Microsoft trashes Google, VCs tells founders to hold off on IPOs, and how an Italian fashion brand became the new flex

Meta is considering charging users $14 per month for an ad-free Instagram.

In a pot-calling-the-kettle-black moment, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella today threw Google under the bus at Google's antitrust trial, stating that the internet is really the "Google web" because of the search giant's outsized market power. He also said he may have been overenthusiastic about ChatGPT.

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Bonsai Robotics, a startup based in San Jose, Ca., that is outfitting heavy farming equipment with machine vision capabilities, raised a $10.5 million round led by Acre Venture Partners, with E14, Congruent, Serra Ventures, Fall Line Capital, SNR Ventures, and Andros also chipping in. The company has raised a total of $13.5 million. TechCrunch has more here.

Framer, a 10-year-old Amsterdam company that is a no-code website builder, raised a $27 million Series C round led by Meritech Capital Partners, with previous investors Accel and Atomico also participating. Tech.eu has more here.

Health Data Analytics Institute, a seven-year-old startup based in Dedham, Ma., that uses predictive analytics and machine learning to help clinicians make better decisions about patient care, raised a $31 million Series C round. Invus was the deal lead. More here.

Jetson, a six-year-old Palo Alto startup that is developing an electric Vertical Takeoff and Landing (eVTOL) aircraft that will cost $98,000 and won’t require a pilot’s license to fly, raised a $15 million seed round. Investors include rapper Will.i.am. VentureBeat has more here. 

Unitary AI, a four-year-old Cambridge, England-based startup that says it builds context-aware AI to detect harmful content in videos and keep brands and platforms safe, has $15 million in Series A led by Creandum. Paladin Capital Group and Plural also joined the round. TechCrunch has more here.

Cellply, a 10-year-old startup based in Bologna, Italy, that specializes in assessing the efficacy of immunotherapies in cancer treatments, raised a $3.8 million round from Recomec, Liftt, and Schia Ventures. The company has raised a total of $11.7 million. EU-Startups has more here.

Granular Energy, a two-year-old Paris startup that provides software to help utilities and companies trade clean energy, raised a $7.9 million seed round led by Norrsken VC, with All Iron Ventures, Box Group, and Valo Ventures as well as previous investors Seedcamp, Revent, and Powerhouse Ventures also digging in. Tech Funding News has more here.

Humata AI, a one-year-old Austin startup that uses AI to let users quickly obtain answers to questions they have about the content of PDF files, raised a $3.5 million round from Gradient Ventures, ARK invest, and M13. TechCrunch has more here.

Lex, a three-year-old San Francisco startup that operates a LGBTQIA+ social network and dating site, raised a $5.6 million round led by Stellation Capital, with additional participation from Slauson & Co, Hope Lab Ventures, Best Nights VC, Great Oaks, and Graph Ventures as well as previous investors Female Founders Fund, Alpaca Ventures, Red Swan, and Gaingels. TechCrunch has more here.

MeetingPackage, a nine-year-old startup based in Espoo, Finland, whose software enables clients to sell and manage meeting and event spaces, raised a $4.6 million Series A round. Scale Capital was the deal lead. The company has raised a total of $8.6 million. PhocusWire has more here.

PandasAI, a Munich startup that is building a conversational AI assistant for data analysis, raised a $1.1 million pre-seed round. Investors included Runa Capital, Episode 1, and Vento. EU-Startups has more here.

Pivot, a Paris startup founded this year that helps young companies manage procurement, raised a $5.2 million pre-seed round. Investors included Visionaries, Emblem, Cocoa, Anamcara, and Financière Saint James. TechCrunch has more here.

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Alpaca VC, an 11-year-old, New York-based seed-stage venture firm, has garnered $78 million in capital commitments for its third fund. The outfit is now managing $194 million in assets altogether, says TechCrunch.

Visa announced today that it plans to invest $100 million in companies developing generative AI technologies and applications “that will impact the future of commerce and payments.” The investments will be made through Visa Ventures, the card giant’s 16-year-old global corporate investment arm. TechCrunch has more here.

Birkenstock, the functional footwear manufacturer that traces its origins back to 1774, is reportedly targeting a $9.2 billion IPO valuation. Some think it will be a real test of the IPO's market's supposed rebound given Instacart's and Arm's 35.8% and 12% respective declines from their opening day highs. 

Despite author Michael Lewis' success in transforming short sellers into folk heroes in The Big Short, The New York Times concludes that even Lewis can't elevate disgraced FTX CEO and founder Samuel Bankman-Fried in Lewis' new book, Going Infinite.

X CEO Linda Yaccarino just announced that the platform is partnering with Paris Hilton to promote X's Live Shopping product.

CNBC delves deep into former Flexport CEO Dave Clark's last days at the company and finds founder and current CEO Ryan Petersen's story lacking. (One great nugget from this report is that last month, after Clark was ousted, he seated himself in one of the front rows at a supply chain conference where Petersen took the stage, reportedly surprising Petersen, who went on to praise Clark.)

Chainalysis, a company valued last year at $8.6 billion, is sacking 150 of its 900 employees as the crypto decline continues. 

IronNet, a nine-year-old Virginia cybersecurity startup that raised over $400 million in funding from investors like Forgepoint Capital and Kleiner Perkins, has laid off its staff and shut its doors. TechCrunch has the scoop.

Web3 funding is down . . . like, way, way down.

VCs are advising start-ups to postpone plans to go public in the U.S. until interest rates have plateaued, after choppy debuts for Arm and Instacart damped hopes for a rush of new tech listings.

Rivian is burning through billions in an attempt to build the ultimate truck. (From the WSJ: "Rivian vehicles sell for over $80,000 on average. Yet they’re so expensive to build that in the second quarter the company lost $33,000 on every one it sold.")

NASA is plotting how to build housing subdivisions in space in the next two decades.

A 104-year-old Chicago woman who set aside her walker and jumped out of a plane is still waiting for the Guinness World Records to declare her the world's oldest skydiver.

Why are we so personally invested in celebrity breakups? 

How Loro Piana became Silicon Valley’s favorite flex.

Digital license plates. (Too bad you can't change the numbers, James Bond-style.) 

Pick up Don Corleone's coat or Forrest Gump's Nikes at this auction of over 1,800 pieces of film memorabilia.