By Walt Hickey

Northwestern

Northwestern University is launching an $850 million project to build a new football stadium with a capacity of 35,000 seats. Somewhat fascinatingly, that is both the most expensive college football stadium ever built and also will come in at the fewest seats of any stadium among the 34 teams of the Big Ten and SEC. Indeed, that’s 12,000 fewer seats than the previous football stadium, and 42,000 seats less than the average among the Power Two schools, with the next smallest venue belonging to Vanderbilt and constructed in 1922. There is a method to this madness, though: Most of the money in college football is in the broadcasting rights, not the cheap seats, and by cutting them out and building its first-ever premium seating — boxes, suites, the like — Northwestern actually stands to make more money with a smaller stadium than they would in their previous one, because 10 percent of the fans can be gouged for 40 percent to 50 percent of the gate. Not to mention that ironically, the cheapest seats are the most expensive to build (they’re high up), so this does start to actually make sense.

Eben Novy-Williams, Sportico

Monkeys

After the capture of two escaped monkeys over the weekend, only six monkeys remain loose in South Carolina following the escape of 43 monkeys. Daughters of A-Wing! Of the crates on the southwestern side! My sisters. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of monkey fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day; an hour of Alpha Genesis employees and South Carolinian animal control, when the Age of Macaques comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we hang out in the woods! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Escaped Rhesus macaques of the Yemassee, South Carolina, medical research facility!

The Associated Press

Habemus Papam

The Ralph Fiennes movie Conclave is a splashy, elaborate thriller about a group of cardinals being sequestered away and selecting the next pope from among their own number. It threads a nearly impossible needle, adapting a pulpy airport bookstore thriller with Oscar-contender production values, and it also has an Italian cardinal who constantly vapes, which is the crucial glue to any picture. The movie is a hit for its size, earning $26.5 million domestically since late October and on track to pass $30 million given some blessed word of mouth. But what’s especially exciting about this movie is that it’s the first in ages to actually bring an older demographic back to the movie theater that has not returned in serious numbers since the pandemic. So far, almost 50 percent of the ticket buyers for Conclave were over 55, a demo that used to be the crucial base an awardsy autumn indie drama for adults could count on, but which has been disastrously absent for the past several years.

Rebecca Rubin, Variety

Lamb Chop

The puppet Lamb Chop’s days as a beloved character for children have generally subsided given that the transformative kids show is long off the air, but the puppet lives on with a new set of fans: dogs. Dogs cannot get enough of Lamb Chop. Chewy, the pet superstore, said that Lamb Chop is the second-most popular dog toy of any kind, with over 20 iterations in existence and multiple sizes ranging from the 6-inch small to the 24-inch jumbo. The trademark for Lamb Chop has ended up in the hands of Dreamworks, and the plush’s popularity has spiked among Spike since its introduction to the pet store supplier Multipet in 2008. One reason for Lamb Chop’s popularity is its versatility: It can be cuddled with or destroyed, and dogs with high prey drive can hunt the small creature while dogs with softer play drives can just have a good time carrying it around. Chewy reports that many, many customers buy five Lamb Chops or more per year.

Kate Lindsay, The Atlantic

Helium

In its latest final plan for managing the natural resources of western Colorado, the Bureau of Land Management is proposing to close 543,000 acres in the Grand Junction Field Office to oil and gas leasing while keeping 692,300 acres open. Of particular interest in the open region are 165,700 acres that have been identified as especially suitable for helium recovery, which is considered to be a crucial reserve for a nonrenewable element that has important scientific, medical, strategic and industrial applications. Across the country, there is an estimated 306 billion cubic feet of recoverable helium available, which at the current consumption rate of 2.15 billion cubic feet per year is a 150-year supply.

Zoë Rom, High Country News

Congestion

Albany’s attempt at sabotage concluded, the MTA board approved a new version of congestion pricing for lower Manhattan, a groundbreaking implementation of the tax on traffic congestion to fund major improvement projects of the most-used transit system in the western hemisphere. The $9 daytime fee to enter Manhattan south of 60th street is 40 percent lower than the $15 base price originally approved prior to the governor’s misbegotten intervention; however, planned increases in 2028 and 2031 will get the transit system funded as needed. Because of the slow action on Albany’s part, two hurdles remain, each effectively federal approval that, to be clear, ain’t exactly gonna be forthcoming in January. The funding will go to a transformational upgrade of the New York City transit system, ensuring continuity of service and funding improvements that will stand for decades to come.

Ramsey Khalifeh and Stephen Nessen, Gothamist

Mozambique

Mozambique is still reeling from a $2 billion corruption scandal that caused the nation to be mired in court cases and was economically catastrophic, but for the right amount of money, you yourself could possess a souvenir of the fiasco as the 24-vessel tuna fishing fleet that caused the whole incident is now up for auction, with some of the vessels only seeing 10 hours of use before being stowed at a harbor in Maputo to rust away. If sold for their base price, the proceeds would be a paltry $10.6 million. The boats prompted the “tuna bond scandal,” as they were bought as part of a $2 billion Credit Suisse loan that allegedly contained $200 million in kickbacks and bribes, which sent a bunch of ministers to jail and bankers to the mercy of the courts. A state-owned company cut a $785.4 million deal with a shipbuilder for the boats, but the real problem is that the country denied the existence of the debt to the International Monetary Fund. When they eventually caught wise, they suspended funding as of 2016, sending the economy to the depths. Either way, the boats are in excellent condition and can basically be had for a song, if that’s your thing.

Matthew Hill, Bloomberg

Thanks to the paid subscribers to Numlock News who make this possible. Subscribers guarantee this stays ad-free, and get a special Sunday edition. Consider becoming a full subscriber today.

Send links to me on Twitter at @WaltHickey or email me with numbers, tips or feedback at walt@numlock.news. Send corrections or typos to the copy desk at copy@numlock.news.

Check out the Numlock Book Club and Numlock award season supplement.

Previous Sunday subscriber editions: MCU · Fanfiction · User Magazine · Reentry · Panda Dunks · Net Zero · Spiraled · On The Edge · Luggage · The Editors · Can’t Get Much Higher · Solitaire ·

Posting Nexus · Memorabilia · Drainage Tile · Desert Surfing · Music · Congestion Pricing · Underwater Sound · Hunts Point · Queer Olympics · Energy Drinks · Baseball Movies · Trillion Trees · Risk Aversion ·

Packaging · Ice Cores · Stadium Names · Uncertain · Green Homes · Political Future · UFOs · Antarctica Comms · Rot Economy · The Internationalists · Video Game Funding · BYD · Disney Channel Original Movie · Talon Mine · Our Moon · Rock Salt · Wind Techs

Sunday Edition Archives: 2022 · 2021 · 2020 · 2019 · 2018