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Icebreakers With...Happiness Expert Dr. Laurie Santos

Dr. Laurie Santos

Some college classes you’d never skip even if extremely hungover—like Dr. Laurie Santos’s “Psychology and the Good Life.” The class, which explores the science behind decision-making and what comprises a fulfilling life, is Yale’s most popular course in over 300 years.

Luckily for us, Santos doesn’t keep her happiness secrets confined to New Haven, and she released the newest season of her acclaimed podcast, The Happiness Lab, this month.  

Santos was kind enough to grant us time during office hours to ask a few questions.

Given what we know about the relationship between nostalgia and happiness, what’s the optimal amount of pictures to take on vacation?

I think pictures are kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand, pictures can help us remember things better, which helps us to access all our fondest moments. But there’s also a problem with pictures—they often take us out of the moment. And one thing we need for forming new memories is to be paying attention. 

So my advice is that if pictures help you stay present, if they cause you to attend to a scene and notice more things, then great. That’ll allow you to have a memento that will help you remember after the fact. But if taking pictures means that you're worrying about how your hair looks or forcing people out of the moment to take a picture, then they might not be such a good idea.

What are some tips on coping with rejection? 

The most important tip is realizing that rejection really hurts. And neuroscience suggests that it hurts in the same way that an awful physical wound might hurt. That means we really need some rejection first aid—we need to treat the pain right away. The best thing we can do when we're feeling rejected is to remember why we're valuable. Take time to write down the things you like about yourself, why you’re valued. Literally write your values and strengths down to remember why you're important and why you matter.  

A second important method of rejection first aid is to get some social connection. Meet up with the people who really care about you, and if you can't meet up with them directly, then do some “social snacking” and just look at pictures of people who are close to you. Just like getting a snack when you're hungry, a little social snacking can help you feel a lot better.

How does a person know when they are happy? Is there a way of quantifying it? 

The best way to know if you're happy is to ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” There's no thermometer for happiness. Even as scientists, we do rely on people's self-reports. But the good news is that those self-reports are valid for happiness and well-being. Self-report measures seem to correlate with other important things like textual analyses of your journal entries or detailed interviews with your family. So really the best way to know if you're happy is to ask yourself.

Is it easier for someone who studies happiness for a living to be happier than someone who doesn't? 

I think you're asking if I'm actually happier. And the answer is yes. Since teaching this class, I’ve gone up about a whole point on standard 10-point measures of well-being. One of the great things about being the person who teaches a happiness class is that I have to practice what I preach. Otherwise my students will notice and will call me out on it. And that means that I'm engaging in more gratitude lately. I'm taking more time to meditate. I'm doing all of the habits that I suggest to my students and my podcast listeners, and as the data might suggest, that has made me happier.

You’ve spent a lot of time studying nonhuman animals. How often when you observe human behavior do you think, wow, I’m just looking at a bunch of monkeys?

Well, it happens a lot in department faculty meetings, I'll be honest. But joking aside, I think one of the things you learn when you study primates, in particular, is that humans really are just animals ultimately. Lots of the kinds of things that we worry about come from our biology, and really mirror what we see in our closest living relatives, which I kind of take heart in. It's nice to see that humans are connected to their own biology.

If your life were made into a movie, what genre would it be and who would play you?

Well, statistically speaking, if my life were made into a movie it would probably be a documentary. Since it’s about my life. But if I had a choice I would love for it to be a comedy, and for me to be played by J.Lo.

There’s more of the interview we couldn’t fit into the newsletter. Give it a read here.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity. 

How to Deal With Micromanagers

Each week, our workplace whisperer Shane Loughnane answers reader-submitted questions about work in 2021. Anything bothering you at work? Ask Shane here.

I like my boss, but how do I get them to stop micromanaging me?—Sam in London

Since going remote, my own four-legged boss has taken to micromanaging my every move. Currently, his head can be found draped over my shoulder, no doubt poised to critique this advice. Chances are, neither my attention-hungry pal nor your IRL manager is doing much to increase our respective productivity.

Most micromanagers tend to have two things in common: They are well-intentioned, and they wouldn’t want to be considered a micromanager. Your boss likely became a manager in the first place because they excelled at a job (possibly yours) that they had a lot of control over. It can take time to relinquish that control and to fully trust someone else to be just as effective. Give a little grace, if you can afford it.

While you’re being patient, also be preemptive. When you get a new project, ask your boss, “What would it look like if this were done perfectly?” Compel them to think about what they want ahead of time and to possibly even provide templates or examples, rather than interject on the fly. If they are nudging you for repeated updates, put a few reasonably distanced checkpoints on the calendar so that they know there’s a designated time set aside to pull up and debate the merits of Calibri vs. Helvetica (I’m a Garamond man, myself).

Above all else, open the dialogue. Some people need (and want) more guidance than others. Does your boss know that their current style demotivates you? Very likely there are tasks that you would actually appreciate more direction on than others—let them know that, too. The Situational Leadership framework is a model I’ve benefited from putting into practice and a great place to start the conversation at any level. Finding ways to introduce resources like these can help to limit unnecessary micromanagement and strengthen leadership skills throughout your organization.

I have a large blank wall in my office and would like to put a vinyl quote on the wall. Could be motivational, not necessarily team-related, but definitely work appropriate. Any suggestions?—Rachel in Florida

This seems like a fun one to crowdsource to Brew readers—anyone game to help Rachel out? I’ll lean on Michael Scott to help get us in formation by recommending an Office classic: “I am Beyoncé, always.”  

Have a question about work you want to ask Shane? Have an idea for a quote for Rachel? Write in here. 

And coming soon...HR Brew. Be one of the first subscribers to our upcoming newsletter on all things human resources.

A Movie Pirate’s Life Just Got Easier

What pirated movies used to look like: shaky camcorder recordings of movies taken in theaters and uploaded to piracy sites.

What pirated movies look like now: 4K resolution and just a quick Google search away.

So what changed? Theater owners are blaming the recent phenomenon of same-day releases for a spike in piracy. 

The backstory: After pushing back releases in 2020, many studios finally decided to debut their films in theaters—but with a streaming twist. Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Jungle Cruise, and other would-be blockbusters simultaneously debuted in theaters and on streaming services in summer 2021. It’s a seismic departure from the traditional method of releasing films in theaters, then waiting 90 days to make them available on digital platforms.

That 90-day window did a lot more than protect the egos of directors who insisted their movies must be viewed on big screens. According to the Motion Picture Association, simultaneous theater-streaming releases have led to a surge in the number of pirated films flooding the internet—within minutes of their streaming debuts.

Last weekend at CinemaCon, the biggest annual expo for theater owners and studios, Motion Picture Association CEO Charles Rivkin accused one piracy group of single-handedly bootlegging 4,600 new movies in the past year.

Black Widow was the most pirated movie in the world for three weeks running after it was released on Disney+ and in theaters on July 9, according to piracy-monitoring site TorrentFreak. Other summer releases, including The Suicide Squad and Jungle Cruise, also topped piracy charts shortly after their digital debuts.

That’s making a dent in box office revenue

Disney said Black Widow has earned $367 million at the global box office. But here’s what that headline number doesn’t tell you: A big chunk of the money came on the first day the movie was released in theaters...then declined precipitously afterward in no small part due to pirated copies circulating the web.

Revenue for Black Widow plummeted 41% from Friday to Saturday of its opening weekend and 67% from its first to second weekend—the largest box office drop of any Marvel movie, ever. The National Association of Theater Owners directly blamed piracy for the “stunning collapse.”

While streaming platforms may recoup some money lost to piracy via digital rentals and subscriber growth (which has boomed for Disney+, HBO Max, and Netflix), theaters won’t see a cent of that. 

And depending on how their notoriously vague contracts are set up, neither will actors: Sources say piracy is one reason ScarJo is suing Disney+.

Bottom line: From thorny questions around actor compensation to surging piracy levels, the road to streaming glory has more potholes than media giants had anticipated.

Open House

Welcome to Open House, the only newsletter section that wants to know, “Were those dolphin statues on porpoise?” We’ll give you a few facts about a listing and you try to guess the price.

Zillow

Today’s featured property is located in Indianapolis, IN, hometown of Kurt Vonnegut, Wes Montgomery, and the guy who wrote the music for “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” This house has everything—a curvy porch, a curvy pool, and a window with a curvy top and bottom (aka a circle). A 29,500 square-foot house that gives a Midwestern twist to a classic rock-climbing wall. 

Amenities include:

• 7 beds, 7.5 baths
• Five separate fireplaces
• A multipurpose ballroom and conference center (yes, for real)
• That kid who is photobombing a few of the pics

How much for the house only a mother could love? Scroll to the bottom of the newsletter to find out.

Just Click It

1. The link between great thinking and obsessive walking. (Literary Hub) 
2. Gardening could be an essential part of astronaut self-care. (The Counter)
3. The world’s largest computer chip. (New Yorker)
4. Lorde, Billie Eilish, and the reluctant pop star. (BuzzFeed News)
5. Why is tech illustration stuck on repeat? (Protocol)
6. A thread on big-box stores and their effect on cities and towns. (Stacy Mitchell on Twitter)
7. Female entrepreneurs still live in the shadow of Elizabeth Holmes. (New York Times)
8. Why does Netflix want to enter gaming? (Matthew Ball)
9. Who runs Twitter’s @Twitter? (Bloomberg) 
10. “Office otherness” and why not everyone is excited to return to in-person work. (Morning Brew)

Grape job. WSJwine specializes in smaller-scale wines handcrafted by passionate winemakers. And now you can get their Top 12 wines plus 2 bonus bottles and 2 stemless glasses for just $69.99 plus S&T. Get this tasty deal here.*

Meme Battle

Welcome back to Morning Brew's Meme Battle, where we crown a single memelord every Sunday. 

Today's winner: Brittany in San Jose, CA. Stay safe out there, Brittany.

This week's challenge: You can find the new meme template here for next Sunday. Once you're done making your meme, submit it at this link for consideration.

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