This is the Sunday Edition of Paging Dr. Lesbian. If you like this type of thing, subscribe, and share it with your friends!

This week I’m pleased to share within another guest column written by Jasmine James. Jasmine is a former professional pop culture journalist and media critic from the UK who one day aims to create her own TV show. Her favourite men's soccer team is Wolves, the most underrated team in the Prem. Tell her your sports opinions or guess her favourite female soccer player on Instagram @softjasmo.

Enjoy!

In 2021, “they’re lesbians, Stacey” joined the pantheon of “ways we’ve clowned on people mistaking lesbianism for close friendship.” 

Owing to a tweet by a woman named Stacey, who mistook a tender, on-field moment between Australian women’s national team soccer player Sam Kerr and her girlfriend, US women’s national team player Kristie Mewis, as platonic, you can find this meme-worthy moment down the hall, on the left, next to “Harold, they’re lesbians” and “gals being pals.”

The photos of Sam and Kristie made international news headlines, with the Daily Mail, Insider, and The Telegraph all covering the story. Unfortunately for homophobes and other assorted haters, though, gay women in soccer aren’t going anywhere and neither is the impact that they have on the sport.

The Importance of On-Pitch Performances and Off-Pitch Personal Lives

One criticism of coverage of these gay soccer relationships is that the womens’ on-pitch performances should take precedence over their off-pitch personal lives and that it degrades both them, and the sport, to discuss their romantic relationships.

In response to Insider reporter Meredith Cash’s tweet including the iconic Kerr x Kristie photos, one Twitter user asked “what business is it of ours?” while another wondered if the couple would perhaps prefer to keep such moments between them. The Athletic, the subscription-based sports publication which has devoted several inches of online column space to LGBTQ+ issues in sport and has included the famous Stacey tweet in its women’s soccer roundups, has also faced backlash. In a time where female soccer players are pushing for credibility, equal pay, and improved prize money, does it not hurt these efforts to look at their love lives?

There is some truth to this. Who scored a goal, made a crucial save, or completed a perfectly-timed slide tackle on an in-form striker are what (most of us) came to see and why we love the beautiful game and the people who play it, even if they are unfortunately straight. However, the intensity of these great sporting moments is added to by the off-pitch drama, something perfectly captured in this tweet from Twitter user “lowerbodyinjury”.

graph enjoyer @lowerbodyinjury

I don’t think you all get the joy that is women’s sports. imagine your favorite men’s sports team but two of them are married to each other. also one is married to the captain of a rival team. also one of them has dated eleven other players creating a complicated web of exes.

October 2nd 2021

557 Retweets4,375 Likes

Kristie Mewis having to tackle her new girlfriend (Kerr) during a Bronze-medal match at the Olympics, goalkeeper Ann-Katrin Berger and girlfriend Jess Carter being part of the almighty Chelsea defence that saw them beat Arsenal in the Women’s FA Cup final without conceding a goal, or coronavirus guidelines meaning that Lucy Bronze’s long-awaited return from injury for Manchester City was delayed after her girlfriend and Man City teammate Keira Walsh tested positive for coronavirus, forcing her to isolate.

These are all amazing moments that would have undoubtedly been made lesser, or not have happened, without the relationships between these players.

How Gay Relationships in Soccer Are a Moneymaker, Too

While we know that teams’ trophy cabinets can be improved just by including gay players, a team’s finances can be affected by the gay relationships in its squad too.

This summer, one of the most-talked-about trades in the NWSL (National Women’s Soccer League) was that of Ali Krieger and Ashlyn Harris from the Orlando Pride to NJ/NY Gotham FC. The couple, who got married in 2019 and welcomed a daughter in 2021, had been living and playing soccer in Orlando, FL. for the last six years and their Spirit and USWNT (US women’s national team) teammate Sydney Leroux officiated their wedding. 

However, speaking to Just Women’s Sports, Harris explained that it’s “really hard living in Florida as a gay couple with a Black child who has a really difficult governor (Governor Ron DeSantis) who isn’t progressive and isn’t accepting of our community and every day it’s something new and something harmful.” The east coast’s reputation as a “progressive place to live” was a factor in their decision to switch teams.

Shortly after announcing the transfer on Twitter, the official Gotham FC account also shared an image of the couple and their daughter, Sloane, holding up jerseys (the post remains the account’s pinned tweet). On the team’s official site, Krieger and Harris also feature prominently in a banner calling for fans to spend money on a season ticket for the forthcoming NWSL season. As UWSNT players, they have an appeal, but as a couple of superstars, Krieger and Harris have real money-making potential.

When it comes to transfer rumours, players in long-term relationships are speculated about together, and with good reason. In May 2017, Dutch international Vivianne Miedema moved from Bayern Munich to Arsenal, where she has since become the leading goalscorer in the English women’s domestic league (the FAWSL). In June 2017, Miedema’s partner and Scotland international Lisa Evans also moved from the German team to become a Gooner herself, with their relationship no doubt being a factor in that decision. 

We saw this again in the summer of 2020 when (USWNT players and rumoured partners) Christen Press and Tobin Heath joined Manchester United together. Also in 2020, Danish international Pernille Harder joined Chelsea from Wolfsburg in what was the biggest transfer fee in women’s soccer at the time, to join partner Magdalena Eriksson. (Eriksson joined the Blues in 2017). Harder told the BBC that Eriksson being at Chelsea isn’t what made her join, but acknowledged that she saw it as “a plus” when making her decision.

In fact, athletes in gay relationships don’t even have to be playing the same sport to be used in team promotions. In 2018, lesbian power couple Sue Bird of the Seattle Storm and  Megan Rapinoe of the USWNT and OL Reign were featured in the “Reign Storm” campaign. This saw their faces on billboards together while fans had the opportunity to win Bird and Rapinoe posters, get autographs and meet Reign players before a Storm game and vice versa. Seattle’s sports teams really gave the gays what they want.

Players’ Personal Lives Have Always Mattered

You probably won’t be surprised to learn that the backlash against gay relationships in women’s soccer and the coverage of their sexualities comes down to both misogyny and homophobia.

The personal lives of professional soccer players have always been a topic of discussion. From the marriage of Posh and Becks (Victoria “Posh Spice” from the Spice Girls and soccer player David Beckham) to the wives and girlfriends of players (WAGs) who were a “circus” of distraction for the England men’s team at the 2006 World Cup. Former Chelsea player and England international John Terry also caused a scandal when he cheated on his wife by sleeping with the ex-girlfriend of his England teammate Wayne Bridge, which resulted in Terry having the Chelsea and England captaincies stripped from him. This is just a small handful of stories about players’ personal lives, but every week, there are fresh topics to talk about.

Fans of the men’s game seemingly have little issue with discussing the men’s private lives and if it had anything to do with protecting player privacy and not just casual hypocrisy, their reluctance to discuss gay female relationships in soccer would almost be admirable. 

Instead, it’s just another way that female soccer players are held to impossible double standards. Female athletes continue to be judged – from their bodies to their athletic abilities, from their revenue to their love lives – and it seems that the only way to win, truly, is on the field.

Follow Jasmine on Instagram.

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