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Friendsgiving emerged more than 15 years ago as a kind of millennial-inspired replacement to the more traditional, and sometimes more fraught, family Thanksgiving dinner.

Friendsgiving is a party, rather than an obligation, with like-minded humans you would actually choose to spend time with: friends who never mock you for being vegan, the sort of people who bring the good wine, chosen family who will not corner you to insist you share your feelings on the president-elect.

Vox senior correspondent Rebecca Jennings took a closer look at this made-up holiday that nonetheless has embedded itself into American culture — so much so that even President Joe Biden and first lady Jill Biden traveled to Virginia for a Friendsgiving for troops last year. 

With Thanksgiving looming and Friendsgiving celebrations taking place all week, Today Explained is revisiting Jennings’s piece on the event’s curious origins and why it has become almost as beloved a tradition as Thanksgiving itself. 

—Lavanya Ramanathan, editor, Today Explained

A Merriam-Webster investigation noted that the first usage of the term “Friendsgiving” in print or online was in 2007, in posts on both Usenet and Twitter — and no, it wasn’t because of Friends, Jennings wrote. 

According to Jennings, Merriam-Webster argued that what shot Friendsgiving into the national consciousness was a 2011 Bailey’s Irish Cream ad campaign and, rather hilariously, an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey that aired that same year, in which Teresa Giudice hosts her own Friendsgiving. 

In 2013, BuzzFeed declared the rules of Friendsgiving, and by 2014, the Washington Post was describing it as something for the lingering “island of misfit toys” who couldn’t or wouldn’t travel the distance to see their families.

Stephanie Coontz, the director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, told Jennings that the rising age at which people get married contributes to friendships playing a more significant role in people’s lives. 

To wit, a Pew survey last year found that more than 60 percent of Americans said that, in general, having close friends is very or extremely important for people to live a fulfilling life. By contrast, only 26 percent said the same about having children, and only 23 percent said that about being married.

“Many have also seen what happens when people who haven’t maintained those networks get divorced,” Coontz told Jennings. “So they are also conscious of the need to work on their friendships.” That can translate into spending holidays with friends — either instead of with family or in addition to it.

“For the most part, I just think that people have decided to expand their definition of family-like relations,” Coontz said. And there’s an important benefit that comes with Friendsgiving: “No one feels compelled to invite an unsupportive or obnoxious friend the way they often feel pressured to include an unsupportive or obnoxious family member.”

A piece in the Atlantic a few years back suggested that Friendsgiving’s low-key, potluck vibes may actually be a bleak reflection of millennials’ precarious post-recession financial state. In it, Malcolm Harris — author of the book Kids These Days: Human Capital and the Making of Millennials — suggested that Friendsgiving was an expected manifestation of millennial adults’ lower income and living standards compared to previous generations.

“Friendsgiving,” he told the Atlantic, “is a propaganda weapon used by the ruling class to further their plans for wage stagnation.” 

Whatever you think of it, it’s quite possible you’re invited to a Friendsgiving — or hosting one — in the coming days. Check out Rebecca Jennings’s new piece on being a stellar host without going broke, a story on how to enjoy a dinner party if you’re secretly an introvert, and more, below.

FX

Say Nothing’s Gerry Adams disclaimer, explained: Every episode of the new FX/Hulu show about Catholic combatants in the Irish Republican Army ends with a disclaimer: “Gerry Adams has always denied being a member of the IRA or participating in any IRA-related violence.” The problem? If this disclaimer is accurate, it would negate, or at least undermine, nearly everything viewers see in the show. Read more about the history of The Troubles, and Gerry Adams’ political legacy, here.

A look at Trump’s new foreign policy team: President-elect Donald Trump has chosen some new faces for his foreign policy team who seem much less likely to push back against his ideas than his first-term advisers. While it’s unclear what his foreign policy will be like this time around, here’s what we know about Fox News host Pete Hegseth for Secretary of Defense, Sen. Marco Rubio for Secretary of State, and other picks.

Why it’s still so hard to breathe in India and Pakistan: Residents report constant fevers, coughs, and headaches from air pollution. For workers who spend their days outdoors, the damage is even higher. Solving the crisis will take years, and it’s likely to get worse before it gets better. But there are lifesaving measures both countries can take now.

Consider putting Chrome on notice: The Department of Justice has asked Google to break up its monopoly, a move that could take years to complete. In the meantime, you can quit Chrome now and loosen Google’s stronghold on your digital life. Plenty of other browser options work just as well — without collecting massive amounts of your data in the process.

Jussie Smollett’s conviction has been overturned: The disgraced actor was convicted in 2021 of staging a hoax hate crime attack on himself and lying to police. If you need a refresher on this controversial case, you can read our reporting here.

Ground beef recall continues: 167,000 pounds of fresh and frozen ground beef products have been recalled over possible E. coli contamination. The products are contaminated by the same E.coli strain found in the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder recall last month. [NBC News]

NYC cracks down on puppy mills: The New York City Council has passed a bill that will prohibit the sale of dogs and cats in retail stores as well as residential buildings, bodegas, and other unlicensed facilities. California, Maryland, and Illinois have also passed similar laws. [Gothamist]

Andy Soloman/UCG/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

That’s how much red meat and poultry the average American consumes in a year, according to a 2022 US Department of Agriculture report. They also consume around 280 eggs, 20.5 pounds of fish, and 667 pounds of dairy yearly — some of the highest rates of animal product consumption in the world. 

But these statistics don’t tell us enough about the diverse range of dietary habits among 335 million Americans, nor about how many people swear off meat and other animal products altogether. Surveys on vegetarianism and meat consumption are “notoriously unreliable,” but there’s a growing chasm between those who consume meat and those who are consuming less of it. You can read more about those findings here.

 Jeffrey Greenberg/Education Images/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

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Today’s edition was produced and edited by senior editor Lavanya Ramanathan, with contributions from staff editor Melinda Fakuade. We'll see you tomorrow!

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