The Temperance tarot card is all about balance and moderation. It is the card of Temperance, representing the virtue of self-control. And this is the perfect card when it comes to finding the middle ground between people-pleasing and selfishness.

This card reminds you to find a balance between your desires and the needs of others. Refrain from overindulging, which can lead to problems.

However, the Temperance tarot card can also represent harmony and cooperation. 

You can work with others more effectively and efficiently when in balance. Conversely, when you are out of balance, it can lead to conflict and disharmony.

Temperance can be traced back to the early 15th century when it first appeared in Europe. It is believed that the temperance tarot card was created to teach people about the importance of moderation in all aspects of their lives.

 The Temperance tarot card has undergone many changes over the centuries, but its meaning remains unchanged. Today, it is still used to help people achieve balance.

If you look at the card in the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, you will see that Temperance is the angel that represents masculinity and femininity, and the angel wears a light blue robe in color. 

The robe is triangular and enclosed with a square in the center. The triangle represents humans, and the square represents the earth and the laws that come with it.

You can see that the angel has one foot on the ground for grounding and another foot in the water for going with the flow. 

The angel takes two cups and pours water between them, representing the ebb and flow of life. The Temperance tarot card is also one of the four cardinal virtues: justice, prudence, and fortitude.

In addition, the temperance tarot card is often associated with the astrological sign of Sagittarius, known for its spiritual qualities.

Therefore, the Temperance tarot card can be interpreted differently, but its overall message is always the same: moderation is key.

That applies to so many things in life, especially when you go from being an extreme people-pleaser to only focusing on your needs. 

The Balance Between People-Pleasing and Selfishness Can be Hard to Find

It is a struggle to swing from the extreme of echoism to focusing on yourself too much to the point of being intolerant of others.

The best thing you can do is find a balance between both. I have struggled with going from one extreme, where I was a pathological people-pleaser, to being too selfish, as I have mastered boundary-setting too much.

Neither extreme is good, so you want to settle within a balance regarding anything.

I went from going out of my way to make others happy so they could approve of me and like me to not caring about anyone's feelings as long as my wants were fulfilled.

It takes work to find that healthy balance between both.

I Went From Wanting to Make Others Happy Too Only Making Myself Happy

I found myself struggling with extreme selfishness during the thick of the pandemic.

This happened even before the time I had made that painful realization about how much trauma I had kept deep in my psyche.

However, when the government started locking everything down, I resented it.

Sometimes, I yelled, "I am so sick of making sacrifices for everyone else." I even went as far as not even caring if I was a carrier of the virus being around someone vulnerable.

Now, I did not purposely go and infect others. I wore a mask, and I still did what I needed to do to stay safe and not to put others in harm's way.

All I wanted was to not stay at home, and I did not stay at home. I would get takeout and go anywhere open because I did not want to stay home.

I remember blabbing it on Facebook, and I was chastised for it. I remember clapping back and saying, "I don't care; all I have done in life is make sacrifices for others, and I am done with that." Looking back, that was pretty selfish of me.

I admit I still have my moments where I struggle with it, but I take the time to reflect if I know I am being unreasonable.

I Got to a Point Where I Hated Making Compromises

After being an extreme people-pleaser for so long, I got fed up with accommodating others, and there was a time when I resented making compromises.

If I felt coerced into it, I would make it known that I resented it and always send reminders of how they owed me if I had to compromise for someone to do something.

I don't find myself in positions where I have to make compromises that will make me resentful anymore.

If I struggle with it now, it usually involves my husband. I don't care for his family all that much.

I will always remind him that he owes me if I have to attend an event involving them. It has gotten to a point where he asks very little of me anyway.

I will admit it. I do not like being married anymore. My husband and I have also become highly incompatible but for financial reasons (and he fears abandonment, which would make a separation extremely difficult with him).

However, he does respect my need to be alone and do my thing, and I am grateful for that.

He could easily complain about how I don't spend much time with him, but he doesn't.

However, I also know that part of this reason is that since I have given way too much of myself for decades, I owe myself the same care and devotion I gave others.

While I realize that I still need to give of myself sometimes, the important reminder is to ensure that it does not impede my boundaries if I compromise.

And I have gotten better at finding that balance between people-pleasing and self-centredness. However, it is a constant battle.

I Have to Reflect on My Motivations Constantly

If I am in a situation where I find myself overly resentful of making a compromise, I have to reflect on why.

If I want to get along with others, I must make accommodations. The first thing I need to examine is whether asking someone to do something or being expected to do something I am not keen on impedes my boundaries. 

If the answer is yes, I have every right to say "no." However, if not, it is a matter of picking my battles and voicing my expectations if I make an accommodation I am not keen on making.

I Have to Be Self-Aware How My Actions Could Impact Others

I hurt myself badly by neglecting my needs for so long to make accommodations for others to gain their approval for decades.

Unsurprisingly, I would reach a point where I stopped caring about how my actions would impact others.

However, if I find myself unreasonably inflexible about accommodating others, I need to step back and see how only prioritizing my needs could impact others.

And since I was in my highly selfish phase during the pandemic, I would not have stopped to consider how going out could have potentially put others at risk.

Even though I stayed away and wore my mask, my attitude about the situation was wrong.

It is a challenging balance between being overly self-centered and being too much of a people-pleaser.

However, I am better at finding that balance nowadays than I was several years ago during the thick pandemic. Now, let’s discuss the cards that are esoterically related to Temperance. 

Tarot Cards Esoterically Related to Temperance

Sagittarius rules Temperance, Jupiter rules that sign, and the Wheel of Fortune. The Wheel of Fortune shows life's extremes, and Temperance is all about creating balance within those extremes.

Temperance is also the 14th card, and 14/5 is all about the lesson when it comes to managing life during chaotic times. The Hierophant is the 5th card, and five in numerology is about changes.

The Hierophant teaches you how to navigate life during changes by listening to experts and doing what they say. The Hierophant teaches you the things that the Temperance represents. 

Temperance is also esoterically related to the Eight of Wands (Mercury in Sagittarius), Nine of Wands (Moon in Sagittarius), and Ten of Wands (Saturn in Sagittarius). 

The Eight of Wands represents swift action, movement, and progress. It signifies a burst of energy and the need to take decisive action.

Esoterically, the Eight of Wands can be seen as the application of Temperance's balanced energy in a focused and dynamic way. It suggests the ability to channel one's energy effectively and accomplish tasks with speed and efficiency.

The Nine of Wands represents resilience, perseverance, and determination. It signifies the need to stay strong and continue pushing forward despite challenges and obstacles.

Esoterically, the Nine of Wands can be seen as Temperance's influence in maintaining inner balance and resilience during difficult times. It suggests the ability to draw upon one's inner strength and perseverance to overcome adversity.

The Ten of Wands represents burden, responsibility, and completion. It signifies the need to take on a heavy load or responsibility and see it through.

Esoterically, the Ten of Wands can be seen as Temperance's reminder to find balance and avoid overextending oneself. It suggests the importance of managing one's responsibilities and commitments balanced and sustainably.

In summary, Temperance's esoteric connection to the Eight, Nine, and Ten of Wands lies in its influence of balance, moderation, and adaptability in various aspects of action, resilience, and responsibility. 

Next week, I will review the Devil and what it represents in my world or my opinion.