Why men avoid getting the help they need

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For a variety of complicated reasons, men are often not likely to seek help in times of emotional distress or periods of loneliness. Among the major obstacles is the arguably outdated notion of manliness, which holds that men should mostly serve as breadwinners and remain stoic during life’s inevitable travails.

As researchers who study the roles that men play in their families, psychologist Alvin Thomas and Ph.D. student Quinn Kinzer from University of Wisconsin-Madison have seen the damage in those who try to keep a lid on their feelings. “Men need outlets for their pain,” they write. “But the public’s response to male expressions of emotion and vulnerability is often minimizing, if not dismissive.”

That emotional pain and isolation can play a significant role in worsening overall health. In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a report detailing how loneliness, which disproportionately affects men, contributes to higher risks of heart disease, strokes and dementia.

“Boys and men need to feel comfortable presenting their true, authentic selves to the world,” Thomas and Kinzer write. “When they suppress their vulnerability, it creates a barrier to seeking help.”

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Howard Manly

Race + Equity Editor

Singer Justin Bieber is seen on May 16, 2024, in Los Angeles. BG046/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images

Men are carrying the brunt of the ‘loneliness epidemic’ amid potent societal pressures

Alvin Thomas, University of Wisconsin-Madison; Quinn Kinzer, University of Wisconsin-Madison

There is an epidemic of isolation gripping the United States, health experts say, with the resulting loneliness disproportionately impacting men and leading to concrete health issues.

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