Crooked Media - What A Day:  Oyez! Oyez! Bidet!

Wednesday, May 6, 2020
BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA

-A U.S. Supreme Court justice, during oral arguments

President Trump announced that his administration will continue to press the Supreme Court to repeal the Affordable Care Act, in the middle of a pandemic that will make millions more Americans reliant on its coverage. Perhaps someone should tell him that having health insurance is “popular”: 
 

  • Trump said today that the White House coronavirus task force will “continue on indefinitely,” contradicting his own comments on Tuesday. He told reporters that he changed his mind about winding it down because he “had no idea how popular the task force is until actually yesterday,” which is to say, he reversed himself for the only reason he does anything—his own personal interests. Trump’s tweets suggested that the task force could see a change in members and a shift in focus, which poses an interesting thought experiment: How many doctors can you replace with Jared Kushner’s friends before the ship of Theseus is no longer the same ship, and is actually a Sigma Chi frat house? 
     
  • A New York Times investigation of Kushner’s shadow task force details the full incompetence of his team of volunteers. In one damning episode, a doctor with longtime manufacturing contacts, who had a lead on millions of masks from established suppliers, reached out to FEMA to offer his help. His information wound up in the hands of Kushner’s private-equity brigade, which ignored it in favor of leads from political allies like Charlie Kirk and a former Apprentice contestant. It was also (of course) these doofuses who passed along an unvetted tip from Yaron Oren-Pines, a Silicon Valley engineer who ultimately won a $69 million contract from New York for more than 1,000 ventilators, none of which were delivered. Anywho, Kushner is now in charge of getting us a vaccine by the end of the year, if anyone’s trying to offload a few million vials of Capri Sun. 
     
  • Today Trump argued with a nurse in the Oval Office who observed that the supply of protective equipment across the country has been “sporadic,” claiming that it has instead been “tremendous.” Trump has repeatedly denied the reality of ongoing shortages, but administration officials have expressed alarm internally. On May 1, the day Trump bragged that “we’ve solved every problem,” officials from FEMA and HHS warned on a conference call that states still didn’t have enough masks and gowns, and worried that governors reopening their states could create severe ventilator shortages within weeks. 

Trump’s denial could soon reach a new level of ghoulishness.
 

  • He has reportedly complained to some aides that he thinks the death count is unfairly high, and may start publicly questioning the veracity of the death toll as it surpasses his predictions, and starts to hurt him politically. All evidence indicates that the reported death toll, which currently stands at over 71,000, represents a significant undercount. 
     
  • We’re also learning more about a staggering racial discrepancy in those numbers. A new study found that predominantly black counties account for 52 percent of diagnoses and 58 percent of coronavirus deaths nationally, and because minority communities have been tested at lower rates, those counts may be an underestimate. Nearly three dozen lawmakers have signed onto a letter asking the Justice Department to investigate potential civil rights violations in how executive branches at all levels of government have responded.
     

In responding to a health crisis that we’ll be dealing with for months or years, Trump continues to make moment-by-moment decisions based on what he thinks will help him politically, and flatly denying the mounting evidence showing that, for some reason, his approach isn’t solving the problem.   

On today's In this week’s Keep It: Home Edition, Ira, Louis, and Aida discuss the 1955 Best Actress winners, Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood revisionist history, Mindy Kaling’s new series Never Have I Ever, Pulitzer Prize winners we’re excited for, The Daily Beast’s Michelle Obama clickbait, and more. Plus, André Holland joins to discuss theatre, Paris, and working with Damien Chazelle’s on The Eddy. Take a listen → 

New research explores how dramatically the economic collapse has deepened food insecurity, with nearly one in five children not getting enough to eat. That rate is three times higher than in 2008, at the height of the Great Recession. Part of the problem may be disruptions to school meal programs, with some families unable to reach distribution sites, and multiple kids competing for limited food at home. Republicans in Congress have thus far blocked efforts to increase food stamp benefits by 15 percent for the duration of the crisis, and the limited, short-term increase that Congress enacted left out the poorest food stamp recipients. If you’re able, please chip in to help the families who need it most → 

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos issued final rules governing how schools and colleges must address sexual misconduct allegations, which strengthen protections for those who have been accused. The new rules narrow the definition of sexual harassment, limit the complaints that schools are obliged to investigate, and require schools to cross-examine victims and accused perpetrators in a live hearing to challenge their credibility. Schools will only be in violation of Title IX if they’re determined to be “deliberately indifferent” to accusations of sexual assault, and won’t be responsible for responding to assaults that occur off campus or while students are studying abroad. Fatima Goss Graves, president of the National Women’s Law Center, has vowed to fight the new rules in court.

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A Mount Sinai Hospital study found evidence that blood thinners could help save some seriously ill COVID-19 patients who develop a blood clot complication.

Antibodies from llamas could prove useful in developing a COVID-19 treatment, which means it is your job as an informed citizen to look at this picture of a llama named Winter

California will provide workers' compensation benefits to all essential workers who test positive for coronavirus.

Faith in Action, an immigrant-advocacy group, has launched a fund to help immigrant workers who aren't eligible for federal coronavirus relief.

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What A Day: Mr. Bright's side

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

June 6: The day we all cry to a YouTube video. Tuesday, May 5, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Elon Musk and Grimes naming their newborn human son, possibly for real The Trump administration

What A Day: Dial M for murder hornets

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Wear your button-down at half-mast. Monday, May 4, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Donald Trump (not assassinated), about Abraham Lincoln (assassinated) The Trump administration privately

What A Day: Cuz I'm the vax man

Friday, May 1, 2020

Portrait of a Lady's Home Gym on Fire Thursday, April 30, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Chasten Buttigieg, on his journey of discovery since destroying Pete's hair Heads up: What A

What A Day: High on his own Kush

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Masks before snacks. Wednesday, April 29, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Jared Kushner, a man who for sure knows what success looks like More Americans have now died from the coronavirus

What A Day: Commander in beef

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Re-porking for duty. Tuesday, April 28, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -The New York Times, in reponse to Sean Hannity's 12-page tantrum With over one million confirmed coronavirus cases

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