The Tower tarot card is one of the most well-known and widely recognized. It is often associated with significant life changes, upheaval, and chaos.

The Tower itself symbolizes strength and stability and destruction and chaos. This card can represent positive and negative aspects of change, depending on the context in which it is drawn. The associated planet with this card is Mars.

The Tower first appeared in tarot decks in the 15th century and has been a part of tarot ever since. It is usually depicted as a tall, imposing structure with a few people falling from the top.

This image is often interpreted as symbolizing the dangers of ambition or hubris.

That is in almost all tarot decks, but with the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, the Tower tarot card shows the lightning striking the Tower on top of the mountain, and two people jump from the windows as their heads come out first, stretching their arms.

The Tower is a substantial building, but since it was built on an unstable foundation, one lightning bolt is enough to take it down, which means that the goals you were setting were not made for legitimate reasons.

The lightning is the thing that causes you to become enlightened, which is what it symbolizes on this card.

But when you think about the Tower, you will also think about something unexpected that can shake you up to the core.

Think about COVID-19. In 2019, no one would have ever imagined that 2020 would be a Tower year.

Instead, people went about their business and assumed things would keep going as they were until they no longer could after the pandemic declaration.

Everyone has their Tower moments, as I have had many. If I talked about all of my Tower moments, there would be no end.

Let's talk about one in particular that was recent enough about my health: how I discovered I am indeed diabetic.

My Weight Struggles For Decades Leaning Towards My Tower Moment

I have said this millions of times. I have struggled with my weight since I hit puberty at 11.

Before that, I was usually average in weight. But I ballooned significantly by the time I turned 13, and I was also full of acne (I have PCOS, and it was not diagnosed until much later).

Add that to my lack of social skills due to my being neurodivergent.

Even though I did not know it at the time, I was the ultimate bullying target. Grades eight and nine, in particular, were utter hell for me as those years were when I was mercilessly tormented.

I have developed C-PTSD from it, but that was not my only cause. My struggles with depression also stem from that.

Still, I also believe that the depression is genetic or embedded in my DNA since my paternal grandparents were Holocaust survivors (my father struggles with depression, too).

Anyway, I went on my first diet at 15, and in grade 10, the bullying started to die down, but I was never truly accepted by others. I was a hardcore people-pleaser anyway because I died to be accepted.

That did not turn out too well. I was falling well into diet culture, and I admitted I became fatphobic then (yes, I will admit it: I fat-shamed others who were larger than me when it was apparent I was a stupid and insecure teenager).

Over the years, I did stop (though I hate the Fat Liberation Movement, it has nothing to do with the size of those who are part of it. It is all about their toxic messages and misinformation).

Anyway, since I was 15, I yo’yo'ed with my weight. I would gain about 30 to 50 lbs over and over again.

I thought I was pregnant when I was 30, and I got scared. Even though my son had not been diagnosed with autism at that time, I knew something was not right with him as he was not hitting milestones, and the last thing I could handle was another child.

I went to my OBGYN and said I wanted to have a tubal ligation. He told me before even considering operating on me, I had to lose a considerable amount of weight.

So that was when I joined Jenny Craig (now defunct). I lost 56 lbs and had my tubal ligation when I had lost 30 lbs. I looked terrific, but once my son was diagnosed with autism, the weight started creeping back.

Over the years, I kept yo-yo'ing 30 lbs or so while barely keeping my head above water, in addition to dealing with the lack of support I desperately needed.

I hit rock bottom when I gained over 100 lbs and ended up 300 lbs. I was consuming who knows how many calories, but my mental health was in dangerous shape, and who knows how much cortisol was shooting through my system.

My son needed to go, and he moved to a therapeutic residence as I could no longer help him. Those who have never been in my shoes cannot get it, and I appreciate those who empathize.

Anyway, after four months of decompressing, I knew it was time to lose the weight and a lot of it. I was struggling with sleep apnea, which was frightening. I could barely walk up the stairs in one piece without needing to stop.

My back hurt all of the time. I slapped myself on 1500 calories, and the weight was falling off. (That was probably dumb, as there was too much of a deficit based on what I was likely consuming.)

About nine months later, I was in good shape. Strangers suddenly opened doors to me, and customer service was more eager to help me.

I wondered why everyone was so friendly to me, and then it dawned on me: Society likes thinner people, which is wrong (the only statement I will ever agree with the Fat Liberation Movement).

That all ended when the pandemic hit, as I regained much of that weight. Between 2021 and 2022, I was yo-yoing 30 lbs again.

Suddenly, in late 2022, everyone discussed weight loss drugs such as Ozempic. My parents watched a 60-minute episode about it, and my mother told me to look into it in early 2023.

I did. I went to my doctor (as I have not had a checkup since 2019 due to the pandemic).

I asked my doctor about Ozempic, and he said that he could only prescribe it to me if I were diabetic, as insurance would not cover it for obesity alone. I had no reason to think I was, so I was bummed.

He ordered me to have bloodwork and to come back on a morning when fasting. So I did that.

However, I did not think I was at all diabetic because I did not keep having to urinate all the time. I was not excessively thirsty. But I went for the bloodwork anyway and was well overdue for a check-up.

But I assumed there were no issues, so I would not get the Ozempic until... my doctor called me and asked me to come in to discuss my blood sugar and A1C. There was my Tower moment. I learned that morning that I was diabetic.

My Recent Tower Health Moment: Learning I Am Diabetic

The bad news is I am diabetic. The good news is I became eligible for Ozempic. But still, I am diabetic, and my life changed that morning when I got the news forever.

I am trying to think about how it could have happened (well, genetics, as my father is). Many people who were hundreds of pounds overweight were not diabetic, and when I was diagnosed, I was not at my highest weight.

However, let's face facts. I have PCOS, as that alone increases my chances of it.

I have yo'yo'ed with my weight for decades and also held in so much stress thanks to my extreme people-pleasing and caregiver burnout, which shot up my cortisol levels.

Just because I did not have the telltale symptoms of diabetes meant nothing.

However, I am down 50 lbs (I still have 30 lbs to go). I cannot afford to yo'yo anymore, and I have to stay on Ozempic and Metformin, though I am careful with my diet.

Ozempic has been an excellent tool for me, and I no longer use food as an emotional tool. I am fortunate not to have had harmful side effects other than heartburn and constipation with it.

My numbers are good now, and even if I keep taking care of myself and end up in remission, I will still always be diabetic. I will keep my eyesight and limbs, which is a big deal.

But it still sucks that I am diabetic and learning that I was my most recent Tower moment.

I will no longer be adding esoteric relations to my tarot pieces. I am just putting in a lot of extra work for no interest.

If you want to keep seeing it, I will do it again and paywall it. For now, that is it, and I will go over the Star next week and how it relates to something important to me.