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Female Health & Fertility is a new digital magazine and online hub created to support women and non-binary people who are affected by gynecological and reproductive issues. Its magazine content focuses on all stages of the reproductive cycle, from young adults to post-menopausal folks and its features are written by gynecologists, clinicians, therapists, nutritionists, researchers, and also readers who are sharing their lived experiences.

I write a monthly column called ‘Pleasure Principles with Almaz’, which appears in the digital magazine each month. I also publish it in full here for ‘She Dares To Say’ readers.

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Self-pleasure can help relieve pain from gynae health conditions

When you have an orgasm your body releases endorphins, which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good. This can be beneficial for anyone experiencing depression and/or anxiety due to reproductive health issues such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis or hormone imbalances.

Because the clitoris is a whole organ that snugly fits around the vagina and bladder, that becomes erect and swollen with blood when in an aroused state, masturbating increases blood flow to your whole reproductive area. Reaching orgasm can help relax all the muscles in that area too. This is in addition to your body releasing all the feel good chemicals such as endorphins and oxytocin which react with receptors in the brain and change how we experience pain.

If you do experience regular pain from PCOS, endometriosis or your menstrual cycle in general you might not feel particularly connected to your sensual side due to often feeling uncomfortable sensations in your body. But it is worth taking the time to pleasure yourself as studies have shown that women’s pain tolerance can greatly increase when self-stimulation resulted in orgasms.[1]

Masturbate however you like

You can simply use imagination and your hands. Or you can bring a sex toy or two into the mix along with your favourite fantasies. You might prefer to watch some ethical porn on your computer while you touch yourself, or listen to some audio porn or read some erotica out loud or in your head. There is no right or wrong way to get yourself off.

If you’re feeling especially disconnected from your body it might be worth seeking some extra help. You could book in for a yoni massage (yoni is a Sanskrit word and loosely translates to ‘a sacred space’), a sexual tantra practice that involves massaging the vagina and surrounding area gently and intentionally while the receiver focuses on the sensations that they’re feeling along with controlling their breathing. The massage awakens lots of the nerves in that area and relaxes the muscles and often leads to multiple orgasms. If you have a partner you could ask them to give you this kind of massage.

While masturbation probably won’t fully cure the physical pain of some reproductive issues, nor the psychic pain caused by things like anxiety and depression, it's one free and easy step – with no prescription required – towards feeling better than you did before that orgasm. 

[1] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0304395985901642, ‘Elevation of pain threshold by vaginal stimulation in women’

Next month’s column will look at navigating sex with a new partner(s) and dating when you have a gynae condition that's affecting your body image / self love 

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Throughout November I’m partnering with Oli Lipski (AKA ‘The Queer Sensualist’), a sex, relationships and intimacy coach to run my series of four workshops online via Zoom. And ‘She Dares To Say’ readers can get 20% off their ticket price by using the following discount code: ALMAZ20

WORKSHOP DETAILS

Workshop 1: Writing Romance | Wednesday 8 November 2023 | 19:30–20:45 (GMT)

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Originally run as a dynamic hen-do activity ‘Writing Romance’ workshop has been specially developed with all levels of literary skills in mind.

• Perfect the art of storytelling by learning how to harness some of your own experiences, secrets, and fantasies to create engaging narratives

• Craft realistic characters with credible backstories, alongside developing entertaining (read, steamy) story arcs

• Six-page printable companion workbook outlining key storytelling techniques; including tips on sketching characters, plotting narratives, writing dialogue and avoiding (or subverting) common tropes

What peeps have said about ‘Writing Romance’:

“It was a great introduction and helped me to begin with my idea of writing erotic short stories, what I had in mind for so long time. I’m very grateful for the worksheet, which will help me to stay tuned with that idea. I would definitely recommend your workshop.” – Anna, online workshop participant

“What seemed like it could’ve been very awkward and embarrassing actually ended up being really fun, thought-provoking and exciting! Would definitely recommend to friends, it was so great to do something different!” – Jenny, hen party guest

Book now

Workshop 2: Cultivating Consent Culture | Wednesday 15 November 2023 | 19:30–20:45 (GMT)

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• Defining consent

• Tips on how to purposefully let your partner(s) know what you like, and what you don’t

• Practical advice on how to spot consent issues across different real-life situations

• Six-page printable companion workbook defining consent, listing examples of both verbal and non-verbal signs of consent and non-consent, exercises to practice purposefully verbalising pleasure, desires and boundaries

What peeps have said about ‘Cultivating Consent Culture’:

“It was great! I liked how open it was and people felt they could voice their thoughts in a safe space.” – Anon., online workshop participant

“The use of current material made it fresh and pointed to the reality of the topics currently being discussed widely at present.” – Anon., online workshop participant

Book now

Workshop 3: Improving Intimacy | Wednesday 22 November 2023 | 19:30–20:45 (GMT)

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• Pleasure and anatomy 101 – female-assigned bodies, male-assigned bodies, differences between biological sex and gender expression

• Tips for better and more purposeful communication

• Routes for experimenting with different elements of your sex life

• Eight-page printable companion workbook revising anatomy and pleasure points, help discovering erogenous zones and tips for introducing new sexual practices into your repertoire

What peeps have said about ‘Improving Intimacy Part I’:

“I really enjoyed the session and learnt a lot about female-assigned anatomy that I didn’t realise I didn’t know. I also really liked how diverse and inclusive the session was in terms of both anatomy shown and different identities.” – Anon., online workshop participant

“What I am very happy about is that from your workshop my partner and I had an hour-long chat about sex etc. It was really important and something we were both too scared to talk about. So the workshop was a massive success for us.” – Anon., online workshop participant

Book now

Workshop 4: Improving Intimacy Part II | Wednesday 29 November 2023 | 19:30–20:45 (GMT)

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• Learn how trust and clear communication can help push exciting sexual boundaries.

• Leaning into introspection and self-knowledge, discover your sexual potential

• Work up to sharing your explicit materials preferences and sexual bucket list with your partner(s).

• Six-page printable companion workbook with cut-out-and-keep ‘Sex Menu’, ethical pornography outlet recommendations for all genders and sex toy reviews and recommendations for all genders

What peeps have said about ‘Improving Intimacy Part II’:

“The workshop with Almaz was a perfect hen activity, especially for hens who might not want a butler in the buff but do want to add a little bit of naughty nudity. Almaz made us feel comfortable from the start and led a conversation about sex from a female lens which is often left out! It was a light-hearted but informative session about sex, pleasure and female empowerment.” – Anon. in-person hen party guest

“When I joined Almaz’s workshop, I felt welcomed into an environment where people were able to speak about sexual intimacy openly, honestly and with positivity. Just being present for that was a positive experience for me, let alone some of the unexpected things I learned about sex toys, indie porn sites and affiliate links!” – Anon., online workshop participant

Book now

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I’m Almaz Ohene, a Creative Copywriter, Freelance Journalist and Accidental Sexpert.
Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs.