Crooked Media - What A Day: HEROES in a half shell

Friday, May 15, 2020
BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA

-A guy who simply Gets It.

While introducing the leaders of the White House coronavirus-vaccine effort, President Trump once again downplayed the need for a vaccine, falsely claiming the virus will “go away at some point.” An echo of the stirring 1962 speech in which JFK told Americans, “We choose to go to the Moon!” and then added “but I mean, if that’s too hard, the moon will probably come to us eventually.”
 

  • In a Rose Garden press conference drowned out by protesting truck drivers honking their horns, Trump named two men to oversee “Operation Warp Speed”: former pharmaceutical executive Moncef Slaoui, and Army Gen. Gustave Perna. Trump repeated his claim that a vaccine could be available by the end of the year, which health officials have said is a bit optimistic, and indicated that he was undeterred by the experts warning under oath this week that prematurely relaxing public-health restrictions could be catastrophic: “Vaccine or no vaccine, we are back, and we are starting the process.” Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx, standing behind Trump at the briefing, wore masks. Trump did not.
     
  • The House is set to pass the HEROES Act, a sprawling $3 trillion relief package, to lay down a marker for whenever Trump realizes running for re-election amid a depression is a bad idea for him, personally. Trump and Senate Republicans have said they intend to dunk it into the trash, but White House officials have privately signaled they’re open to approving more funding for state governments—the centerpiece of the bill. During House Democrats’ internal negotiations, one element leadership dropped from the bill was automatic stabilizers, which would effectively put further stimulus on autopilot: economic indicators, like the unemployment rate, would automatically trigger further federal aid. That would have prevented critical relief from getting stuck in partisan gridlock, which seems like a solid idea, based on (gestures broadly).
     
  • As Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell continues to posture about taking “a pause” on relief spending, it becomes clearer each week that more aid can’t arrive soon enough. The Department of Labor’s latest numbers show that nearly three million Americans filed for unemployment in the last week, bringing the total number of first-time claimants since mid-March to 36.5 million. Poorer Americans are bearing the brunt: A staggering Federal Reserve survey found that almost 40 percent of workers in low-income homes lost their jobs in March alone. 

The CDC released a watered down set of reopening guidelines today, after the White House demanded the center’s public-health experts revise at least two prior drafts.
 

  • The newly published guidelines are composed of six one-page documents, with brief checklists meant to help key businesses and institutions reopen safely. Compare that to the 63-page unpublished draft, with specific, useful recommendations like: Consider keeping school playgrounds closed. Previous drafts also included guidance for religious institutions, which is notably absent in the released version, but surely Trump wouldn’t bury science-based recommendations to pander to his evangelical base. 
     
  • Also missing from the CDC’s Reopening America: Condensed and Abridged Edition is any explicit mention of the reopening criteria in the administration’s previous guidance, which states were supposed to meet before relaxing social-distancing measures. The majority of state leaders either already have or are about to let their stay-at-home restrictions expire—a whopping two states have met the federal criteria to do so.
     

Due to the easing of social-distancing restrictions around the country, a model used by the White House now projects 147,000 Americans will have died of coronavirus by early August. Trump isn’t wrong that we shouldn’t have to wait for a vaccine to start resuming our lives. What we do have to wait for, to avoid (more) unnecessary mass death, is a national strategy for testing and contact tracing. We need Trump to do his job, and that could easily be the longer wait.

Ana Marie Cox is back with a new season of With Friends Like These: Converts. In the show, she’ll examine historical accounts of converts, how our brain functions when we change our mind, and what converts themselves have to say about their experience. Listen and subscribe to With Friends Like These wherever you get your podcasts →

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has been funneling CARES Act relief funding towards private and religious schools, and away from the public schools and colleges the money was primarily intended for. Before the coronavirus hit, Congress rejected DeVos’s proposals for programs that look like school vouchers, so DeVos has redirected emergency legislation to advance the same end: She used $180 million from the Cares Act to encourage states to create “microgrants” that parents can use to pay for educational services (like private school tuition). Devos used most of the $350 million for higher education to shore up small colleges, many of them private or religious. (The Wright Graduate University for the Realization of Human Potential, a private college in Wisconsin that insists it is not a cult, received $495,000.)

In maybe the most outrageous move, the Education Department has also issued guidance that allows wealthy private-school students to receive emergency funding that was allocated to districts that serve large low-income student populations. Like the rest of the Trump administration, DeVos has used the pandemic as cover for the policy initiatives she couldn’t get authorized beforehand, and—SURPRISE!—it’s completely indefensible. 

Hey, so, a fun update on those delivery-app fees we urged you to avoid: GrubHub actually charges fees on phone orders that customers think they’re placing directly with the restaurant. When you, a good citizen trying to support your favorite local business, Google a restaurant's phone number to call in a direct order, the top result often isn’t that restaurant's actual number. GrubHub (which, FYI, also owns Seamless, MenuPages, Tapingo, and LevelUp) generates a unique redirect phone number for each restaurant on its platform, and that number is often the first one you’ll see. When a customer calls that number, Grubhub charges the restaurant a flat fee, even, in some cases, when an order isn’t actually placed. This is insane, and unfortunately means we all have to put in a little more research: Make sure you’re getting phone numbers directly from your favorite restaurants’ actual websites.

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Oxford University scientists say the vaccine they’re working on will be priced at a low cost and distributed globally, if it proves effective.

The House has passed a historic rule change to allow lawmakers to cast votes and conduct committee meetings remotely during the pandemic, an important step in the direction of getting shit done.

Michelle Obama’s group When We All Vote and MTV will host a virtual prom on May 22, celebrating high school students who have organized voter registration efforts across the country.

Keith Urban hosted a drive-in concert for medical workers in Tennessee.

. . . . . .


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What A Day: Don't mask, don't tell

Friday, May 15, 2020

Just a faint whiff of perjury. Thursday, May 14, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Kayleigh McEnany on our healthy leaders, who do not have a backup plan Dr. Rick Bright, the ousted director

What A Day: CDC no evil

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Pool noodles can't move elections. Wednesday, May 13, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Elon Musk, bon vivant, under a photo he stole from Buca di Beppo As the White House pushes the

What A Day: The Great Kaine Robbery

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Don't worry, we're still winning. Tuesday, May 12, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Trump's legislative lieutenant Mitch McConnell, on presidential etiquette Top health experts

What A Day: Ain't vaccine nothin' yet

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

A beautifully layered grift. Monday, May 11, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -Kevin Hassett, whose workplace is trying to force everyone else to go to work The White House spent the weekend

What A Day: Sicko Miller, qu’est-ce que c’est

Saturday, May 9, 2020

I want to rake freeee Friday, May 8, 2020 BY SARAH LAZARUS & CROOKED MEDIA -The president, when asked if he had a Mother's Day message The official US unemployment rate reached 14.7 percent in

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