Feel Less Annoyed Today By Understanding This One Thing

By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate • Issue #383 • View online

Feeling annoyed is like an itch you just can’t scratch.

It’s a pebble in your shoe when you need to walk two more miles.

Whichever way you look at it, and before I start to sound too much like Alanis Morrisette, feeling annoyed can be just unpleasant enough to ruin your day.

But what if there were a way to beat this feeling simply by looking at it and picking it apart?

What if there were a way to zoom in on the feeling from a different perspective and transform it?

There is.

And the answer is closer than you think.

Today you’re going to learn what you can do to transform your feelings of annoyance now and into the future.

How to Be Less Annoyed - What You Need to Know

There’s a Buddhist saying that goes something like this.

It’s not the mountain in front of you that will kill you–it’s the pebble in your shoe.

What does that mean exactly?

It means that the looming mountains in our lives are the obvious problems.

They’re the things we can blame when things don’t go right.

Because they are so big, it’s only natural to place blame on them for our own misfortune.

But what actually makes us quit?

What makes us finally give up on whatever task is in front of us?

Usually, it’s the nagging discomfort that won’t ever go away.

You push on and grind through your day only to lose focus from a strained back.

You grin and bear it for hours until that one little remark from just the wrong person that puts you over the edge.

How can a mere annoyance hold so much power?

The answer is right in front of you.

Actually, it’s within you.

Quick. "Feeling annoyed" pose.

Because, when you’re annoyed, you’re not actually frustrated with an external object or situation.

It’s not the mountain that is deserving of your blame.

It’s something a bit more nuanced.

It’s the way you see the mountain and approach it.

The approach contains the pebble in your shoe, the road you’re traveling, and the roadblocks that emerge from time to time.

Another word for your moment-to-moment experience is your “perspective.”

When you hate something that is happening to you, you don’t actually hate the thing or event or circumstance.

You hate the way you’re dealing with it.

It’s all state-dependent.

When you’re on vacation and walking through the hot sand, do you place as much emphasis on how hot it is?

Or do you muster up the energy with a laugh and move towards the water, knowing you’ll be there soon?

Your emotional state determines how you feel.

The hot sand could actually be much more painful than any rock in your shoe, but your outlook is different when you’re in vacation mode.

What you bring to the table is what you experience.

So, when we say that we’re annoyed with something, we’re actually projecting our own inner experience onto whatever is happening around us.

That person that keeps interrupting you?

What you’re feeling probably comes from something you haven’t resolved within yourself.

The loud chewer next to you?

Is it really the noise, or is it the way you’re moving through your life at that current moment?

Certainly, there have been loud chewers and pebbles and hot sand throughout your entire life.

What makes one experience no big deal and the other one enough to push you over the edge?

The Annoyance-Busting Process - What You Need to Do

Today is the day to learn a bit more about what you’re bringing to the table.

The next time you’re feeling annoyed, I want you to try something.

First, stop and realize that you are, in fact, feeling annoyed.

This seems obvious, but it’s key to grabbing hold of what’s happening to you so that you can latch on to the feeling and then let it go.

Second, you have to sit with the uncomfortable feeling for a bit.

You have to let it take shape.

If you can’t do this, you will continue to push back against it, which only makes the feeling of annoyance stronger and stronger.

Third, you have to accept whatever is happening.

Now, this is much easier said than done.

But the way I suggest doing it is by acknowledging the feeling and then choosing another path.

If you’re feeling annoyed and you’re ready to tap out of life, then it’s time to choose another direction.

Maybe that means taking a break.

Maybe it means smiling when you feel like bawling.

Whatever it is, you must take ownership of the situation.

You’re the author of your life, so it’s time to stop taking on the passive living experience that feeling annoyed truly is.

Finally, you must repeat this process over and over again.

Repetition breeds familiarity, and familiarity leads to mastery.

Only you can master your emotions.

Only you can bring annoying situations to awareness so that they can be transformed and overcome.

The answer has been within you all along.

While that might seem like a disappointment at first, it’s actually one of the most powerful realizations you can have.

So the next time you’re feeling annoyed, see it as the opportunity that it is.

Life is state-dependent.

What will you choose to do–and be–next?

—————

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll try this today. And it it doesn’t work right away, try again. I’m doing the same thing.

You have a lot more power over your life than you realize.

Be well today,

Jordan

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By Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

The Mental Health Update Mental Health Newsletter provides you with authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is different from typical mental health newsletters and articles about mental health challenges.

It's not just an Anxiety Email Newsletter or a Depression Email Newsletter - It's two weekly articles packed with timeless mental health wisdom and inspiration to start your day in a thoughtful, uplifting way.

I was tired of other "mental health care" newsletters blasting out generic lists of links and depression articles.

And I was especially tired of them not focusing on the everyday reality of mental health issues.

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With The Mental Health Update, you'll get practical mental health information, tips, and new ways to view the world. Especially now, with people reeling from the effects of the COVID 19 pandemic, we need trusted voices telling it like it is.

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Feel Less Annoyed Today By Understanding This One Thing

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