob from Connellsville, PA

This week’s question

How would you know that you’ve mastered a new language?

Abby’s answer to get the juices flowing: “When you understand a joke being told in that language.”

Share your response here.

Starting your journey to become a CFO? Check out this handy guide to the hiring process.

What does the future of recruiting look like? Get ahead with insights from HR Brew.

*Source: https://www.cnbc.com/select/why-americans-are-stressed-about-money/

Facet Wealth, Inc. (“Facet”) is an SEC Registered Investment Advisor headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland. This is not an offer to sell securities or the solicitation of an offer to purchase securities. This is not investment, financial, legal, or tax advice.

**Based on a study conducted by Facet in April 2023. A statistically valid sample of members following Facet’s current planning process demonstrated that more than half of these members, defined here as a majority, achieved value greater than their planning fee. This value was shown to reoccur on an annual basis. Assumptions included average expenses and fees, using retirement tax savings, portfolio expenses and tax loss harvesting as value drivers using Facet’s investment services, and discounting value to align with the acceptance of Facet recommendations. Facet assesses clients an annual flat fee for service based on the complexity of planning needs. There is no separate or additional fee for investment management. This is not a guarantee or prediction of actual results for any member and results may vary by member. Some value like tax loss harvesting may vary year to year.