What I Learned From Pretending to Be Rich and Cool Online

For better or worse, I grew up online. By the age of 7, I had developed a love for reading, but my mom’s nursing school kicked into full gear right when AOL CDs began piling at the foot of our mail slot. What an iPad is to an unruly toddler now, our hefty Gateway PC was to us then: sitting me in front of a computer was the easiest form of child care. My first username foreshadowed how I would pretend my way through the internet from that time onward. I chose “PrincessCandy241” — princess because even then I wanted to be adored; candy for the treat I was almost never allowed to have; 241 because the AOL algorithm suggested it.

Testing rape kits can deliver exonerations, closure, and cost savings. So why does it take so long to do? See Longreads’ picks for the best features of the year, and the Times’ picks for best poetry. New York City mayor-elect Eric Adams doubled down on maintaining the practice of solitary confinement at Rikers, despite serious public-health concerns. Rhetorical question: Why are people like this (and this) (and this)? The cream-cheese shortage is no joke: Kraft will pay you $20 not to make cheesecake for Christmas. Anna North makes a good point: The world as we know it is ending, so why are we still at work? And great news: Procrastination isn’t all bad.

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