The Mental Health Digest - 3 Shocking Lessons You Can Use in May

3 Shocking Lessons You Can Use in May

By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate • Issue #342 • View online

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, or MHAM for short.

It’s a designated time to be open about our mental health stories.

And while I’m vocal about my mental journey now, it hasn’t always been this way.

Getting to this point has been a long and bumpy road. And it isn’t over yet.

Here’s what has happened to me in 3 huge ways ever since I decided to share my mental health struggles.

You’ll read about big lessons, but you’ll also learn how you can make them happen in your own life.

Mental Health Awareness Month (3 Lessons)

Lesson 1 - The Bad Isn’t So Bad

The first lesson I learned from sharing my mental health stories is that the bad really isn’t so bad.

What I thought was something I could never overcome became something entirely different when I brought it out to share with others.

The light of day, and the gaining of others’ perspectives, changed the way I saw my struggles.

Inside my head, struggles are boulders. They are roadblocks with no way around them.

But sharing my mental health issues with others exposed them to new angles. The way someone else sees my struggles can never be how I see them–it’s a different angle.

What I experienced as the worst ever was almost always someone else’s second or third worst. They had seen a bottom pit I had not yet reached, and with their help, I could avoid a similar fate.

Keeping a tragedy in your head is confining it to the walls of your mind.

Unboxing it and sharing your mental health struggles, while terrifying at first, is actually one of the safer actions you can take.

How to Do It:

Start with safe spaces - Choose to share in an environment where you already feel comfortable. There’s no need to bring the discomfort of your first share to the discomfort of an unfamiliar or threatening space.
Start small - Don’t burst right out and share your story with every dripping detail. Test the waters. See how people react at first. Once you collect your initial data on how supportive a person might be, you can then decide to move forward if you want to.
Separate yourself from your “bad” before you share - I write about this a lot–in fact, the very act of writing is an ongoing lesson of this for me–and that is using writing or typing as a way to get the thoughts out of your head and see them for what they are. Looking at words on paper or a screen is an entirely different experience from letting them build up and consume your entire mind.

Lesson 2 - Sharing Makes You Human

How do you feel when someone shares a personal fact?

Do you judge them?

Doubt them?

If they are choosing to be vulnerable with you, you know it.

You can tell that what they are sharing took great courage.

This is the inexplicable duality of sharing and receiving. One person shares their darkest secrets, and the other person receives them and makes them whole.

Humans evolved by seeing each other for what they were. In the wild and turbulent times of surviving out in the wild, humans automatically saw each other at their best and worst.

But, in modern times, it’s too easy to hide away the parts of yourselves that you’re ashamed of.

While this might seem like a good thing, it actually prevents you from getting the human connection that has been passed down to you through the ages.

Talking about your struggles and exposing your flaws is not a sign of failure.

It’s actually one of the strongest actions you can take.

How to Do It:

Think About People Who Have Inspired You - I’m sure you have a role model. Someone who makes you believe you can do more than you’re currently doing. What is it about that person that inspires you so? Is it their mediocrity? Probably not. Typically, it’s something outside of what you consider normal. Usually, it’s the fact that they risked part of themselves to offer it up to others. Vulnerability is an interesting thing. We don’t admire people because they are just like us. We admire them because they put themselves out there and showed us what could be if we, too, took the risk.
Be Authentic - Authenticity is the key here. You don’t want to share anything and everything that you think will get you attention from others. That’s not your story: that’s caving to the attention-craving culture created by social media. Do the things that have always been inside of you. Say what you truly believe, and do it over and over again. Write down your top five values, and then write down why you value what you value. Getting clear on who you are is the first step to getting that human connection that you need.

Lesson 3 - No One Is Ever Just One Thing

And while authenticity can feel like you’re exposing your weaknesses and shedding light on your failures, there’s one final lesson here that is crucial to internalize.

When I started opening up about behaviors that I deemed embarrassing, such as my tendency to pick at my skin when very anxious, my mind tried to trick me into thinking that others would only ever view me as that one thing.

But again, that’s what happens when thoughts stay in your mind.

The more I shared about the good and bad of who I am, the more I realized that no one is ever just one thing.

People need to see that you are human. No one is the picture-perfect life they share on Facebook.

We are all victories and failures, great hopes and massive heartbreaks.

To be vulnerable, one also needs to be courageous.

To share shame, one also needs to overcome shame.

It’s a contradiction that you only realize once you start sharing.

How to Do It:

Consider the Dichotomy of Emotions - Think about a time when you or someone else shared something they were ashamed of. Did you feel disgusted and think, “Well now I know everything I need to know about them!” Or did you feel surprised? Enlightened even? We are all complex creatures. Sharing one emotion will always expose another one.
Create a Simple Timeline - Map out your life story in simple terms. Draw a horizontal line, and then map out 5-10 years on that timeline. It doesn’t matter which ones. Once you have your years, choose something memorable from each of those years. Once you’ve done that, step back and look at your creation. What you’ll most likely find is that you are changeable. You are not the child or teenager of your youth. You are a human being who takes in new experiences and creates something out of them. The biggest creation of your life is who you are today.

What Can You Share and Learn This Month?

What do you think?

Now that you’ve read the lessons I’ve learned, I’m sure you can already think of lessons from your own life.

Mental Health Awareness Month is one month, yes, but it’s a safe space for you to get started sharing your story.

And the more you share, the easier it gets.

So, what will you try this month, and how will you try it?

Reply to this email with something you’ll try this May.

I’ll share the best responses in an issue on Wednesday or Monday.

This May, I hope you’ll think about how much you’ve already overcome.

And then I hope you’ll consider sharing your story with others.

You never know, what’s embarrassing for you may be just the thing another person needed to feel inspired enough to share their own story.

Good luck this month. If you’re already involved in mental health communities, you are going to come across all kinds of stories. If not, you still might be exposed to more than you’re used to. Stay open to them, but also remember to care for yourself. Balance is key.

Believing in you and the power you have to overcome and transform the bad things that have happened to you–but that do not define you,

Jordan

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By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

The Mental Health Update provides you with authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is different from typical mental health newsletters and articles.

It's not just an Anxiety Email Newsletter or a Depression Email Newsletter - It's two weekly articles packed with timeless mental health wisdom and inspiration to start your day in a thoughtful, uplifting way.

I was tired of other newsletters blasting out generic lists of links and depression articles.

And I was especially tired of them not focusing on the everyday reality of mental health issues.

So I decided to come up with something I wanted to read.

This health newsletter is like a caring friend that just wants you to feel better.

Mental health awareness articles don't need to be all doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

With The Mental Health Update, you'll get practical mental health information, tips, and new ways to view the world. Especially now, with people reeling from the effects of the COVID 19 pandemic, we need trusted voices telling it like it is.

We discuss topics like anxiety, depression, OCD, the mental health to mental illness spectrum, social and communication skills, and much, much more.

This is what a few subscribers had to say about The Mental Health Update:

"If you haven't yet subscribed to Jordan's mental health newsletter, you absolutely should. It's chock full of good stuff to read and will help make your day better. Not unlike a daily vitamin for your mental health and soul..." - JR

"Encouragement from someone who has “been there” when it comes to mental health struggles. Comes in the form of stories and simple, actionable tips for reframing and working with - and through - your issues. One of the few newsletters that has survived my ruthless inbox decluttering sprees. Highly recommended!" - Kelila

"Jordan's mental health update is a welcomed email in my inbox. It often provides me with a chance to break from the mundane tasks of working in an office and take a moment for myself to hear his thoughtful and well put together thoughts on many aspects of mental health. As someone who works in the psychology field it's often a nice reminder and way of grounding myself to all the great work that's going on and the journey we all must take in supporting mental health. Thank you Jordan!" - Rob

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The Mental Health Digest - 3 Shocking Lessons You Can Use in May

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