3-2-1: On being bigger than your problems, personal responsibility, and inner circle friendships

Happy 3-2-1 Thursday!

Here are 3 ideas, 2 quotes, and 1 question to consider this week...

I.

"Some lessons have to be experienced to be learned."

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​II.

"A valuable skill in life is to be larger than the situation.

When you're feeling stressed or rattled, the situation is consuming you. It feels bigger and more important than it needs to be. This is when your emotions are likely to get the best of you.

But when you are larger than the situation, you can mentally "step outside and above it." Yes, there are problems to be solved. Yes, you need to take action. But the chaos is happening externally and you are still in the driver's seat internally. You're in control of the moment, the moment is not in control of you."

III.

"Explore life from a position of power.

When you believe, "Even if I stay single, I'll still have a great life" ... then you are in a much better position to enter a relationship.

When you believe, "Even if I don't get into this school, I'll still have a great life" ... then you are in a much better position to apply.

When you believe, "Even if I don't succeed with this business, I'll still have a great life" ... then you are in a much better position to give it a try.

Sure, you may want the relationship to work or the business to be a success—and you should give it your best effort—but also realize that if it doesn't work out, you'll be fine. There are many ways to live a great life."

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I.

An ancient Greek saying reminds us of the power of personal responsibility:

"If your doorstep is clean, then your city will be clean."

Source: unknown

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​II.

Helen Keller, the first deaf and blind person in the United States to earn a college degree, on optimism:

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good, that it may prevail."

Source: Optimism (1903) ​

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It's easy to gravitate toward the idea of having lots of friends, but you'll probably benefit more from strengthening your "inner circle" friendships than from simply gaining more friends.

Who belongs in your inner circle? Can you reach out to one of them right now?

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Want to share this issue of 3-2-1 via text, social media, or email? Just copy and paste this link:

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/august-31-2023

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Until next week,

James Clear
​Author of Atomic Habits and keynote speaker​​

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p.s. Somebody get me a ride with this cab driver immediately.

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