Can't decide? A strange but effective way to think about decisions

Can't decide? A strange but effective way to think about decisions
One of the most frustrating aspects of anxiety is that it can be hard to make decisions.
When I’m at my most anxious, decisions become almost impossible.
I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and then I feel that there are extra weights on top of the world…that is on my shoulders.
But I learned something surprisingly useful over the years, and it has greatly reduced the weight I feel when making decisions.
It comes down to the difference between decisions and choices.
——-
Support The Mental Health Update
If you buy something through one of these links, I’ll get a small percentage to fund the hours of work I put into this content every week. Thank you for considering.
I read this book about anxiety years ago when I was in the hospital for depression and major anxiety / OCD.
It really helped me out.
Now on to today’s featured programming.
——-

Decision? Or Choice? When You Can't Make a Decision...
A lot of the time when I’m stuck trying to decide something, I’m actually making a choice.
I don’t actually need to make a big decision at all.
What do I mean by this?
There are going to be times in your life when you need to make a decision.
What do I want to pursue for a job?
Do I want to go on a second date with this person?
Should I buy this car or that one?
These are decisions, and depending on who you are, they can be fairly big ones.
There are potentially negative consequences for anything that you choose with a decision like these.
And making a decision leads to getting a lot of data in response–data you can use to then, hopefully, make better decisions in the future.
But, the more I thought about the anxiety I’ve had in my life, the more I’ve realized that it’s not about decision-making that I typically feel so bad.
It’s about choice-making.
By choice-making, I mean the loads and loads of mundane things that happen to us every single day.
Should I watch this or that?
Should I read this next or do this instead?
Do I answer the phone when my friend calls out of the blue or do I let it go?
These are common situations that have caused me tremendous anxiety.
Why??
For one, they catch me off guard a bit.
I haven’t had the time to fully prepare for them. No clear process went into deciding what to do.
You see, with big decisions, it’s usually not the case that we don’t know what to do. Usually, the right way to go with a big decision is pretty darn obvious.
No, it’s the little choices every day that gnaw at you like tiny bugs that just won’t leave you alone.
Do I want to cook something, or should I order out?
Do I have time to send these emails?
Should I send these emails?
A multitude of questions fills up my mind each day.
And it is this multitude that most causes me anxiety.
So what is a person to do about this?
What does it even matter if you recognize that you’re struggling with little choices and not big decisions?
Actually, it matters quite a bit.
When You Can't Decide, Try This
Corn? Or...corn? Darn it!
Corn? Or...corn? Darn it!
When you’re dealing with decision anxiety, first, you need to determine if you are making a big decision or a small choice.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What is the long-term impact of this? Is it big or small?
Will it impact me for years or moments?
Is there a clear process I can follow to make a decision or is this one of those little things where any old choice is probably fine?
If it’s a big decision, there are actually tons of resources you could use to help you with that process–and you could probably do a Google search to find them. You probably know of many decision-making tools already.
But if it’s a minor choice, then you need to do something else.
It’s the minor choices we don’t talk about enough.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned about choices is that they–wait for it–don’t really matter that much.
Before you go all Mount Vesuvius on me with fumes of anger, hear me out.
It probably doesn’t matter if I send an email or read a book.
It probably is not a big deal if I answer the phone or don’t.
What matters is that I commit to just one thing–and do it.
The Pomodoro technique has worked wonders for me–I set a timer for 25 minutes and just commit to one thing.
Nothing eases anxiety like action.
For little choices, action is better than rumination.
When I get stuck thinking for minutes on end, I’m usually stuck in a loop that action could break me out of.
Of course, you can find exceptions for anything. Twitter users remind me of this daily when I tweet literally anything at all.
But the decision vs. choice framework has been so helpful for me when indecision is causing me anxiety.
When I can’t decide, I first think about what I’m deciding on.
And more often than not, I realize that what I’m worrying about really doesn’t matter all that much.
I realize that I take myself more seriously than I need to.
Now, I know that your life is important.
The time we have here is all that we have, and we need to make the most of it.
But the next time you are feeling stuck in your thought process, I encourage you to think about thinking.
Then I encourage you to take action.
I think what you’ll find is that the mere process of taking a simple action is often enough to get you out of your indecision.
Don’t beat yourself up when you feel you can’t make a decision.
Just realize that you always have options for how you respond.
——-
I, in no way, want to minimize the big decisions you need to make in life. I just hope you think about the nature of decision-making a little differently going forward. So much of anxiety comes from flawed thinking patterns–and the lack of taking action.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for being here.
See you next week,
Jordan
P.S. Here’s a side project I’m helping out with. The design is in the early stages, but I think there’s so much potential here if you’ve ever had to search for intensive mental health treatment, whether in your own state or others. Check out Treatment Scout and let me know what you think. Would you use this? Would you find it helpful to be able to locate mental health facilities in one place?
Do you enjoy this newsletter delivered to your email every Tuesday and Thursday?
Does this newsletter enrich your life and give you the boost you need to get through your week?
Consider sending a few bucks to my Paypal or Venmo (@Jordan-Brown-555).
I spend hours putting these two newsletters together every week because I want people to have information that I wish I had when I was struggling.
Short on funds? I totally get it.
Send this sign-up link to people you think might enjoy it. No matter what you do, this newsletter will always remain free to anyone who wants to read it.
Did you enjoy this issue?
Jordan Brown - Mental Health Newsletter Writer, Poet, Social Worker, and Advocate

Authentic, actionable mental health. Improve how you feel. The Mental Health Update Mental Health Newsletter provides you with authentic mental health articles that make mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and OCD meaningful AND accessible.

This is different from typical mental health newsletters and articles about mental health challenges.

It's not just an Anxiety Email Newsletter or a Depression Email Newsletter - It's two weekly articles packed with timeless mental health wisdom and inspiration to start your day in a thoughtful, uplifting way.

I was tired of other "mental health care" newsletters blasting out generic lists of links and depression articles.

And I was especially tired of them not focusing on the everyday reality of mental health issues.

So I decided to come up with something I wanted to read.

This health newsletter is like a caring friend that just wants you to feel better.

Mental health awareness articles don't need to be all doom and gloom and filled with jargon.

With The Mental Health Update, you'll get practical mental health information, tips, and new ways to view the world. Especially now, with people reeling from the effects of the COVID 19 pandemic, we need trusted voices telling it like it is.

We discuss topics like anxiety, depression, OCD, the mental health to mental illness spectrum, social and communication skills, and much, much more.

This is what a few subscribers had to say about The Mental Health Update:

"If you haven't yet subscribed to Jordan's mental health newsletter, you absolutely should. It's chock full of good stuff to read and will help make your day better. Not unlike a daily vitamin for your mental health and soul..." - JR

"Encouragement from someone who has “been there” when it comes to mental health struggles. Comes in the form of stories and simple, actionable tips for reframing and working with - and through - your issues. One of the few newsletters that has survived my ruthless inbox decluttering sprees. Highly recommended!" - Kelila

"Jordan's mental health update is a welcomed email in my inbox. It often provides me with a chance to break from the mundane tasks of working in an office and take a moment for myself to hear his thoughtful and well put together thoughts on many aspects of mental health. As someone who works in the psychology field it's often a nice reminder and way of grounding myself to all the great work that's going on and the journey we all must take in supporting mental health. Thank you Jordan!" - Rob

I take my no-spam policy very seriously. I consider it a mental health obligation to not abuse your trust or raise your anxiety.

Newsletter articles sent on Tuesday and Thursday.

In order to unsubscribe, click here.
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Powered by Revue
Missoula, MT

Older messages

KNOW what to do next in life with this effective approach.

Tuesday, November 16, 2021

If you've ever anxiously asked, "What do I DO with my life?" ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

I really need your help.

Friday, November 12, 2021

Read if you value my mental health emails. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

My all-time favorite mental model 🧠

Friday, November 12, 2021

I use it almost every day to make good decisions. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

How I Protect My Energy

Friday, November 12, 2021

4 Steps. Do them in order. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

My Core Values (The MHU Manifesto)

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

It's embarrassing how one value started... ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

You Might Also Like

That Damned Elusive Parking Spot

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Also a coffee shop bathroom, and not knowing what we really want ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

That Damned Elusive Parking Spot

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Also a coffee shop bathroom, and not knowing what we really want ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

NBC Proves the Media Can't Save Democracy

Thursday, March 28, 2024

The decision to hi former RNC chair is a symptom of a larger problem ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

Game, Set, Muscle

Thursday, March 28, 2024

The more sets the better isn't a rule for weight training, a healthy lifestyle can boost cognitive reserves and your weekly recommendations. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

118 weeks and I almost stopped

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Go through the motions ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

The way you dress and the books you read

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Skimm'd with a new book — Check out what we Skimm'd for you today Subscribe Read in browser March 28, 2024 Daily Skimm Skimm'd with a new book Update location or View forecast “Why wouldn

"Red-Shouldered Hawk" by Ciona Rouse

Thursday, March 28, 2024

We met in the middle of the street only to discuss Facebook Twitter Instagram Support Poem-a-Day March 28, 2024 Red-Shouldered Hawk Ciona Rouse We met in the middle of the street only to discuss the

The 'Kitty Cut' Is Poised To Be 2024's #1 Haircut Trend

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Run, don't walk to your stylist. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Shopping on Amazon Is About to Get Even Worse

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

How to Make Sure Your Solar Eclipse Glasses Actually Work. I don't need to tell you that Amazon's search results keep getting worse and worse. Now, Amazon has decided to pour AI-powered jet

The Women Who Run Harlem

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

What's new today on the Cut — covering style, self, culture, and power, plus interviews, profiles, columns, and commentary from our editors. Brand Logo WEDNESDAY, MARCH 27 power The Women Who Run