BY MATT BERG & CROOKED MEDIA
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I bought this before we knew Elon was crazy.”
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THE MISEDUCATION OF DONALD TRUMP
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Donald Trump’s autocratic crackdown on college activists is spreading anxiety on campus — while legal experts fret over the courts’ power to stop him.
- Columbia University grad student Mahmoud Khalil, a pro-Palestinian activist, became the face of collegiate resistance to the Trump administration after ICE agents barged into his apartment earlier this month. Khalil says that he wasn’t told, at first, why he was being arrested, and that he was handcuffed and forced into an unmarked car, before eventually arriving in a detention center in Louisiana. President Donald Trump wants Khalil deported, even though he’s a green card holder and legal U.S. resident. Today, a federal judge moved his case to New Jersey, a more favorable venue for Khalil than western Louisiana (which is overseen by a notably conservative appeals court).
- The vibes around Columbia’s campus are bleak. Students at the school — especially Muslim, Arab and transgender ones — don’t feel comfortable on campus because “we’ve been told that plainclothes ICE officers nearby are looking for different students,” one graduate student told What A Day. She knows several students who have refused to attend class out of fear. One professor told her that faculty emails are being monitored, as Columbia cooperates with the Trump administration.
- “The only way this sort of like democratic backsliding stops is if large institutions take a stand for norms that have been established. Right now, Columbia just isn’t doing that,” the student told me. “I don’t think cooperating with the Trump administration is going to stop the bleeding, and I know that the student body, including myself, are pretty upset about it.”
- Trump hardly looks likely to stop with Columbia. More than 500 schools in the U.S. have held pro-Palestinian rallies since October 2023, and there were encampments at 130 schools. He’s also aiming to root out other ideologies: The Trump administration froze $175 million in federal funding to UPenn today because it allows transgender athletes to participate in women’s sports.
Judges keep smacking down Trump’s most extreme orders. But concerns are rising over his commitment to obeying the courts — and what might happen if he doesn’t.
- The Trump administration flouted a judge’s order not to deport a group of Venezuelan men over the weekend, sending planes to El Salvador despite a clear instruction to turn them back. Trump and his lawyers insist they followed the rules — in effect, raising the legal equivalent of asking: “Who you gunna believe? Me, or your lyin’ eyes!?”
- “I think it’s more useful to say that this is moving us into a completely different kind of constitutional order, one that’s no longer characterized by laws that bind officials and that can be enforced,” Aziz Huq, law professor at UChicago, told the New York Times. “The law, in other words, becomes a tool to harm enemies, but not to bind those who govern. That is a quite different constitutional order from the one that we’ve had for a long time.”
- A simpler view of what’s going on: “The president is asserting dictatorial power and ‘constitutional crisis’ doesn’t capture the gravity of the situation,” Jamal Greene, a law professor at Columbia, also told the outlet.
Do you or anyone you know have green cards or visas? Here’s a helpful guide on everything you need to know right now.
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WHAT A SPONSOR

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People will no longer be able to file for Social Security benefits over the phone starting March 31. It’s a massive change that’s expected to strain the agency’s workforce, and could cause delays to this ridiculously important program. I would really like to know how Elon Musk defines the word “efficiency.”
The Defense Department deleted the story about baseball legend Jackie Robinson’s career in the Army from a website. It’s yet another example of the Trump administration’s diversity, equity and inclusion crackdown — which apparently means “anyone who isn’t white” doesn’t deserve to be celebrated or recognized.
The White House is preparing to slap massive new tariffs on most global imports in a major escalation of trade hostilities that Donald Trump officials have dubbed “Liberation Day.” It’s freaking out economists and some GOP lawmakers, after the president’s tariffs have pushed the stock market lower and raised fears of a recession.
Trump’s tax cuts passed in the stopgap funding bill will disproportionately benefit — get a load of this! — very rich people, according to a new Yale Budget Lab analysis. What does that look like? Well, the top 0.1 percent would gain an estimated $180,910… while the bottom 20 percent would lose $1,125. The only thing “trickling down” will be my tears.
Ben & Jerry’s accused Unilever, its parent company, of ousting the ice cream company’s CEO because of his progressive views, which would breach its merger agreement. Unilever has barred the company from posts about abortion, climate change, universal healthcare, Black History Month, and even Mahmoud Khalil’s case, Ben & Jerry’s has alleged in lawsuits. I really don’t need another reason to go buy ice cream these days… but I just found one.
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LET'S MEET, IRL
Lovett or Leave It is returning to the swamp for a live show on Thursday April 24th at Lincoln Theatre! It's White House Correspondents Weekend, so Lovett thought he'd celebrate the first amendment while we still have it and bring some gay chaos right to the heart of the regime. Tickets are on sale NOW! Come join Lovett and his special guests, who will be announced soon, but rest assured, they’re some of the funniest, smartest people brave enough to get on a plane right now. Learn more and get your tickets at crooked.com/events.
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A federal judge blocked Trump’s attempt to ban transgender people from serving in the U.S. military, ruling that his executive order likely violates their constitutional rights. “The court knows that this opinion will lead to heated public debate and appeals. In a healthy democracy, both are positive outcomes,” Judge Ana Reyes wrote. “We should all agree, however, that every person who has answered the call to serve deserves our gratitude and respect.”
Crooked power couple Jon Lovett and Ari Schwartz were featured in Out Magazine for their recent engagement. "We met at work and were friends for a long time before we realized there might be more to it," Lovett tells Out. “We just liked the same dumb jokes, and then we fell in love.” Queue the awwwwwws.
Washington, D.C.’s beloved cherry blossoms are halfway to peak bloom, and they’re expected to hit that magnificent stage on March 29. There’s still time to book your sightseeing trips! They’re a much-needed bright spot in the city this year…

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