Not Doing "Enough" - My Honest Realization

By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate • Issue #311 • View online

I’ll just say it. I often feel I’m not doing enough.

I know, I know.

It’s a problem.

What is enough?

And what kind of doing are we talking about here?

As you’ll soon learn, with my up-and-down experiences as your guide, there is another side to “not doing enough.”

A Personal History of Not Doing Enough

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this sinking feeling that I’m not doing enough.

It’s a rock in the pit of my stomach.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy.

I’m fortunate to work on things that I enjoy. I have a wonderful wife, and I have my health at the moment.

But this feeling is a murky feeling, and I’m not quite sure where it comes from.

As a child, I had to read all the time.

I like to read, but it wasn’t about that.

I HAD to read. I had to finish more and more books.

Why?

So that I could get on to the next one. It was a compulsion that drove me forward.

There’s an obsessive quality in my life that takes hold if I’m not careful.

You could call it OCD, and a doctor has.

But I think that’s too easy. I think chalking it up to the obsessions of a tidy diagnosis doesn’t describe the feeling that is part of me.

Looked at another way, I’m an Enneagram 3–the Achiever Type.

I recently have been digging into the mysteries of the enneagram, and it’s not at all what I thought it was.

It’s not just a silly online personality test. The wisdom of the enneagram has been formulated over thousands of years. Much like my mind and my natural tendencies.

I’m the collection of all those who have come before me.

Would they think I’m doing enough?

It doesn’t seem to matter when I’m the one that gets gripped by the feeling.

Tough feelings have a tendency to make you feel alone in the world.

Am I Doing Enough? Are You?

Why am I telling you all this?

It’s not because I want you to feel bad for me.

And it’s not even so you can see your exact life in mine. That would be impossible.

The reason I’m telling you that I often feel I’m not doing enough is to create an opening. A window through which we both can look.

It’s very likely that you have a feeling like this, a murky gripping state of being that takes hold of you at times.

That’s OK.

It’s not all bad.

My feeling of not doing enough is a driving force. It compels me to write this newsletter for hours each week. The feeling of not doing enough drives me to start. To put words on the screen. Funny enough, the driving force that propels me forward to start gets me to a point of flow that I love being in. Starting leads to being in the moment, so the feeling of not doing enough has its benefits. It’s not all bad. There are two sides to it.

So now I ask you:

What is your feeling?

What grips you without you realizing it?

Suspend your judgment for long enough to see it in its totality.

A mentally healthy existence is not shutting down everything that you initially feel is bad.

A mentally healthy existence is a full and courageous embrace.

Of the good and the bad.

Of the enough and the not enough.

Of whatever it is that drives you to do what you love.

The driving feeling may not always be pleasant.

But if the “not enough” gets you to the point of “enough” and contentment and, eventually, love, is it really all bad?

Not doing _____. I’m sure there’s something in your life you feel you’re not doing. I encourage you to see if that feeling has another side to it.

Wishing you productive action and meaningful thoughts,

Jordan

P.S. Will you help me share this labor of love with someone who might need to read it? The Mental Health Update has mainly spread via word of mouth. 851 people read these emails now. If I’ve helped you in any way, I hope you’ll forward one of my emails to someone you love. Thank you.

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By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

The Mental Health Update provides you with authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is different from typical mental health newsletters and articles.

It's not just an Anxiety Email Newsletter or a Depression Email Newsletter - It's two weekly articles packed with timeless mental health wisdom and inspiration to start your day in a thoughtful, uplifting way.

I was tired of other newsletters blasting out generic lists of links and depression articles.

And I was especially tired of them not focusing on the everyday reality of mental health issues.

So I decided to come up with something I wanted to read.

This health newsletter is like a caring friend that just wants you to feel better.

Mental health awareness articles don't need to be all doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

With The Mental Health Update, you'll get practical mental health information, tips, and new ways to view the world. Especially now, with people reeling from the effects of the COVID 19 pandemic, we need trusted voices telling it like it is.

We discuss topics like anxiety, depression, OCD, the mental health to mental illness spectrum, social and communication skills, and much, much more.

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Not Doing "Enough" - My Honest Realization

The Mental Health Update provides you with authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is what a few subscribers had to say about The Mental Health Update:

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