Honestly, you won't believe how well it works

This will shock you to your very core. I Googled 'best clickbait titles' and it told me that the emails that get opened the most have the words 'You won't believe' in the title. I know, right? Would you believe it?

 

Okay, okay. Sorry. Please don't go. It's so hard to find a title for these things. And I so want you to read them. You're all I have now, you know that right? You're my only friend. And I've been self-isolating for 113 days. Since I can't get a pet, I've started trying to befriend the neighbourhood stray cats. They, in classic cat-style, do not give a shit about me. So I got a venus flytrap. I totally anthropomorphise it. It has its plant-mouths wide open and I feel guilty because it looks so hungry. This will soon develope into some kind of Little Shop of Horrors scenario where I start feeding it myself, little by little. It would be very on brand for the year of 2020 if my venus flytrap ended up killing everyone because it got too powerful.

 

What I'm trying to say is, I'm clearly lonely and I need you. I need you to read my newsletter. So I did a dumb clickbait title. I promise I won't do it again. But hey, you're here now, aren't you?

 

I also finally took that Alexa out of its box. I got it ages ago but I immediately felt like a prick and put it in a drawer. But along came our friend, the Rona and sent us into lockdown and daddy now needs a friend. I just said the words 'Alexa, play sad lovesongs' and she's currently playing All or Nothing by O-Town. Y E S. I'm satisfied. Just me, the stray neighbourhood cat that I've tied to a chair (calm down, sir, I'm just joking), my friend Venus Flytrap Williams and my robot. Listening to O-Town.

 

Before I do all of my exciting announcements, I just want to let you know that I do a lot of Facebook Lives these days. Almost every day. No specific time, but usually in the mornings. 10-11-12 thereabouts. And you can go and see the streams afterwards on this link. We've talked a lot about mental health and stuff. It's been super fun.

 

I know being on Facebook makes me 70 years old and that the new thing is TikTok, but I am on TikTok and it's exhausting. So many 12-year olds with issues. Commenting annoying things. It's like I automatically become a kindergarden teacher whenever I log in. And I just scream 'that's the joke, you absolute prick' on a loop.

 

Anyways. 

 

Lucky for all of us, I'm also doing a live show NOT on Facebook - which leads me to... dun dun dun.... The fun announcements!

 

 

 

  

 

I. Am. So. Excited. For. This.

 

Thank you to everyone who bought tickets for my first show, 'How To Be Happy Fat', in June. I had so much fun - despite my computer shutting down half an hour before the show and me being a panicky mess on the phone with Apple Support. I thought I could cram everything into an hour - but I didn't even say half of what I wanted to say and I did a total of 1 hour and 30 minutes. SO - I am doing another one!

 

 

If you can't make it, don't fret - you can watch it for 24 hours after it has been broadcast. 

 

 And you can watch it from anywhere around the world.

 

 

 

For this particular show, I will be talking mainly about fat dating, fat sex and being non-binary and fat. 

 

I'd love for you to watch - and hey, by all means, treat it as a show. I know I'll get dressed up and try and make it all look fancy. 

  

 

 Reminder: I am on Cameo!

 

Cameo is this website where you can buy a personalised video message for yourself or a friend or family member. Or enemy - whatever you want. So far I've been booked to do peptalks, especially body positive or feminist pep talks, birthday greetings, anniversary messages - it's a lot of fun. I ramble a lot and the videos end up being much longer than the other people on Cameo (I've noticed).

 

So if you'd like to book a personalised message, book it here. 

 

 

 ALSO: I'm still selling my stand-up shows!

I am selling my two shows 'Dead Baby Frog' and 'Shimmer Shatter' on this link - they're £5 minimum, but if you're broke, you can use the code 'eattherich' to get 50% off. Now, if you are rich, you can also choose to give more than £5. You can give, say, £2000 per show. That'd be nice. Thank you, rich person.

Also a reminder: I'm on Patreon!

 

Some of you have asked me if I considered making a Patreon account for me - in general - instead of it being just for Made of Human Podcast. And no, I'd feel weird not having an actual "product" to give back to you. But what I will say is - the minimum amount to give per episode on my Patreon is one dollar. My podcast is weekly, meaning, at the most, there will be five episodes in a month (max!). That's five dollars. That's around £4 a month. And at the moment, it wouldn't just go towards the podcast - it would go towards me and all of my work. And I continue to be in awe of you all and your kindness and willingness to support. So here is my Patreon if you want to sign up - you will also get access to a bunch of extra special mini-interviews with most of my guests, like, Tim Minchin, Travis Alabanza, Grace Petrie, Ed Gamble, Suzi Ruffel and so on. They're for Patreon-supporters only.

Speaking of Made of Human Podcast - I hope it can bring you entertainment and comfort these days. I'm having some incredibly conversations with amazing people. Go listen here or wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

I hope you are doing well, wherever you are and whoever you are. I hope you are taking deep, deep breaths and that you are remembering to be extra kind to yourself. I hope you find time and spoons to do self-care. I hope you are educating yourself and learning to unlearn. I am very grateful for you.

Love you.
Stay safe.

Sofie.