Gawker - I live for you, I long for you, Olivia

By Olivia Craighead

Not all Olivias are made equal

Since 2019, the most popular name for baby girls has been Olivia. In 20 years, you won’t be able to throw a rock without hitting a college junior named Olivia. Derived from the Latin word for “olive,” most people seem to agree that Olivia means “peace.” The name is also, quietly, very common among celebrities. Wilde, Munn, Newton-John, Rodrigo; as you are soon to find out, the list is long.

But some Olivias are more Olivia than others. Just like Jane connotes plainess and Alex (girl version) connotes cool, Olivia has its own energy. As an Olivia myself, I would love to say that the name is associated with grace and intelligence, but that is not the case if we look at the evidence. Based on which Olivias have gotten famous, it is a name that calls to mind a less smart Tracy Flick. She wants love and adoration, will stop at nothing to get it, but often ends up embarrassing herself in the process. Despite that, she usually winds up on top because she is aware enough to make one good joke about herself. Olivianess is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is usually an annoying one.

For some people, the name just fits. Olivia Wilde, for example, is a true Olivia. Jennifer Lawrence circa her Oscar win was also very Olivia, even though her name is Jennifer. Everyone turning on Anne Hathaway was a direct result of her having Olivia energy. On the other hand, Olivia Colman is not very Olivia, in the same way that Kate Winslet is not an Olivia. Are you keeping up? Continue reading

By Tarpley Hitt

He has the right to remain silent, and yet...

I am not qualified to offer legal advice, but here is some: If you are an allegedly polyamorous effective altruist under investigation from at least four federal bodies for possible fraud, you should not tweet. If you made billions off of a crypto exchange and its affiliate hedge fund, then fell from grace in one of the most dramatic financial explosions since Enron, you should also not talk to the media. You should shut up and let your lawyers handle the talking part, even if they are best known for representing Bernie Madoff’s sons. This is good advice — so good, in fact, that it is the first, constitutionally required, and arguably only valuable thing cops say upon placing you under arrest.

I am, however, qualified to give media advice. And I think Sam Bankman-Fried, the disgraced FTX-founder whom the previous paragraph is about, should absolutely keep posting. Keep talking, please. You’re doing great king. Bankman-Fried has tweeted through the two-week collapse of his crypto empire; he has also spoken to journalists — twice. First, he talked to the New York Times, in an exceedingly generous interview on Monday. Now, he’s spoken with Vox reporter Kelsey Piper, in a much less generous exchange. Continue reading

By Olivia Craighead

Or is she just dumb?

Last night the Los Angeles mayor’s race was called, and Karen Bass defeated Rick Caruso to become the city’s first woman mayor. This is great news for the city and horrible news for some of the most empty-headed celebrities on the planet. Caruso, who outspent Bass 11 to 1, has some very dumb friends in very high places, and several of them showed up in his Instagram comments last night to declare that LA would spiral into Mad Max territory now that the guy who built The Grove won’t be in charge.

Among them were American Idol runner-up and outed Republican Katharine McPhee, who has long stumped for the man who was a registered GOP member until he decided he wanted to be mayor. She decided to make a bold claim that borders on election denial. Continue reading

By Claire Carusillo

She says her words are being misconstrued as Jojo Siwa doubles down

Candace Cameron Bure is tired of the anti-anti-LGBTQIA+ hate speech being lobbed at her from the Siwanators and the Sweetinators, especially so close to what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life (besides the rapture), the November 27 release of her new agitprop film Great American Family Presents: Candace Cameron Bure Presents: A Christmas…Present. Instead of venting in one of her stunning, proprietary Dayspring by Candace Cameron Bure devotional journals, however, god’s smuggest warrior spilled to Page Six.

Via a “lengthy statement” from her publicist, Bure claims that her words are being misconstrued by a powerful bloc of lolers on Twitter, One Tree Hill’s Hilarie Burton, and heretic bloggers with blatant pro-Joj agendos: Continue reading

By Kelly Conaboy

[Sitcom crowd ooooOoooh noise]

Which came first, the DeuxMoi blind item or the relationship with Pete Davidson? We’ll no doubt have to ask this question over and over again, until our creaky old bones give out and we evaporate into a poof of dust that will hastily be swept into the feed tubes of our fellow pod members. This time, if you ask sources close to Emily Ratajkowski, the answer is: the pair had been dating for “a couple of months” before we got the DeuxNews. Okay. And now we have visual evidence!

The new “couple” were spotted together by paparazzi in NYC on Wednesday night, after Davidson arrived at Ratajkowski’s West Village apartment. The two were headed for a night on the town, but, according to TMZ, Davidson got spooked by the pap throng and fled, forcing Ratajkowski to take a car to Brooklyn, where she and her prince were once again reunited. It is a love story admittedly better than the one in the last Pete Davidson movie I watched, where Kaley Cuoco could time travel using a tanning bed. Continue reading