Jen “Odd” Glantz here! I wanted to share something a little different today. Rather than pass along odd jobs you can apply for or start on your own, I wanted to talk about a book that changed my life - and made me less passive-agressive when it came to negotiations.

Read on to find out the biggest takeaways from the book.

PS. If you’re in need of a pick-me-up, I have some good ones for you. Try out one of my best-selling interactive online courses where you receive 1:1 feedback on assignments, strategies, and game plans.

Pick from: personal branding, public speaking, or even how to start your own side hustle.

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Today’s newsletter is sponsored by an awesome tool - Sunsama

At the end of the month, all the things I procrastinated on come back around and haunt me and my to-do list. I find myself working late, unable to enjoy date nights, and staying up past my bedtime to rush to get things done.

This month was the first time, in a long time, that didn’t happen. Here’s why - I used Sunsama. They’re the only “planning assistant” that’ll act as your friend in need if you want to prevent burnout and establish a sustainable routine. It pulls your emails, calendar events, and tasks from your favorite apps into one focused view for just today and hand-holds you towards work-life balance. 

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Want an Odd Job? Become a Confident Negotiator

For the past seven years, I've worked for myself as a solopreneur. A big thing I found missing from my previous full-time job was having annual reviews where my boss would share the strengths and weaknesses of my performance. 

To make up for that, I used the month of December to take inventory of different areas that I could improve on in the new year. One of the most glaring skills I needed to work on was negotiation, since so many deals I closed with clients this year paid me less than I initially proposed. 

To help me become less of a passive-aggressive entrepreneur and more of a confident negotiator, I read the bestselling book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator (who also has a MasterClass on this topic) and Tahl Raz, an author and journalist.

It empowered me with surprising tools and techniques that I plan to use in all my negotiations going forward. Here are the five that stuck out the most.

"No" is how negotiations start, not end.

Oftentimes, I'm negotiating the price and terms of a service, whether it's a fee for a speaking engagement or six weeks' worth of consulting work for a company. I enter those conversations with a pitch of how much money I'd like to receive and hope for an automatic "yes" — which rarely happens.

It was eye-opening to read that the word "no" is the start of a negotiation, not the end of it. So often, when someone declines my first pitch, my heart starts to race, I get defensive, or I just assume the deal is over.

Instead, Voss encouraged negotiators to seek out a "no," so that they can get more clarity on what parts of the deal the other side isn't comfortable with, wants to change, or simply doesn't understand.

When you get a "no," he suggests following up with questions that help both parties come to a solution. For example, asking "What about this doesn't work for you?" or "What would you need to make this work?"

That can help you figure out what part of the deal might need to be edited, rearranged, or changed to get to that "yes."

Pay attention to your tone of voice.

When I'm negotiating the cost of my services with potential clients, my tone of voice can show hints of frustration and even gets louder if the point I'm trying to get across is rejected.

Managing your tone of voice is one of the first things mentioned in the book. It not only sets the stage for how your negotiation can go but can also disarm the other person — especially if they come to the table with a more aggressive approach. 

Voss recommended a simple yet powerful technique for engaging in a conversation where you know your tone might get intense or defensive: Smile. 

Smiling can not only change how your voice sounds but also shows the other person that you're in a positive frame of mind. When they see that, Voss says they are more likely to collaborate and change how they approach the negotiation terms. 

While he recommends using this easygoing voice as your default one in tough conversations, you can also occasionally use what he calls a "late-night DJ voice" when you want to make a strong point. The use of a calm and slow tone can give you an air of trust.

Try letting the other person start first.

When I hop on a call to negotiate a price for one of my services, I often start off the conversation by sharing a proposal that details all of my requests.

Voss said it's okay to try an approach called anchoring, where you let the other party share their offer first, in case it's higher than what you had planned to ask.

This is especially helpful to me in situations where I'm working with a corporate client who might have a big budget — I might not be able to guess how much they are willing to pay for my service.

Voss did warn that when you let the other party share their expectations and pricing first, you could hear a number way lower than what you planned for. In those cases, the negotiation might require additional techniques, like finding a middle ground or even getting the other party to agree to other perks or accommodations. 

Ask carefully calibrated questions.

When I enter negotiations, I find myself so nervous that I end up just rambling and hardly ever pause to ask anything.

Voss recommended asking carefully assessed questions that can make your counterpart feel more in charge, even though you're the one guiding the conversation. Some examples include:

• What about this is important to you?

• How can I help to make this better for us?

• How can we solve this problem?

• How am I supposed to do that?

All of these ask your counterpart for help and get them to start solving a problem to push the negotiation forward — and closer to a solution.

Remember the 7-38-55 rule, which prioritizes body language.

While it can often feel like negations are mainly based on words, they surprisingly hold far less weight than I realized. Voss referenced a method created by Albert Mehrabian, a professor of psychology, called the 7-38-55 rule, which states that 7% of a message is verbal communication, 38% comes from the tone of voice, and 55% is delivered through the speaker's body language and facial expressions. 

Understanding this helped me realize the importance of paying attention to my body language (keeping a good posture and maintaining eye contact) and tone of voice (swapping an aggressive tone for the "radio DJ" one). 

Grab the book - it's worth it!

The bottom line

As someone who works for myself, personal development is something I have to seek out to advance in my career. The tools I got from reading "Never Split the Difference" not only felt like I took a detailed online course about negotiation, but helped me visualize and strategize how to approach these skills in 2023.  

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The Odd List of Random Things

🤔 Add to your life:

Books & Stuff:

A fun little list of all the things that I adore the most in this world - from books to oddities for your desk.

Tools: Here are some of my go-to platforms to use.

The best course platform

An awesome email provider

How I built my website

AI software

Time management and to-do list management tool I use daily

Random:

These things are always good to keep handy

The most delicious healthy pick-me-up soda. I love the root beer, cola, and cream soda flavors the most.

When I need a good gift for someone, I send them a wine subscription or a treat from this site. If they are engaged, this is the ultimate gift to send.

Other newsletters to enjoy: Monday Pick-Me-Up, The Gist (if you love sports), Morning Brew (all your news in one spot).

🙂 Work With Jen Glantz:

👏1:1 coaching: I specialize in working with people who want to switch careers, start their own business, improve their personal brand, or are feeling lost in life. Book a session and let’s work together this month.

👏Courses: Want a quick pick-me-up? I offer a handful of digital courses that include videos, assignments, and real-time personalized feedback from me along the way. Check them out here - the most popular one is the personal branding course.

👏Company workshops & speaking: I offer company workshops and conference keynotes on topics that include personal branding, social media trends, storytelling, and more. I’ve worked with Google, Apple, HBO, ESPN, and more. Learn more here.

Advertise: Want to showcase your business or brand in one of my newsletters or on my social media? Let’s chat about open opportunities.

+ Random:

Books // Card Game // Bridesmaid for Hire // Scared to Be a Mom // Shop

Instagram // TikTok // Podcast

🥳Jen Glantz is the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, host of the podcast You’re Not Getting Any Younger, and the creator of The Pick-Me-Up newsletter. She offers 1:1 coaching and company workshops. Follow her adventures on Instagram @jenglantz.