Two things I’ve been jonesing for the internet to deliver:

1. sports lip reading - a lip reader that tells you what athletes are saying

2. pundit accountability - a place to see the past prediction hit/miss rate of supposed “experts”

Re: the first one, that’s why I’ve really been enjoying Jomboy breaking down MLB plays. His vids offer a wonderful combo of baseball knowledge, video editing skills, and lip reading. For example:

As for #2, no such luck on “rating the predictors.” We still have tons of “experts” running around giving prophecies on stocks, elections, betting, and tech with zero accountability when they’re off base. For a bunch of stats nerds, it’s weird that we never get to see them ranked according to win/loss %.

The tech media is especially awful at this. In large part, that’s because memory is the enemy of consumerism. Allow me to quote myself:

I recall when they said I’d wear Google Glass, drink Soylent, and watch Quibi. Do you remember the Zune, Amazon Fire Phone, and Initial Coin Offerings? I do and it’s a problem. Things like that are supposed to evaporate from my mind, but I forgot to have amnesia…

Over and over, the flavor-of-the-month comes in like a lion and leaves like, well, a worthless lion. The media chorus promises “this will be huge,” yet no one takes any blame when it fails to sustain. By then, we’re on to CBD drinks or whatever else they tell us is next. 

All this is to say: I want someone to own up to what a scam NFTs were.

(You remember NFTs, right? There was Beeple selling his NFT artwork for $69.3 million, the Clubhouse (!) discussions about NFTs, the NYT column about NFTs – which then sold for $560,000 as an NFT, Gary Vee going hard in the paint on ‘em, and tons of “Why NFT's are the future of the world” articles.)

How’s that working out? A: Nearly all of the NFTs on the market today are worthless.

Yet somehow we've memory holed all that endless pimping and shilling. There’s no place for accountability in our on-to-the-next swipe culture. There’s zero comeuppance for the press folks who published those “it’s so revolutionary” takes. At least gimme a Gary Vee interview where he tells us the NFT market will rebound in 2028 and then they’ll really “nuke it” or whatever.

What can I say? I’m a fan of comeuppance. I crave accountability. Otherwise, we're just gonna wind up doing it all over again with whatever BS "early adopter" "next generation" snake oil Big Tech tries to sell us next.

[Puts on VR goggles 🥽 and walks away.]

Quickies

🎯 Shoutout to the versatility of the word "laid." From the highs of getting laid to the lows of being laid off to the one James song anyone knows, laid is there for you!

🎯 I wonder if The Jackal ever had impostor syndrome. “I feel like everyone can tell this passport is fake. And the tint on this mustache is totally off. I'm a mere impostor of an impostor.”

🎯 "The best SNL cast was when I was in high school" is the "Make America Great Again" of entertainment takes.

🎯 Elon on Twitter is the same vibe as a comedy show producer who gives himself the longest set even though everyone else on the bill is funnier. Only diff is he spent $44 billion for the stage time.

🎯 Fame is wealth for dumb people.

🎯 Cleveland Browns were talking like Deshaun was Seal Team 6 risking his life to kill Osama when actually he's just a Diddy-level creep getting a $230M guaranteed contract to be the worst in the league at his position.

🎯 "Oh, just one more thing"
-Columbo and Steve Jobs

🎯 I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by the algorithm.

🎯 From the amount of hipster eyewear seen there, it feels like MSNBC is sponsored by Warby Parker.

🎯 This bit about DEI at U of Michigan really blew me away. An institution of higher learning condemning "worship of the written word." Um, isn't that, like, the entire purpose of a university?

🎯 The NBA now stands for Nepo Baby Association.

🎯 Everybody who moves to NYC loses at least 10 lbs. It’s like geographic Ozempic.

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Politics

🐘🫏 All politics is loco.

🐘🫏 "I call it the weave."
-Me explaining to the police officer who pulled me over why I can't walk in a straight line

🐘🫏 Re: Arnold Palmer…While we're on the subject, I've also heard that Ben Hogan had extremely hairy nipples.

🐘🫏 I feel like we’re building up to a finale-rally where the weave resolves and we finally find out about the size of Hannibal Lecter's schlong: "This man was clever and hungry, and I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other inmates at the insane asylum..."

🐘🫏 Can't comprehend all the hatred for immigrants – they're the only people left in America who don't wanna work remote anymore. It's like the rest of the car heckling the engine: "We gotta stop this motor!" "Um, you're a cup holder. Be thankful you're along for the ride."

🐘🫏 What the hell happened to permission slips? When I was a kid, I couldn't go to a museum without getting my mom's signature first. Now they're chopping off 🍆's during recess!?

🐘🫏 I love whenever real life conquers the timeline. It’s so delightful when there’s a true metric of victory: comedy, sports, elections, courtrooms, etc. Arenas where opinion doesn’t really matter in the end. Everyone can talk all they want, but someone can just mic drop it by replying, “Scoreboard!” It’s so damn refreshing amidst the haze of take culture.

🐘🫏 So tech billionaires are funding the GOP now, eh? Between obsequious shilling for Trump, ruining a generation of children, and making AI that may destroy the world, I'd like to congratulate Big Tech on its heel turn. Unbelievably, it's somehow managed to make going into finance seem like the more ethical choice.

🐘🫏 You're only allowed to blame Kamala for the past 4 years if you also give Mike Pence credit for everything you liked from 2016-2020.

🐘🫏 So lemme get this straight…

• Russia pays podcasters

• Saudi Arabia pays golfers

• Turkey pays the NYC mayor

• Qatar pays professors

Pretty sure this is the future. All our celebs/influencers will be sponsored by foreign countries. It's the OnlyFans-ification of society. “The world is flat” is coming for us all.

🐘🫏 People compare Trump to pro wrestling a lot. But there's a big difference: People who love pro wrestling know it's fake.

Comedy

🃏 Jokes: Get ‘em on my social media: Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack Notes.

🃏 NYC weeklies: 1) GOOD EGGS (Mondays) at 7:30pm at NY Comedy Club (Upper West Side). 2) HOT SOUP (Tuesdays) at 10:30pm at Comedy Cellar. 3) GOOD EGGS (Wednesdays) at 8pm at NY Comedy Club (East Village).

mattrubycomedy

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🃏 Watch my doc/special “Substance” yet? It’s way better than “The Substance.” Here’s an outtake where I explain NYC, rock ‘n roll, and scenius.

🃏 FUNNY HOW: I have another newsletter all about the craft of doing standup. Check it out.

Working Methods

Check out my new newsletter: Working Methods. It features words of wisdom for creatives from art legends 3x/week. Coming soon there: Keith Richards, Judd Apatow, Billy Wilder, Nail Gaiman, and more!

Working Methods Advice from legendary artists to kickstart your creative process. Curated by Matt Ruby. By Matt Ruby

Trippy stuff

🍄 Throwing a party for Burning Man people? Be sure to include the following...

• A free expression ecstatic spiral dancer

• Japanese shibari rope demonstration

• Burlesque aerial performer in a floating hula hoop

• Ma'amethyst, a feminist root chakra projection installation

• DJ from a Slavic country no one's heard of before

• Ket@mine selfie booth

🍄 Capitalism Shaman™️ Lonnie Dama made a special appearance last week and explained how he practices ethical non-morality:

🍄 Friday, November 8 in NYC: The Mushroom Diaries - Presented by Comedian Matt Ruby

Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow! Join me for the debut of this George Carlin-meets-Alan Watts immersive journey through the pages of the notebook I keep during shrm journeys. Imagine if mushrooms could give a TED Talk. It'll be smart, trippy, funny, and deep – plus there will be photos, video clips, music, and more. Come and get some satisfaction.

🍄 Early warning: Friday, November 22 in Brooklyn: Misguided Meditation with Matt Ruby (ticket link coming soon)

5-spotted

🗯️ Liz Slade on streaming’s next-film-up mentality:

I’ve never finished a film and *immediately* thought what will I watch now? I loathe how streaming services won’t let you just sit with the ending and the music and credits and reflect on what you just watched, they’re just always ramming the next ‘content’ down your throat.

🗯️ Ted Gioia asks, "Are Visionary Artists Just Mentally Ill?"

If [William] Blake had been born 200 years earlier, he would have been celebrated as a seer or saint or shaman. If he were born 200 years later, he would have been prescribed drugs to treat his schizophrenia.

🗯️ Psychologist Carl Rogers on letting people be (from his book “A Way of Being”): 

One of the most satisfying feelings I know — and also one of the most growth-promoting experiences for the other person — comes from my appreciating this individual in the same way that I appreciate a sunset. People are just as wonderful as sunsets if I can let them be. In fact, perhaps the reason we can truly appreciate a sunset is that we cannot control it. When I look at a sunset as I did the other evening, I don’t find myself saying, ‘Soften the orange a little on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more pink in the cloud color.’ I don’t do that. I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds. I like myself best when I can appreciate my staff member, my son, my daughter, my grandchildren, in this same way.

🗯️ A tip from Adam Savage on where to store infrequently used tools:

“‘If I didn’t have it right now, where would I look for it?’ And that’s where he stashes it. He tries to not get clever, not overthink it, but rather, he goes with the first place that pops to mind.”

🗯️ Joan Westenberg on the downfall of Twitter:

Twitter is literally just 48 crypto dudes in matching Temu aviators paying $8 a month to LARP as ‘thought leaders’ in the comments of a Burger King promo

Thanks for reading!

-Matt