Good morning, friends!
I hope you all had a lovely holiday! On Christmas Eve, I got a huge surprise when I learned that The Rock read the latest issue of The Profile!
The latest Profile Dossier featured Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, and it detailed his eventful life and career. You can check it out here as it's been vetted & approved by The Rock himself!
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Now, on to today's column:
For many of us, 2020 has been a year of desperately attempting to cling on to some elusive level of certainty.
I've wanted to write about this topic for a very long time, but I never quite had the words to explain it. Now, I do. This year has delivered so many unexpected blows that I've had no choice but to learn from experience.
Let me start here: I was someone who did very well in school by learning (and excelling at) "the game of school" — put in effort, get a reward. This served me really well until the day after I graduated college. That's when I learned that the world operates in an ass-backwards kind of way.
For example, the more desperate you are for love, the less likely you are to get it. The more confident you try to be, the more anxiety that bubbles up. The more respect you demand, the less people take you seriously. The more you try to ensure you avoid pain, the more you suffer.
In other words, it's the opposite of what you learned in school: Effort doesn't always work in your favor. Sometimes, it even works against you.
I know what you're thinking: "Yeah, yeah Polina. But when my head's on fire and my heart is beating out of control, am I supposed to kick back, put my feet up, and watch three seasons of America's Next Top Model?" (That actually sounds kind of nice...but no.)
The truth is that when things go wrong, your instinct is to hold on tighter. To worry more. To resist with everything you have. So how do you override these very natural human impulses?
Through The Profile, I've studied many people who have come to master their emotional state in order to become mentally resilient. Here are several techniques I've learned that may be useful in relinquishing control during the situations that matter.
First, I was intrigued by Hugh Jackman's ability to let go and relax when he's on stage. Before a role, he does a significant amount of research on the character, and he makes choices ahead of time that will eventually play out in the scene. But his best moments have come from leaving room for spontaneity. “I actually think you need to risk being bad,” Jackman says. “Just … let it be.”
Easier said than done, right? But then, he discovered the "85% rule." The rule states that intensity, force, or stress should never override form, technique, and preparation.
Jackman elaborates: “A sprint coach realized that [Olympian] Carl Lewis did nothing at the 50-meter mark; his breathing and form was exactly the same. Other runners would try to push harder, clenching their fists, scrunching their faces. But Carl Lewis stayed exactly the same—and went on to breeze past the others.”
It’s like that with everything in life — the more you try to force something, the less optimal your performance. If you aim for 85% energy expenditure and reserve the other 15% for mental and physical calm, you'll gain greater control over your own body.
I was recently working on a deep-dive on David Goggins, who has completed three Navy SEAL “hell weeks," more than 50 endurance races, and holds the Guinness World Record for most pull-ups (4,030) in 24 hours. He's mastered the ability to stay calm in chaotic and emotionally-taxing situations.
"The key is to quiet your mind while in mental hell and embrace whatever obstacle is in front of you with open arms," he says. "We must learn to conserve energy and to control the emotional and mental stresses of our setbacks."
SEAL training teaches candidates the difficult task of gaining control over their physiology. They use a principle called "The Four Pillars of Mental Toughness," which includes goal-setting, mental visualization, positive self-talk, and arousal control.
Arousal control — intentionally regulating your emotional response — is the most interesting because it's a skill very few people possess. When the average person is under intense stress, they start sweating, their heart starts racing, and the mind goes blank. But SEALs learn how to override the body's natural responses in the most extreme circumstances.
For example, Navy SEALs’ heart rates often drop when they are engaged in combat, and athletes describe a state of tunnel vision and effortless excellence in high-pressure situations.
The problem is that you can't teach yourself to regulate your physiological and psychological instincts when you're sitting comfortably on your couch. You need to put yourself in challenging situations where you can be "stress-tested."
Ultra-marathoner Courtney Dauwalter has managed to stay calm even through bouts of severe nausea, a bleeding head injury, and temporary blindness. Although she tries to prepare herself mentally for some of the more painful endurance races, she can’t get to that level of pain on her daily training runs. You’re stress-tested, she says, on the day of the actual race.
Most of us are conditioned to think we need to avoid pain at all costs. But here's a different perspective: Dauwalter talks about as an actual place: she visualizes herself entering "the pain cave." The reason it’s helpful to personify pain is that it serves as a reminder that you’re in control when you enter and equally as aware that you can leave. “It’s not a place I’m scared to enter,” she says. “It’s a place I’m excited to find the entrance to.”
Do you know who you are after running for 19 hours straight with no sleep? Do you know who you are when someone manipulates your emotions? Do you know who you are when you hit rock bottom?
Sometimes, you enter "the pain cave" voluntarily and other times, life shoves you in there against your will. I've had several experiences this year where a) my plans burned to the ground b) things went (very) wrong, and c) trusted friends blindsided me.
I could feel my stomach in knots, my heart racing, and my brain fuming. And yet the secret to staying calm and at peace is to learn how to relinquish control of the external circumstance at a moment when that control is all you crave.
As 2020 has proven, none of us are immune to life’s most soul-crushing challenges. The only thing we know for certain is that the world will continue to be random and chaotic. “Conflict is going to find us. It is the rare, pathetically-privileged person that doesn’t get their fair share of hardship,” rock climber Tommy Caldwell says.
At the same time, you can’t live life resisting what’s to come. Here’s a mindset that has carried Caldwell through some dark times: “Hardship is inevitable, so put your goggles on, and face the wind. If we allow ourselves to be exposed to challenge, then that challenge can energize us and show us who we are."
Remember, you may not have control over other people and circumstances, but you have control over your own emotional sobriety.
PROFILES.
— The journalist who fell in love with Martin Shkreli [**HIGHLY RECOMMEND**]
— The kid who cracked YouTube's algorithm
— America's most misunderstood chef
— The shepherd-turned-billionaire
— 2020's unlikely controversial figure
— The most successful children's author
— The woman who witnessed 278 executions
PEOPLE TO KNOW.
The journalist who fell in love with Martin Shkreli: In 2018, Christie Smythe quit her job at Bloomberg, moved out of her apartment, and divorced her husband. Why? Because she fell in love with a defendant whose case she not only covered, but broke the news of his arrest. Her love interest is Martin Shkreli: the so-called “Pharma Bro” and online provocateur, who increased the price of a lifesaving drug by 5,000% overnight. Shkreli, convicted of fraud in 2017, is now serving seven years in prison. This story is a wild ride. (Elle Magazine)
“Maybe I was being charmed by a master manipulator."
The kid who cracked YouTube's algorithm: In 2016, Jimmy Donaldson dropped out of college to try to solve one of the biggest mysteries in media: How exactly does a video go viral on YouTube? Donaldson, then 18, was convinced he was close to unlocking the secrets of YouTube’s algorithm. And then he did it — For 40-plus hours, he counted from zero all the way to 100,000. It was a viral sensation. Here's how Donaldson’s channel, MrBeast, has amassed more than 48 million subscribers over the past four years. (Bloomberg)
“Once you know how to make a video go viral, it’s just about how to get as many out as possible."
America's most misunderstood chef: The COVID crisis is what keeps Guy Fieri awake these days. In March, he helped launch the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund, which has raised $21.5 million to distribute in $500 grants to laid-off restaurant workers. “I’ve been through some shit in my day,” Fieri says, “but in a million years, you never could have told me a story as horrific, as decimating, as this has been.” (Eater)
“Not everybody likes the same sports or the same politics, but everybody likes food."
The shepherd-turned-billionaire: When he started Chobani, founder and CEO Hamdi Ulukaya bought a shuttered dairy factory and started making Greek-style yogurt. His privately-held company now earns more than $1.5 billion in annual revenue—all while distinguishing itself as a champion of Good Business. In this Q&A, Ulukaya explains his magic formula to success. (Bloomberg) [Read Ulukaya's Profile Dossier here.]
"Small businesses are the engine for the economy: They become tomorrow’s large companies and innovators. And they are devastated."
2020's unlikely controversial figure: Author J.K. Rowling had never been a controversial figure. Her books sold hundreds of millions of copies, they inspired films that brought in billions of dollars, and she used the money she made to save children from orphanages. And then in 2020, things got weird. She shared her belief that the trans-rights movement is “doing demonstrable harm in seeking to erode ‘woman’ as a political and biological class and offering cover to predators like few before it.” Here's how she got here. (New York Magazine)
“She absolutely believes that she is right, that she’s on a mission, and that history will eventually bear her out."
The most successful children's author: Julia Donaldson published her first book in her 40s and became the biggest selling author of the past decade in any genre. Her children's book, The Gruffalo alone has sold 13 million copies. Donaldson, now 72, has written more than 210 books: chiefly picture books, but also poetry, plays, a 60-part phonics reading scheme and a novel for preteens. Here's how she became such a prolific writer. (The Guardian)
“Julia Donaldson is the unassailable queen of picture books."
FROM THE VAULT.
The woman who witnessed 278 executions: Michelle Lyons began her career as a reporter covering prisons and executions. At first, she approached it with little emotion: her duty as a journalist was to be dispassionate. After a year, she became a spokesperson for the biggest prison system in the nation and she struggled not to lose hold of her emotions. But a decade of watching 278 humans take their last breath did not come without a cost.
"Being human, I knew there were bound to be cracks in the veneer. I just thought somehow it wouldn’t happen to me.”
This installment of The Profile is free for everyone. If you would like to get full access to all of the recommendations, including today’s audio and video sections, sign up below.
LISTEN.
Nick Saban on his psychological recipe for success: What makes a champion? Who makes a champion? This three-part podcast series goes inside Nick Saban's mind. In a rare interview, he reveals the keys to excellence at the highest levels. It’s not just about the physical training — so much of Saban’s “process” focuses on building up his players’ mental strength. Here’s his psychological recipe for success. (Link available to premium members.)
Kris Cordle on becoming the CEO whisperer: Kris Cordle was raised in a religious cult, in which she had no interaction with the outside world. Although the cult was largely oppressive, she believes she learned things like compassion, humility, and the death of ego, which helped shape her career. Cordle has become something of a CEO whisperer, working directly with the chief executives of Twitter, Slack, and Yahoo. Here’s what she’s learned. (Link available to premium members.)
Danny Meyer on building a restaurant empire: Restaurateur Danny Meyer says restaurants can't win on food or wine alone. "A long time ago, I realized that food and wine were a starting gate," he says. "I was more interested in turning my restaurant into your favorite restaurant." In this episode, Meyer explains why hospitality is all about unlocking human emotion and creating a feeling of belonging. (Link available to premium members.)
WATCH.
Charlie Munger on his philosophy for life: In this brand new interview with Charlie Munger, he shares some wisdom gained over the years. "I just try and avoid being stupid," he says. "I have a way of handling a lot of problems — I put them in my 'too hard' pile, and I just leave them there. I'm not trying to succeed in the 'too hard' pile.'" If you want to avoid stupid errors, he says, you must first gain a deep understanding of your own competence. (Link available to premium members.)
Leilah Janah on the importance of grit: Leilah Janah, the founder and CEO of Samasource, passed away earlier this year, leaving behind a rich legacy of social good. She dedicated her time to creating job opportunities for the world's poorest communities. "Grit was part of my upbringing, and I'm actually really grateful for that," she said. "As an entrepreneur, the most important attribute is probably not quitting." This is a really good one. (Link available to premium members.)
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