This content is not behind a paywall, but since it takes time to create and upload each piece, do please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’ (especially if this project is something that you value, and you have the means to do so), which is either billed monthly at £3.79 or annually at £34.99.

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[Image description: Text ‘Considering My Crushes No. 01’ on a lilac background]

When I trailered this season’s new content strands in the newsletter ‘#34: ‘She Dares To Say’ season 3 announcement’, I revealed that I’m someone who’s experienced crushes frequently and intensely – ever since I was about five – and that my earliest crushes included Peter Pan from the 1990s animated kids TV show Peter Pan & the Pirates, Billy Kennedy from Aussie soap Neighbours, Damon Albarn, Blur’s frontman, Ernst Robinson from the 1960s Disney live-action film Swiss Family Robsinson and, inexplicably, US President Bill Clinton in the Lewinsky Scandal era.

[Image description: Almaz’s earliest crushes; clockwise: Damon Albarn, Blur’s frontman, Billy Kennedy from Aussie soap ‘Neighbours’, Peter Pan from the 1990s animated kids TV show ‘Peter Pan & the Pirates’, US President Bill Clinton and Ernst Robinson from the 1960s Disney live-action film ‘Swiss Family Robinson’]

So let me unpack some of this…

During the last couple of years, I’ve been running a sexuality survey and the question that generates the richest answers is no. 14: “Is there anything you can remember that sparked your sexual / intimate desires, e.g. a certain person / a film / a song / an advert?” Seeing the wonderfully broad range of sparks that respondents have listed has meant that I have a much keener awareness of my own earliest juicy memories.

As a very young child during the 90s, I’d watch the animated kid’s show Peter Pan & the Pirates (most of the episodes are actually up on YouTube) on the TV and felt like I wanted to hang out with Peter Pan, catch his attention and be his sick-kick-cum-love-interest. I was ‘attracted’ to his spontaneity and enthusiasm for adventures and also to his boldness in the face of the tyrannical Captain Hook.

Around this time I was also very wrapped up in a ‘flirtation’ (I mean, we were only six or seven!) I had with a boy at school who sat on my table of four in the classroom. He’d serenade me with the ‘I’d Do Anything’ number from the musical Oliver!, singing ever so sweetly in his little soprano voice: “I’d risk everything // For one kiss, everything // Yes, I’d do anything // Anything for you!”, pucker his lips and lean across the table towards me. Sometimes, if the teacher wasn’t watching, I’d turn my cheek toward him and let him kiss it. Of course, breaktimes would mean mischievous pecks on the lips, but not before we’d taken extra precaution and hidden ourselves under the cover of our coats.

During the summer of 1997 when I was eight, I spent a lot of time glued to the TV in the wake of my youngest sister’s birth. My viewing habits were sometimes unsupervised because my parents were busy with the new baby, so I was catching bits of everything, not only children’s cartoons but Top of the Pops, soap operas, and news bulletins, too.

I’d feel something fluttery inside when I watched Damon Albarn jump about and gurn into his microphone. Usually chattering away nineteen-to-the-dozen and clambering up and down the living room furniture while watching TV, whenever Blur came on I’d be rendered still and speechless, eyes fixed on the box. The same would happen whenever Billy Kennedy was in episodes of Neighbours. And also, when Ernst was on the screen when we watched Swiss Family Robinson together as a family at the weekends.

Looking back now, I can see that all of those boys I was crushing on were of a particular physical type; white and skinny and cute.

But then, in January 1998, just as I was about to turn nine, the Clinton–Lewinsky scandal broke. It had been discovered that US President Bill Clinton, who was forty-nine at the time, with a wife and daughter, had been sexually involved with twenty-two-year-old White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Full details of how he’d persuaded her to perform fellatio on him were broadcast across all global news outlets for weeks on end.

At school, we’d gossip excitedly about all the gross details. The idea that the most powerful man in the world had demanded that an attractive young women suck his penis was beyond titillating for me and my peers. At the time, we were going through a prolonged phase where breaktimes had become a competitive forum in which we’d all run around the playground loudly and frenetically listing all the people that we fancied (low-stakes), would kiss (high-stakes), or ‘do it’ with (outrageous!) once we were grown-up. The names of both the famous and people we knew ­personally – including teaching assistants and classmates’ older siblings – would be blurted out to a scandalised audience of peers. So, since ‘doing it’ was what we thought about ALL the time, I’d imagine the Clinton–Lewinsky scene in my head often, replacing Lewinsky for myself.

I hope that I won’t get judged too harshly if I admit I had a secret crush on US President Bill Clinton right up until I was almost 30…

Next time in ‘Considering my Crushes’ I describe my incredible frustration at the casting choices of Sirius Black (played by Gary Oldman) and Kingsley Shacklebolt (played by George Harris) in the Harry Potter films; I had imagined them as drop-dead gorgeous while reading the books and was very mad that the visuals didn’t match up I saw the films in the cinema.

[Image description: promo banner for Almaz’s Developing Sexual Expression and understanding intimacy workshops with dates struck through]

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the remaining events in this online series have now been cancelled. Attendees will see their tickets refunded in the next couple of days. If there’s enough interest, I’ll re-schedule online workshops 2, 3 and 4, so please get in touch via email to let me know if this is something that you guys would like.

[Image description: promo banner for Almaz’s Developing Sexual Expression and understanding intimacy workshops]

And if you’d like to book me for an in-person event like a hen party or baby shower, or as a fun interlude at a sex ed/sensuality event, do get in touch via email. All workshop participants will receive a printable PDF companion workbook with tips and exercises to try out at home. Here’s a link to a previous mailout where I described the raucous fun we had at a hen party where I ran the Improving Intimacy workshop for a group of women:

#32: Hen party with a twist Almaz Ohene · Jul 5 Read full story

More workshops info here

[Image description: Text ‘POSTSCRIPT’]

The ‘POSTSCRIPT’ segment for paid subscribers will drop on Wednesday 22 November and will include more specifics about why I fancied the people mentioned above. To receive this extra mailout you’ll need to upgrade to a paid subscription, which is either billed monthly at £3.79, or annually at £34.99.

[Image description: Text ‘PRODUCED BY’]

I’m Almaz Ohene, a Creative Copywriter, Freelance Journalist and Accidental Sexpert.
Previous mailout: ‘Self-pleasure can actually help relieve pain from reproductive health conditions’

Available for commissions. Info via almazohene.com/contact-faqs.

This content is not behind a paywall, but since it takes time to create and upload each piece, do please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘She Dares to Say’ (especially if this project is something that you value, and you have the means to do so), which is either billed monthly at £3.79 or annually at £34.99.

If you would prefer to make a one-off donation, feel free to send a contribution via PayPal.

Support

You can also show your enjoyment without spending £££, by liking, commenting or sharing 😃