When the husband and I were first starting to get serious, I was clear that there were a few things I would not make mental space more. This wasn't an actual discussion we had. It was just the expectation we set from the get go because I simply did not take on these tasks.

First, while I happily put his family birthdays on my calendar, I do not handle any of the gift or card shopping.  Same goes for the holidays. He handles his family and I handle mine. That way, we both carry the mental load. (Also, at Christmas, the husband wraps all the presents. He's really good at it.)

Second, I do not, in anyway, pay attention to when his "stuff" needs replacing. I will happily buy whatever is on our shared shopping list, but I don't pay a whit of attention to when his toiletries run out or if he needs new clothing. 

Finally, anything that is "car." I don't do "car." I don't like driving and, until our kiddo came along, the only relationship I had with our car is that it conveyed me from place to place. The husband handled everything and anything "car" related. 

Now, I've had to back away (just a bit) from that last one. Now that I'm squiring the kiddo about and running a few driving errands on my own, I do need to pay (some) attention to "car." Generally, that just means keeping an eye on the fuel gauge. Right now, however, we've got a slow leak in one of our tires. It's not enough to ever go flat, but it does mean we need to add air to it once or twice a month.

Until this week, that was still the husband's territory. On Thursday, after dropping the kiddo off at her art camp, the low tire pressure light came on. Normally, I would have just texted the Husband and let him deal with it. But, he was at a work thing all week. Since I wanted to drive out to a CostCo, I knew that I should fill the tire. This terrified me. All "car" things give me anxiety. But, I tracked down the air pump we have, read the directions, and put air in the tire. Took 10 minutes. I then texted my husband this GIF because it was an accurate depiction of the pride I had in myself. 

I even put gas in the tank on my drive home from CostCo.

​But that's as far as I'll go. "Car" is still his territory.

What do you not make mental space for?

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I’m about halfway through Chasm. The plot is slower than I anticipated. In some ways, it feels like the author is forcing a book two. It’s fine overall, but I’m kind of disappointed given how much I enjoyed the first book. It doesn’t help that one of the more interesting characters has disappeared for the last few chapters.

*Books shared here are affiliate links for Bookshop.org

• This read on old church cookbooks is accurate. [The Takeout]

• Look at Merriam-Webster stirring the pot. [Sports Illustrated]

• How to make a bingo card for something you are dreading. [Syllabus Project]

• This list of foods to try in every state probably has some hot takes. [The Discoverer]

• Hold the microphone closer. [The Atlantic - gift link]

• Voices from Gaza. [The Daily] (*Note: Content is intense.)

• The 15-minute city is not a conspiracy. It's a climate change solution. [Up First]

• Modern day art restorers shudder. [Atlas Obscura]

• All the reasons to love your library. [Life Kit]

• A deep discussion on reading romance. [Hot and Bothered]

• This story about a debut album's cover art is just delightful. [99% Invisible]

• A surprising amount of labor goes into capturing economic data. [Planet Money]

• That's some beautiful bread. [@bishulimschool]

• This is way more work than I would ever put into making a coffee, but it was soothing to watch. [@alex.altitudecoffee]

• Wow. This took some time to make. [@josephsmachines]

• Since I was solo parenting for most of the week, I wanted to watch a show that I didn't need to pay attention to. I ended up rewatching Parks & Recreation from the pilot episode. It's just as good, possibly better, the second time around. The cast of characters work so well together and the over-the-top-ness was just a delight at the end of each day. [Peacock]

• I tried out a new recipe this week, BBQ chicken quesadillas. We cooked the chicken in the sous vide and then shredded it to mix with the BBQ sauce. This dish is a few more steps than our normal meals, but the results were tasty. I topped mine with some store bought guacamole. [WaPo - gift link]

• I made coconut curry chickpeas for my lunch meal prep. I picked this recipe to use up the kale and various greens we had hanging out in our produce drawer. Since I just dumped them all in, the ratio of sauce to "stuff" was off, but it was still tasty. I wish I had used a hotter curry power. The sauce was mild and a touch lacking in flavor. It was still worth dipping some naan in though. [Budget Bytes]

• I tossed together a tofu stir fry with some Thai chili sauce this week. I wanted a more hands off way to cook the tofu and ended up baking it. I am never going back to pan frying! It was so much easier and the result was crispier. Kiddo wasn't a fan, but that just meant I had leftovers to eat the next day. Yum! [Cookie + Kate]

I have seen this stoop in person (in the daytime) and it’s just as glorious as you’d think. [WaPo - gift link]

If you care at all about digital privacy, I highly recommend The Atlantic’s Guide to Privacy. This resource walks you through all the ins and outs of technology - what it tracks, what is stores, and what you can do about it.

I need to work on the final edits for the book chapter I have due at the end of the month. It’s just going to be a lot of accepting track changes, but I’m still not looking forward to it.