Vespers

^{after a promise by Staceyann Chin}

Because I don’t
             have to anymore, 
I pray for you
             who never had to 
be—& wonder 
             what god might
damn that girl 
             to labor through
another man’s 
             command to 
create anything
             but herself. 
Who’s to say   
             what might
have arrived
             instead of me?
Holy is what
             happens when
there’s nothing    
             between your belief
& what you do.
             Holy is the savior
I was taught
             would come
eventually, but
             looking back
was you. Blessed 
             be that parking lot—
its early, empty
             peace—& blessed 
be the ring of keys
             who made her 
rounds & kept 
             you feeling safe.
Blessed be
             the woman I
would meet
             & not have to
become; praises 
             for this sleeping
child we chose
               & what new mercies
time divulged: nurse
             at your shoulder, 
doctor at your 
             feet: then’s only, 
holy trinity
             that made this 
life complete.

Copyright © 2021 by Meg Day. Originally published in Poem-a-Day on December 16, 2021, by the Academy of American Poets.

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“I drafted this poem as Texas was implementing its current (as of this writing) and near-total ban on abortions, which includes incentives for private citizens to enforce the law themselves by pursuing legal action against others. My immediate circles were abuzz with organized responses and fundraising, but also with conflict around language. It’s my feeling that gender, and its many names, often distracts us from mobilizing against the true culprit causing harm. Power tends to work this way, pitting kin against kin to keep its hands clean. Vespers, for me, have long moved out of the twilight liturgy and into the realm of the bedtime prayer: private, reflective, grateful. It’s a tradition that welcomes us back to our core convictions and, for me, to our shared fight forward: safe, legal, and gender-affirming abortion that is accessible to all people, everywhere.”
—Meg Day