The Rubesletter - 🎁 The only 2025 gift guide you'll need
This is the Rubesletter from Matt Ruby. I’m a comedian, writer, and the creator of Vooza. Every Tuesday, I send essays, jokes, and videos to your inbox. You’re on the free plan, for the full experience, sign up for a paid subscription. 🎁 The only 2025 gift guide you'll needIt's gonna delight and amaze you. 💰 | Also: the Unabomber, Ozempic, Nietzsche, throuples, Cormac McCarthy, and much more.
🎥 My new standup special “Bolo” is available to stream now for only $4. Don’t wanna pay? It’ll be coming to YouTube/MattRuby on January 9, 2025 at 7pm EST (sign up to get notified here). Here’s the 🆕 trailer: My 2025 gift guideHere it is! Ah, we’re having fun. But for real, Bourdain merch is a great way to celeb– Wait a minute… Whoops. Another L for generative AI. But really, what should you get for your loved ones? Consider my new book titled “Vague New Age Captions for Instagram Baddies.” Here’s an excerpt… 👇 Pairs perfectly with a time-lapse Reel of you doing yoga poses! “C’mon, gimme a real holiday shopping tip!” OK. Hold off on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and save up for Planned Obsolescence Thursday. Great deals on a bunch of products that will mysteriously stop working as soon as the warranty’s up. It’s capitalism’s way of saying, “Gotcha! 🤑” Benjamin Franklin: "Nothing is certain except death and taxes." Speaking of, I read this Businessweak headline… …and this caught my eye: "The front of the plane is now a haven of luxury, while coach has turned into a low-cost shakedown." Actually, that sounds like the perfect description of modern day America. Rubesletter biznessTime for yours truly to get in on the action. Did you know you can gift the Rubesletter? Gimme all that green! Or just do you. Here’s a 20% off deal ‘cuz I gotchu: Quickies🎯 Don't tell any of these camouflage dudes that it's actually a French word. They'll merde their pants. 🎯 I'm now pretending to have a foot fetish 'cuz I'm worried I come off as too vanilla. 🎯 Fitness people hate Ozempic the same way veterans hate stolen valor. 🎯 I ❤️ Buddhism. But also, it can get annoying 'cuz you'll be like THIS AWFUL THING IS HAPPENING TO ME and Buddhists will go, "Perfect. This is actually a gift. Now you can practice your–" Dude, my arm just got chopped off...can you get a bandage instead of tryna Zen it up right now? 🎯 Dropping bombs: 🎯 moral clarity - how you describe someone who agrees with you on every issue 🎯 My view on the masculinity crisis: I liked it better when incels started mosh pits and fight clubs instead of podcasts and Reddit threads. 🎯 Let's be real: The more you're online, the more insane you are. But don’t listen to me. I’m online all the time. 🎯 Every show that's not on Broadway is off-broadway. It's like saying you're dating a non-supermodel. 🎯 Apparently, “the artist's way” doesn't include hiring a graphic designer who understands typography… 👇 🎯 Napkin over glass so bartender doesn't take it is pretty incredible user interface design. Right up there with mailbox flags. 🎯 As a Jew, I do not like scary movies. My ancestral trauma is frightening enough. I don’t need a haunted house; I've been to Anne Frank's house. 🎯 Nietzsche coulda been a contender in one of those mustache competitions: 🎯 Millenials need a dating advice book like “He’s Just Not That Into You” except it’ll be called “Just Settle Already.” 🎯 "Back then, I was in a toxic throuple." Comedy🃏 NYC: One final Misguided Meditation show in soho at cool space on 12/18. Come thru. 🎟️ $5 off with promo code BREATHE5 here. 🃏 Jokes: Get ‘em (and more) on my social media at Instagram – TikTok – Threads – X – Substack Notes – Bluesky 🃏 Tour: Upcoming shows in Miami, Seattle, Victoria (BC), and NYC. Info here. 🃏 NYC weeklies: 1) GOOD EGGS (Mondays) at 7:30pm at NY Comedy Club (Upper West Side). 2) HOT SOUP (Tuesdays) at 10:30pm at Comedy Cellar. 3) GOOD EGGS (Wednesdays) at 8pm at NY Comedy Club (East Village). 🃏 FUNNY HOW: I have another newsletter all about the craft of doing standup. Check it out. 🃏 “Substance” Special: Watch my doc/special “Substance” at YouTube. Four nights, four shows, four states (high, drunk, 🍄, and sober). It goes hard. 🃏 “Bolo” special: 🎥 My new standup special “Bolo” is available to stream now for only $4. Don’t wanna pay? It’ll be coming to YouTube/MattRuby on January 9, 2025 at 7pm EST (sign up to get notified here). A lil’ less quick▶ On the plus side, Elon's shenanigans have made liberal Tesla owners waaaaay less condescending. Tough to act pretentious about your gas mileage when your car's manufacturer is also riding shotgun with totalitarianism, y'know? ▶ All this bathroom nonsense is so dumb. I went to Germany in the 90’s and they had unisex bathrooms everywhere and the country is fine. (Well, other than whatever weirdo stuff Germans have always been getting up to.) ▶ Teen wants to change gender: "We must respect their choice." Same person talking about 24yo Lewinsky giving a beej to Clinton: "She was naive and taken advantage of." Um, Can we just get some consistency on all this frontal cortex stuff? ▶ Speaking of the youth: American kids don’t get it. The first thing Jihadists chant after “Death to Israel” is “Death to America.” Seems to me a big hint someone is not your ally is when they call you “the Great Satan.” ▶ One awful thing about social media we don’t talk about a lot: It murdered the hyperlink. Big Tech took networking, the heart of the internet, and clogged up its arteries in order to monetize blood. ▶ The moral certitude of everyone on every side of every issue nowadays is so off-putting. Like, okay, have your opinion. But also, admit that it's complex and there are tradeoffs. Otherwise, you just sound like a child. Embrace the gray, I say! (And I’m 100% positive about this MIC DROP.) 5-spotted🗯️ Cormac McCarthy in Blood Meridian:
🗯️ How Americans learned to root for the dark side.
🗯️ It wasn’t the economy. It wasn’t inflation, or anything else. It was how people perceive those things.
🗯️ The West misread the 21st century.
🗯️ Tennessee Williams on love:
Thanks for reading. -Matt P.S. Sign up to get creative inspiration from art legends at Working Methods: You’re on the free list for The Rubesletter by Matt Ruby. For bonus content, become a paying subscriber. Check out Matt’s other newsletter: Funny How: Letters to a Young Comedian. Follow Matt elsewhere: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Twitter • TikTok • Facebook |
Older messages
Why Taylor Swift, the Beatles, and Nirvana are overrated
Sunday, December 1, 2024
And other music opinions you'll really hate. Also: how drummers are like Taco Bell, the perfect cocktail party playlist, and much more on music. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
LED candles are everything that's wrong with society
Monday, November 25, 2024
You gotta fight / for your right / to not be surrounded by fake BS constantly. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
I went to a UFC fight and a Trump rally broke out
Monday, November 18, 2024
A snowflake enters the thunderdome. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
What people are getting wrong about comedy podcasts
Friday, November 15, 2024
"Comedy codes conservative" isn't actually true. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
Incessantly calling men toxic is a bad way to get their votes
Thursday, November 7, 2024
How to win 'em over: Less dunking, more persuading. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
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