This is the Sunday Edition of Paging Dr. Lesbian. If you like this type of thing, subscribe, and share it with your friends. Upgrade your subscription for more, including weekly dispatches from the lesbian internet, monthly playlists, and a free sticker.

2025 is here! I started Paging Dr. Lesbian exactly four years ago, so today we’re celebrating that milestone. If you’ve been with me all along – thank you! And if you’re new here, welcome to the club. I asked you all to send in questions for Dr. Lesbian (me), and I received some interesting inquiries. As always, feel free to leave a note in the comments section – I love hearing from you. Three cheers to the new year. 🍾

Favourite holiday traditions? (Year-round if you like!)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I have my own traditions involving watching specific TV episodes. My favorite Buffy episode on my birthday, one of the Halloween Buffy episodes for Halloween, The X-Files Christmas special with Lily Tomlin and Ed Asner for Christmas, a Gilmore Girls “first snow” episode sometime in December…One of the best traditions within my longtime friend group is an event we call the “Hot Tub Solstice Party,” in which we all sit in a wood barrel, wood-fired hot tub right around the winter solstice. I love Christmas but we don’t have any super unique traditions in my family, just nice vibes, usually some skiing (I’m writing this at a ski lodge, in fact).

If you put together a class on the history of lesbian pop culture, what would you have students view, read, and listen too?

This is a great question that I’ve spent some time pondering. For movies, I would start with Mädchen in Uniform, which is from 1931 and often known as the first-ever lesbian film (it’s also just a really cool movie). Then we would move to the 1951 French film Olivia, which is also set at a boarding school and was directed by pioneering French director Jacqueline Audry. Then we would have to go to The Children’s Hour, which I think has been unfairly maligned in recent years. Next would have to be Desert Hearts, and then in the 90s we could tackle New Queer Cinema with Go Fish and The Watermelon Woman. (B. Ruby Rich would provide some good supplementary reading here.) I would probably choose Imagine Me and You to represent the 2000s and the period when lesbian media started gaining mainstream attention.

Obviously, we would have to screen The L Word, which is a good representation of the “lesbian chic” period of the late 90s and 2000s. I know Ellen was canceled for being mean but “The Puppy Episode” (where she comes out) is required viewing anyone interested in lesbian televisual history. I would probably include Buffy in there as well because I’m biased, and maybe the episode of L.A. Law that includes the first lesbian kiss on American broadcast TV. (We would also have to discuss the “lesbian kiss episode,” which became a trope on TV in the 90s.)

This book about queer TV history that I reviewed recently is a good place to start as far as reading material. I also like Ann ​​Ciasullo’s “Making Her (In)visible: Cultural Representations of Lesbianism and the Lesbian Body in the 1990s,” and Rebbeca Beirne’s Lesbians in Television and Text after the Millennium. I already mentioned this earlier but B. Ruby Rich would be a great addition to the syllabus as well. We would also need to tackle lesbian pulp novels, of course, probably reading at least one of them (maybe Beebo Brinker) and then some articles by experts Suzanna Danuta Walters and Yvonne Keller. I would have students revisit The Well of Loneliness as well, perhaps paired with Heather Love’s great book Feeling Backward: Loss and the Politics of Queer History. And then Orlando by Virginia Woolf, her ode to longtime paramour Vita Sackville-West.

For music, we would have to start with some of the early blues and jazz greats, like Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith. We could pair this with Angela Davis’ book Blues Legacies and Black Feminism. Next, we might head on over to the women’s musical festival/lesbian folk era of the 70s, probably starting with Cris Williamson. We would have to get to Tracy Chapman, k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, and the Indigo Girls in the 80s and 90s. We might also have to touch on the t.A.T.u. of it all in the 2000s. Not a great time for us!

I could keep going but I’ll stop there. I think this course might have to be multiple semesters long…

In the present political climate, what is your advice for anyone who might be worrying about what the future will look like in the new year? Favourite marvel piece of content from 2024?

One of my favorite pieces I’ve read about the election is Sarah Thankam Mathew’s piece “every day is all there is,” the title of which is a Joan Didion quote. Mathews suggests that perhaps the way forward is to “take steps as you can to protect yourself and yours if you or they are part of a group under threat by the coming regime, take the space to recharge and center yourself a little, take the time to deliberate and think for yourself, decide how you want to consume information and direct your attention (like actually), be connected to at least one political group, and simply, strengthen your relationships.” I think the point about becoming politically active is key, whether that’s through mutual aid groups or volunteering or finding ways to support your community with others who share your values. It’s not only emotionally useful to feel you’re not alone, it’s also imperative as we resist and rebel against the coming storm.

As far as Marvel goes, there hasn’t been anything this year that I really liked, though I don’t think I saw any of their 2024 films. The best thing to come out of Agatha All Along was a lot of good fanfiction and hordes of people thirsting after Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza on the internet.

What is your favorite piece of lesbian media from 2024? Favorite pop culture moment? Also: what new media do you think was underrated/underappreciated?

I have a hard time responding to questions like this with only one answer. Backspot was one of my favorite movies. It has also been the year of Lily Gladstone, and I really loved Under The Bridge. Katie Gavin’s solo album (which I saw her perform live) was probably my favorite lesbian music moment of the year, in addition to Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck Babe,” of course.

Speaking of Chapell, I love when she yelled at a photographer on the red carpet, and also when Marren Morris released her bisexual song and gave us this quote: “I remember I had been on a date with this girl, and the date went amazing, but I had so many questions for Muna the next day. I truly felt like a student and I was with, like, the Professors of Gay.”

This technically came out in 2023 but I think Scavengers Reign – which features some gays – is one of the most underrated shows in recent memory. Same goes for Somebody Somewhere, which is just pitch-perfect. This came out a few years ago now but I think more people should watch Station Eleven. It’s not gay but you should all check out Nickel Boys if it’s ever playing/streaming near you – it’s a stunning piece of filmmaking.

Favorite lesbian books you think everyone should read?

I think Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg and Zami by Audre Lorde should be required reading. I would also add Patricia Highsmith’s The Price of Salt, aka the book Carol is based on. Also maybe Anne Carson’s translation of Sappho, which is called If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho.

If you could host a dinner party with five guests - dead or alive - who would you invite? And what food would you serve… after dinner you discuss the book you are all reading… what is it?

My guests would be Stevie Nicks, Carrie Fisher, Marlene Deitrich, Audre Lorde, and Katie Gavin. I would serve Samin Nosrat’s buttermilk chicken, Hetty Lui Mckinnon’s olive oil-braised carrots and chickpeas, grilled asparagus with charred lemon and crispy breadcrumbs, and homemade rosemary focaccia. Our assigned reading would be The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert because I love that book, or The Pairing by Casey McQuiston because I really want to know what Marlene and Audre would think about it.

What’s your take on the word bisexual? I read a University of Washington page claiming bisexual means attraction to cisgender men and women and was kinda shocked to see it – wonder if you might help elucidate 🙂

That’s interesting that UW defines it like that, because that doesn’t really fit with how I’ve seen it used in recent years. Most bisexuals I know IRL or follow online are more expansive with their definition of the term, using it to mean “attracted to people of all genders” rather than exclusively cis men and cis women. There was a period maybe a decade ago or so when some people online started claiming that the term bisexual was inherently transphobic, but then there was an even louder chorus of people that said no, that’s not true – just because “bi” technically means two doesn’t mean the term excludes trans or non-binary people. The meaning of words change over time, and I think UW’s definition doesn’t reflect the way a lot of people use or understand the term today.

Is there a book that you’re excited to read in 2025? Doesn’t have to be a new release!

I’ve had Emma Copley Eisenberg’s Housemates on hold at the library for months – will it ever arrive? I also still want to read Simone de Beauvoir’s lost novel Inseparable, which was finally published a few years ago. And Kristen Arnett’s upcoming novel Stop Me If You've Heard This One.

What’s one thing you would change about the past 4 years? And what’s one thing you’ve learned?

I mean, if I was truly omnipotent I would just erase COVID from the world – that seems like a pretty big one. As far as personal choices, I don’t think I would change anything – not to sound too woo-woo but I generally believe everything happens for a reason. I guess I learned that I can survive on my own but that it’s better to be around people, and that I’m good at finding the joy in little things – a good song, a good movie, good food, etc.

Thoughts on Shannon Beveridge and her recent breakup with Becca Moore?

I think all public lesbian breakups are inherently fascinating, and I even wrote a journal article about that topic in grad school. I watched some of Becca’s breakup video and all of Shannon’s podcast episode talking about the response to that video, and what seems different about reactions to this breakup vs Shannon’s previous public breakups is the way people are coming for Becca and saying she’s not actually gay – a clear case of biphobia and/or an anti-femme bias. I’ve always found it very strange when people on the internet have really strong, specific opinions about the intimate dynamics of a couple they’ve never met. Honestly, I think Becca’s video was a good example of how to have mature, adult conversations about hard topics and talk through conflict in an empathetic manner. But people are always going to find things to get mad about.

I watched the hangover the other day and it clicked why you’re called Dr. Lesbian, haha.

A friend of mine also asked me if the name of this newsletter was a Hangover reference, and I promise you it’s not! I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie – I just thought the name sounded funny when I was brainstorming ideas.

What happened to Hayley Kiyoko? I remember back in the good old days when she was breaking out it was about bi women who left their bf’s for her lol. Then the most recent time i heard a song by her it felt like an attempt to change course on that…anyway…i’m just curious

She was on Shannon Beveredige’s podcast recently and she talked about her dating history. She said she’s never dated an out lesbian before and there were basically always issues with girls deciding dating a woman was too scary and going back to their boyfriends. Perhaps it’s the relationship she’s currently in that has influenced the shift you’ve noticed. Though Becca Tilley had never dated a woman before Hayley, as she tells it, that actually wasn’t an issue at all in their relationship. The girl has just had a lot of bad luck! She also noted on the podcast that making music and touring is exhausting and doesn’t really make you any money, which is part of the reason she’s pivoted to writing books (and making movies).

Always looking for more lesbian book recs! I know you did a list recently this year, so maybe your all time faves?

I love Michelle Hart’s We Do What We Do In The Dark and K. Patrick’s Mrs. S, which both take on somewhat taboo subjects with really unique voices and styles. I already mentioned a few classics in some of the questions above, but for some recent ones, I’d add Dykette by Jenny Fran Davis, Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield, and Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo.

Why do so many young lesbians get off on the older women vibes (e.g. Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson, et. al.) yet wouldn’t dream of dating much beyond their age group? Dating ageism is alive and well in lesbianland, wouldn’t you agree?

I’ve written before about the lesbian obsession with middle-aged women and I agree it seems like a pretty widespread phenomenon. Maybe the issue is the difference between fantasy and reality. Do people actually want to date Cate Blanchett, or just look at her face in the movies? I suppose some of the ageism just comes from the culture writ large, which lesbians can never totally avoid, as much as we may try. People often speak of the gaps in experience, knowledge, and the like between older queer folks and younger ones, and there does seem to be a lack of communication across generations in the modern era. Personally, I don’t really know many lesbians who are much older than me, though I would like to! I wonder if there is also just less real-life crossover between lesbians of significantly different ages than in the past, though that’s just a guess. If people have thoughts on this topic, feel free to share them in the comments – I’d love to hear them.

Do you prefer tea or coffee?

Tea. I don’t really drink coffee at all, but I’m almost always drinking a cup of tea while I write this newsletter. Can’t write without an emotional support beverage.

How did you find your niche?

I started writing about queer people in pop culture and on the internet back in college, and I haven’t really stopped since. For me, it’s less about surveying the broader media landscape for gaps and more about writing about topics that interest me – though if a topic is interesting to me and hasn’t been written about enough, I’m even more inclined to put pen to paper (or my fingers on my laptop, as it were). Before I got my current gig at The Daily Dot, I wrote about movies and TV for /Film and Looper, which was an obvious choice considering I love those things and studied them in school. (Though you certainly don’t need a Master’s degree to get a job in journalism.) Now I write a column about fandom, which is another one of my areas of expertise, mostly because I’ve studied the topic pretty extensively. Finding sites in your area of interest that are volunteer-run and don’t pay can be a way to dip your toes into writing online before looking for somewhere that will actually pay you.

Favorite piece you’ve published?

I still have a lot of affection for my undergrad and Master’s theses – those were my babies. I love writing longer pieces about films, such as the ones I wrote about Holiday, Desert Hearts, Bound, and Gia (part of my Angelina Jolie trilogy). I also enjoy writing my Queer Theory 101 articles, the most in-depth of which is my review of Judith Butler’s Who Afraid of Gender?, which I thought was pretty good and you all seemed to like. One of my favorite essays I wrote in school was about the show Person of Interest, which I adapted into this piece. I also thought these two silly lists – Every Alien In The Alien Movies, Ranked By How Creepy They Are and Every Time Leonardo DiCaprio Cried On Camera, Ranked – were fun. Thank you for prompting me to toot my own horn for a moment.

If you ever end up in jail, what would it be for? Alternatively, if you hadn’t become a writer, what would your career be? Did you have a plan B?

I would probably end up in jail for being at a protest or something. I didn’t really have a backup career plan, to be honest. Before I started writing/editing full-time I worked with kids a lot, but that was never a long-term plan for me. I got my Master’s degree because I’m a nerd and I love to write, though it had the added benefit of giving me a break from thinking about jobs for a couple of years. I actually started this newsletter when I was nannying during the pandemic, and I got my first paid writing gig later that year.

Thanks to everyone who sent in questions! See you next week.