Polls? Nah. Standup comedy is how I learn what Americans truly care about.

Via comedy, I knew 3 years ago voters' top issue was Biden's age. Every single show had some comic cracking a joke about him being senile.

In fact, here’s a clip – starting at 1:08:15 – from my Substance special’s sober set where I talk about death, senility, and the President.

Yet it took years for the media to catch up that Americans all saw a ☠️ man walking.

And that’s why I can also tell you the top issue for Americans right now: It’s how every CVS and Walgreen’s is locking up normal items behind glass. It is perceived as a universal symbol of our country’s decline. “I gotta get some guy to unlock THE DEODORANT!? Next, they’ll…”

Been hearing this premise everywhere. And if dozens of comics have jokes (that work) about the same topic, it's a sign the audience is all thinking the same thing.

I guess that makes me realize how much standup is like polling. Every night, us comedians go out and test hypotheses with random “focus groups” in order to determine the truth.

Laughter is a primal response that tells you a lot about where folks are at in a reptilian way. It’s true because it’s funny.

All politics is loco

Big gathering where you just wanna shut up, put on a playlist, and gently sway to your fave jams? Honestly, I’ve never related to Trump more.

mattrubycomedy

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Also, that audience watching Trump just sway to music for 30 minutes makes sense to me 'cuz I've seen a lot of comedy crowds show up to see podcasters/TikTok “comedians” not 'cuz they enjoy the act, but merely because they wanna be in the same room as the person and take a selfie afterwards. Parasocialism in action.

Meanwhile, in Kamaland: "My platform is crypto and weed for black men" sounds like a joke and yet...

Sigh. I hate this election. I hate this campaign. And the thing I hate most of all is that now I have to contribute money to it.

Btw, I don’t even know whom the Libertarian candidate is (and no, I won’t Google it.) Libertarianism, skateboarding, and Led Zeppelin have something in common: They are loved by 15-23yo men who eventually grow out of it.

Meanwhile, our NYC mayor is a real piece of work:

That hat/reaction provides a good art lesson: When you try to make stuff that pleases everyone, you just wind up pleasing no one.

Are you not entertained?

If I’m pleasing you, consider signing up for the paid plan. You’ll get bonus content too.

Rocketeering 🚀

Elon fanbois were raging this week ‘cuz that rocket got what they all want: It’s mama hugged it when it returned home.

I admit it was cool, but, until I see proof, I’m gonna assume the leaping wacko I see posting on X had little/nothing to do with it.

Every time Elon posts something moronic on X, it makes Bezos seem that much smarter for shutting the f– up. (Related: I respect folks like Bezos, Sade, the Olympics, and Paul Thomas Anderson because they all understand the value of radio silence/going away for a while.)

Steve Jobs, Diddy, and Elon Musk teach us an important lesson: If you're unstable, surrounded by sycophants, and threaten engineers for long enough, they're able to accomplish incredible things you can then take credit for.

Quickies

🎯 Standup comedy is a way of generating passive aggressive income.

🎯 Kinda amazing how every American understands the rules to spinning the wheel on The Price is Right yet has no idea how a Roth IRA or a 401K works. The government should make a game show that teaches us money stuff that actually matters.

🎯 Due to AI, “Promptologist” is gonna be a job title in the future. The past was about having the right answers. The future will be about asking the right questions

🎯 I’m very close to surviving this Moo Deng thing without ever finding out what it actually means which feels like a true trend victory these days.

🎯 I am not a thought leader. I am a thought follower. Wait, no. I am a thot follower.

🎯 "Don't text and drive" seems downright archaic considering half my IG timeline is people filming themselves ranting while driving. That’s the new DUI: Driving Under the Influencer.

🎯 Gen X: I Hate Mondays
Gen Z: The Sunday Scaries

Kinda sums it all up. Gen X is filled with rage, while Gen Z is filled with anxiety.

🎯 Need a name for this genre of social media video that is "woman explaining serious things while also showing off her manicure." Every Elica Le Bon video somehow makes me think about both Iran and this emoji: 💅.

🎯 Went to an event about psychedelics and climate change and kept thinking they're missing out on a golden opportunity for a psych*delics brand endorsed by Greta Thunberg! Not sure if it should be Gretamine or Greta Shroomberg though.

🎯 Speaking of, on Friday, November 8, I’ll be debuting a new doozy of a show in NYC: The Mushroom Diaries - Presented by Comedian Matt Ruby.

Join me for the debut of this George Carlin-meets-Alan Watts immersive journey through the pages of the notebook I keep during psychedelic journeys. Imagine if mushrooms could give a TED Talk. It'll be smart, trippy, funny, and deep – plus there will be photos, video clips, music, and more. Come and get some satisfaction.

🎯 A big mistake people make in life is thinking the starting point is actually the finish line. See: Startups getting funding, athletes getting drafted, and couples getting married. Often, people celebrate victory without clocking they’re really just at the beginning of the race.

🎯 Fans: Desperately crave them/want nothing to do with them!

🎯 Our entire culture has shifted its priority from good to fast.

🎯 I am not clinically depressed. I know because I’ve never been to a clinic. No clinic, no clinical depression!

🎯 A tip for going bicoastal: Get everyone in LA to think you live in NYC and get everyone in NYC to think you live in LA. Then, you're always in demand.

🎯 Me when people do one of those 12-photo carousel posts on Instagram:

Comedy

🃏 Clip: A drunk lesbian was not okay with a recent set of mine at Comedy Cellar…

Some of the comments:

🃏 Jokes: Get ‘em on my social media: Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack Notes.

🃏 NYC weeklies: 1) GOOD EGGS (Mondays) at 7:30pm at NY Comedy Club (Upper West Side). 2) HOT SOUP (Tuesdays) at 10:30pm at Comedy Cellar. 3) GOOD EGGS (Wednesdays) at 8pm at NY Comedy Club (East Village).

🃏 FUNNY HOW: I have another newsletter all about the craft of doing standup. Check it out.

Israel/Palestine

🇮🇱🇵🇸 So much of the debate re: Israel/Palestine depends on when you start/stop the clock. Is it 2,000 years ago? Is it 1948? 1967? 2005? October 7th? Is it right now?

Currently, Israel supporters are trapped in Oct. 7 trauma while Gaza supporters are living a drip-drip-drip of horror. The challenge is seeing how both narratives are true.

Our social media timelines keep failing to recognize the importance of historic timelines. We act like we're debating geography when it's actually chronology.

🇮🇱🇵🇸 Everyone complaining about that CBS/Ta-Nehisi Coates interview seems to be perfectly fine with how much that NY TImes questioner repeatedly pressed JD Vance on Jan 6th. If it's okay for a reporter to interrogate one harshly but not the other, why?

🇮🇱🇵🇸 McCluhan-ish thought: The unsung thing about protests is how many cameras there are at 'em. Everybody that enrages you (or delights you) at one is surrounded by people filming. So much of it is performative clickbait. There is no more IRL anymore; everything is reality TV now.

🇮🇱🇵🇸 Sin War = file under “last name as destiny.” Also: Good riddance.

MMDS

Lotta talk from the right about TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). But Trump actually is a con man and calling it out just means you notice the truth. Might as well call it Truth Derangement Syndrome.

See: Snoop 👇

In fact, I’d argue the "derangement" folks suffer from the most these days is MMDS (Mainstream Media Derangement Syndrome). I’m talking about the incessant attacks on “legacy” media even though it’s crumbling/largely ignored.

Politicians are now going on pods like Schulz, Theo, and Call Her Daddy instead of 60 Minutes. Millions more watch Rogan than Colbert now. And there are only a couple of newspapers people even read anymore.

So we should all realize "alternative" media (e.g. podcasts/YouTube/Substack) is the mainstream now. I won’t hold my breath, though. “The mainstream media” is the perfect boogeyman for grifters and folks who think “research” is done on YouTube.

Bye for now,
Matt