🎯 I feel like emotional support dogs were a concept invented by someone who just really liked seeing dogs in vests. “I must bring Rufus into this restaurant. He is crucial to my mental health. Also, [sotto voce] doesn’t he look adorable?”

🎯 "I'm just playing devil's advocate." So you're cosplaying as a lawyer, the most hated profession, and your client is Satan. Cool move.

🎯 Me: "The Emperor has no clothes."
Them: "Whatever. You clearly have Emperor Derangement Syndrome."

📺 I did a whole set of jokes about the conflict in Israel/Gaza. Yes, totally too soon. But look, I’m a comedian and a Jew so this is how I process.

Admittedly, some of the jokes fell flat. But look, my dad’s Israeli and my mom’s Russian so obviously I LOVE TO BOMB.

Some comments from YouTube so ya don’t think I’m a complete schmuck:

"this set was great, I loved the crowd's anxiety!” • "Solid material, solid delivery, solid attitude towards the tension—great comedianship, well done" • "Amazing, you had the balls to do this" • "You did great! I can imagine the tension, but you walked the line like a good fence jumper" • "The most stereotypically Jewish way to process the situation I can think of. Well done sir, I salute you."

FYI the rest of this Rubesletter is free of any Israel/Gaza talk. I need a break (and perhaps you do too). Read last week’s edition for my thoughts.

🎯 Swifties decode numbers and symbols like some feminist Gen Z version of QAnon.

📺 Taylor Swift or Beyoncé?

🎯 The most human thing ever is capturing an animal, putting it in a crate, training it by withholding/giving it food, and then, when it obeys commands, referring to it as "man's best friend."

🎯 I always get the unripe avocados because they're a dollar cheaper. And then I forget about 'em and wind up with brown avocados. Basically, I constantly guacblock myself.

🗯 Kurt Vonnegut on reading and meditation:

“I believe that reading and writing are the most nourishing forms of meditation anyone has so far found. By reading the writings of the most interesting minds in history, we meditate with our own minds and theirs as well. This to me is a miracle.”

🎯 No one hates the NY Times more than people who constantly read the NY Times. It is the Howard Stern Show of journalism.

🎯 Can't believe this is how I find out that women in neckwear is now en vogue…

…I hereby dub this look "Colonel Sanders chic."

🎯 Apple split up with Jon Stewart over “creative disagreements” (i.e. episodes about China and AI). Feels like a canary in the coal mine about what happens when just a few multinational megacorps control all our information flow. It’ll likely be a world of subtle censorship and notes like “We’d prefer if you not mention that thing about China.” Also, the phrase "creative disagreements" was doing a LOT of work during all this…"I have an issue with that oppressive authoritarian regime and would like to go after it." "Well, this is where we disagree with you creatively." OK!

🗯 Writer Riva Tez on creativity and chaos:

"Something I notice when I watch people trying to think creatively is this huge psychological barrier against allowing any form of chaos to seep in. Maybe creativity needs you to be at least receptive to a little bit of chaos, even if the chaos never comes?"

🎯 Nothing is more beta than being obsessed with alphaness.

🎯 Awkward and uncomfortable is the new interesting and viral.

📺 On fake smiles in photos. Bonus footage from “Matt Ruby: Substance.”

🃏 I post clips of my standup (and more) at Instagram, TikTok, Threads, and YouTube.

🎯 The most amazing thing we've learned in the past decade is how much our entire democracy is built upon norms and customs as opposed to actual laws and rules.

🎯 Software didn't eat the world, the subscription model did.

🎯 5'3" women love to hang out with each other. Must be nice to see eye to eye on things.

🎧 Subscribe to my podcast. New ep being edited now out that’s all about the tragic events in Israel/Gaza. Should be up soon.

Kind of a Lot with Matt Ruby Stereoactive Media 30 episodes

🎯 At some point, we're gonna have to realize the incentives of social media have created a race to the bottom of our collective psyche. We've facilitated a version of predatory capitalism where the most profitable outcome is tribal warfare.

🎯 The "too close" Hall of Fame:

• gold star family vs. gold star lesbian

• MS vs. MS-13

• IUD vs. IED

• Rabbit vibrator vs. Rabbit corkscrew

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🎯 As long as we’re mad about pronouns, go to hell with that “royal we” stuff.

🎯 A great example of the hubris of youth is people who include their year of birth in their email address (e.g. jordanl1998@gmail.com). Every time I see it I think, "Oh man, you're totally gonna regret that one day."

🃏 Sign up for my other newsletter that’s all about standup: Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian. Upcoming posts there…

🎯 When you send a text and get a homework assignment in return…

Up ahead: How indie rockers and conspiracy theorists are alike, health care in America, old homophobes, intimacy, Watson X AI, college admissions, women's fashion, X's UI, ChatGPT on South Park, and more...