The Breakdown First Five - Monday, August 26, 2024

Welcome back to The Breakdown First Five — the 5 most interesting and/or important stories in bitcoin, crypto, and markets to start your day.

5. Crypto Less Attractive Than Cosplay

Women still find crypto bros deeply unattractive. The date psychology blog asked women to rate men’s “nerd” hobbies. The only thing more unattractive than crypto was collecting Funko Pops, although Anime and Magic the Gathering were close. Most women found most nerd hobbies unattractive, with only reading and building models getting a positive reception. If you’re in crypto to find a girlfriend, you might be better off at the library. 

4. Ethereum Foundation Selling

Major selling from the Ethereum Foundation has triggered some dissatisfaction with high budgets. The EF is currently spending $100M per year on salary and grants, funded by the sales of ETH. Over the weekend, they sent $95M worth to Kraken in order to liquidate. While some are outraged at the high spend (and associated dumping), many are just asking for a little more transparency on where the money is going. 

3. Kraken Loses Dismissal

Despite failing to get their SEC lawsuit thrown out, Kraken might have notched an important victory. The court allowed the SEC to continue, but rejected their concept that any of the tokens are securities. For the SEC to succeed, they will now need to show that the individual transactions that take place on Kraken satisfy the Howey test. The SEC is struggling to make headway in exchange cases and might have bitten off more than they can chew. 

2. Powell’s Inflation Memory Hole

Inflation was a thing of the past in Jackson Hole as Fed Chair Jerome Powell turned his attention to unemployment. “The time has come for policy to adjust.” There was no mention of being gradual or methodical as we’ve heard from other FOMC members. Cooling in the labor market is “unmistakable.” Powell has seen the gaping maw of a recession, but is he already too late? 

1. Telegram CEO Arrested

The arrest of Telegram CEO Pavel Durov in France has ignited a firestorm of debate around online free speech and the right to privacy. Durov is still being questioned, but reporting suggests his liability could cover every criminal action that ever passed through the platform. Whether this is an attack on free speech or an attempt to disrupt Russian wartime communications, France has now broken the seal and arrested a big tech CEO for the actions of users.