3-2-1: How to have healthy relationships, optimism vs pessimism, and the power of forgiveness

Happy 3-2-1 Thursday!

Here are 3 ideas, 2 quotes, and 1 question to consider this week...

I.

"The person who tells the best story rules their corner of the world."

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​II.

"Your relationships will rarely be healthier than your self-esteem.

If the time you spend alone is already enjoyable to some degree—that is, if you have a healthy internal monologue and generally feel good about yourself—then you will have a fairly high bar for the type of relationships you'll enter.

But if you're unhappy with yourself, then you are more likely to put up with bad relationships because they may occasionally make you feel better than you do alone. If you want a great relationship, the first thing you want is to be comfortable with yourself."

III.

"Optimism early, pessimism in the middle, optimism late.

Your starting position has to be somewhat optimistic or you'll talk yourself out of getting started. Believing in what you are about to do does not guarantee success, but a lack of belief can prevent it.

Once you've committed, pessimism becomes useful. Question things. Find holes in your plan. Hold yourself to a high standard and try to identify your mistaken beliefs before they become your misplaced actions.

After you've spent some time troubleshooting, it's back to optimism again. Nothing will ever be perfect, but you have to act anyway. Progress requires the courage to forge ahead despite the inevitable obstacles."

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I.

Painter and furniture maker Francis Jourdain on simplicity:

"One can furnish a room very luxuriously by taking out furniture rather than putting it in."

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Source: The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life​

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​II.

Writer Jeanette Winterson on forgiveness:

"The way you depict your own life is important. For some people, it's either revenge—they're always looking for someone else to blame and to get back at—or it's tragedy because the whole thing is such a bloody mess and they'll never get out of it. But the moment that you can forgive, you take back the power and the healing waters flow."

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Source: Women at Work Vol II: Interviews from the Paris Review​

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Think about something you are facing right now. Have you been trying to think your way to a solution or act your way to a solution? Sometimes you need more action, sometimes you need a better strategy.

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Want to share this issue of 3-2-1 via text, social media, or email? Just copy and paste this link:

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/september-21-2023

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Until next week,

James Clear
​Author of Atomic Habits and keynote speaker​​

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p.s. Say hi to Steve for me.

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