3-2-1: On friendship, the secret to focus, and how to cultivate a good life

Happy 3-2-1 Thursday!

Who is planning to read Atomic Habits to start the new year? If you're looking for a last-minute gift for someone (or for yourself!) click here to see the best deals and grab a copy right now.

And now, here are 3 ideas, 2 quotes, and 1 question to consider this week...

I.

"The information you consume each day is the soil from which your future thoughts are grown."

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​II.

"Many of the best things in life grow along the way.

• Start hanging out with someone and love grows along the way.
• Start exercising and motivation grows along the way.
• Start writing and inspiration grows along the way.

Start now and let the feeling follow."

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III.

"Of all the ways you could be spending your precious time and attention, it is very unlikely that you are currently spending it in the optimal way. The only path I know for figuring out a better way to spend your life is to sit and think. You simply have to carve out some time to think carefully about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and what you're really trying to achieve. Nobody stumbles into a well lived life. It has to be cultivated. Reflection and review are critical."

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I.

Steve Jobs explains the secret to focus:

"People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things we have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things."
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Source: Worldwide Developers Conference 1997

​II.

Writer C. Raymond Beran on friendship:

"What is a friend? I will tell you.

It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him. He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. He does not want you to be better, or worse. When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you. He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you.

With him you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of his loyalty. He understands. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him. Best of all, you can keep still with him. It makes no matter. He likes you. He is like fire that purges to the bone. He understands. He understands. You can weep with him, sin with him, laugh with him, pray with him. Through it all—and underneath—he sees, knows and loves you.

A friend? What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself."

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Source: The oldest source is an untitled book of poems for 1926, but Beran's authorship is occasionally disputed. If anyone knows the original source, please share.

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What worked well this year and is worth doubling down on in 2024?

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Want to share this issue of 3-2-1 via text, social media, or email? Just copy and paste this link:

https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/december-21-2023

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Until next week,

James Clear
​Author of Atomic Habits and keynote speaker​​

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p.s. How my day begins...