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Note from the Guest Editor
Hi
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I'm Carolyn Rivkees, longtime GNI fan, member of the Lounge, and the voice behind @chronically_cheerful, an online community for anyone seeking support, solace, and a safe space while navigating wellness challenges — especially those with a chronic illness or invisible disability.
I’ve spent the past three years as a professional patient, exploring treatments and techniques across Western and Eastern medicine in an effort to help my chronic pain. Over this time, “taking care” has taken on a whole new meaning for me. For now, I’m working to accept that careful investments in my well-being don’t need to manifest physically to be meaningful. One of my biggest lessons learned is that the unspoken idea that good health results from making good choices perpetuates the stigma that illness is a personal failing.
To be honest, most days I still struggle with having so little to outwardly show for my exhaustive (and exhausting) efforts to feel better. On the one hand, I know I have nothing to prove. On the other, it’s hard to let go of the impulse to defend my pain as independent from how I take care.
Because I know others are in the same boat, I wanted to share some small reminders that have helped me separate my wellness from my worth as I navigate my chronic pain. I hope they'll help you, too:
1) Reaffirm yourself. 💗 Constant vigilance toward and tracking of one’s bodily “problems” can make it feel like there's a need to “fix” yourself as a person. Associating inherent value with your state of well-being is a surefire way to trigger misplaced guilt whenever pain resurfaces. However you feel, you are enough.
2) Let go of the shoulds. 🙅♀️ You know your body best. Some of the most important ways you take care of it can stem from self-trust in knowing what works best for you. By letting go of some of the external pressures of what you should be doing — whether it's work or otherwise — you can actually sometimes get closer to what you really need in a given moment.
3) Reimagine rest. 😴 We place a huge premium on productivity, but rest IS productive. Especially for those of us with chronic illness, we can’t afford to slow down only when we’re tired or as a reward for accomplishing something. You are not lazy for taking the time you need to recharge and restore yourself — you’re proactively building up the strength to show up as your best self.
4) Give yourself some grace. 🌿 Chronic pain is more than physical: it can have a profound, negative impact on your emotional and mental well-being. Fear of judgment or disappointing others can create internalized pressure and insidious shame, whether over a perceived inability to tough it out or to “just get better” once and for all. Remember to watch out for those critical thoughts and be kind to yourself as you navigate the good and the bad days.
5) Recognize your resilience. ✨ One of the most frustrating aspects of chronic illness is you can do everything “right” (eat nourishing foods, meditate, follow a sleep schedule, exercise and try a range of different medications and holistic therapies), yet STILL be plagued by unpredictable, frequently incapacitating pain. You are doing your best, but measuring success by recovery isn't giving yourself enough credit.
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Remember, the only standard you need to live up to is your own. And if you need to keep reminding yourself of that, I’ll be right there with you, doing it too.
Yours in healing,
Carolyn Rivkees
@chronically_cheerful
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weekly picks
our recommendations for the weekend
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- This is a reminder to unclench your jaw... "I found these five-minute destressing exercises so helpful recently, especially as I've found myself forgetting to step away from my screen more and more lately. My challenge to you: Do yourself a favor and try one to wrap up your week." - Jenna, GNI Team
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A holy grail skincare item you might enjoy... "I've been using this every night, and sometimes during the day. It's noticeably improved my skin's texture, and I love that it has salicylic acid in it, which sinks deep into the skin to address acne, which I'm prone to. Our team rounded up some of the skincare items that have been helping us through this particularly stressful summer (anyone else getting maskne?) here." - Alisha, GNI Team
- Learn from the past and look toward the future... 🗳 The Women's Suffrage Centennial Commission is working to educate the American people about the women’s suffrage movement in the U.S. during the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment this year. Visit their site to learn more, and if something catches your eye on their online store, The Suff Shop, use code "freegift50" for a free "Votes For Women" sticker pack with a purchase of $50 or more. #SPONSORSTHING
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For a really good belly laugh..."I don't really play video games often, but I saw my partner playing Fall Guys on his PS4 (it's free right now!) and I couldn't resist. It's a bright and bouncy game of challenges and obstacles and the little characters are so funny in their interactions with each other. I did not expect to experience so much childlike JOY playing this, but I honestly haven't laughed this hard in a while. Felt important to share!" - Tyler, GNI Team
- For a more mature throw pillow situation... "While I still don't entirely get throw pillows (they seem to just end up on the bedroom floor a lot?), my husband and I decided we needed a more adult bedroom. After spending way too much time scouring the Internet, I can say that I am extremely happy with the various designs I chose from Coterie. So much mix and match potential." - Carey, GNI Team
- In case you're on the hunt for PJs... "To say I wait for the Nordstrom Summer sale each year would be an understatement. This year I've got my eye on one thing and one thing only: these pajamas. Spending more time at home means I'm letting myself really sink into comfort. If April was about sweats and May was about tie-dye, August is all about PJs." - Katrina, GNI Team
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Bet you never thought you'd miss the sound of your office printer... If working at home just doesn't have the same hum of staplers and water cooler chat, this tool provides ambient office sounds to help you get in a work frame-of-mind. (Also consider this a reminder to text your work bestie that you miss them.)
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This week's challenge: Indulge your inner child... 🌿
In 2020, it’s more important than ever to plan small moments of joy to look forward to at the end of each week — so this month, we’re helping you decide how to kick off your weekend each Friday. This week’s activity: Set up a camp night at home and lean into all the end-of-summer vibes, from the comfort of your own home. Here's how we'd do it:
🍔 1. Set the menu: Sloppy Joes, s'mores, and a Spindrift, please.
🌈 2. Tie-dye all the things: Rally all white tees and rubber bands.
👯♀️ 3. Make friendship bracelets: The nostalgia alone will spark joy (plus, it's a great excuse to put down your phone).
There are lots of variations of camp night to be had — you could set up indoor games, start a fire, or watch a scary movie. The most important thing is remembering to do the things that make you feel good (like hydrating and acting like a kid for a day) right now.
When you buy a Spindrift Drifter Pack* (Drifter Packs include all 11 Spindrift flavors, plus a bonus Spindrift Pineapple) right now, you get a free pack to send to a friend. With a little creativity and care, you can still Summer Friday the safe way. 🍋
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read/watch/listen
what the GNI team is sitting down with this weekend
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What We’re Reading This Week: 🤓
The Women the 19th Amendment Left Behind, Teen Vogue
How to Write an Imperfect Black Woman, The Atlantic
Scrapbooking as an Act of Radical Self-Care, NYT
4 Ways You Can Start to Fight for Food Justice, SELF
Company's Paid Leave for Periods Takes on a Workplace Taboo, NYT
What We’re Book Clubbing With in September: 🚨
Ready to get a jump on our book club book for September? Good news: We'll be reading Luster, the much-anticipated debut novel by Raven Leilani. We think Zadie Smith's said it best in her review: "What a brave thing, to describe life from the inside, ignoring the prepackaged archetypes.... and instead dare to create Edie, a young Black woman frequently in doubt, embarrassed, and unsure, who is passionate and perverse, kind and vengeful, depressed and exhilarated—in other words, human."
What We're Reading With Young Ones: 👭
Kamala and Maya's Big Idea is a book about two sisters that work to effect change in their community through a very special project. We spoke with author and entrepreneur Meena Harris about why this book — inspired by her mom and aunt —is an important read for young ones growing up in today's world. Read our interview with Meena here.
What We're Watching: 👀
"I gave up my cable subscription long ago but I’ve been missing reality TV narratives of Bravo and satisfying HGTV home design. That’s why bingewatching Selling Sunset season 3 on Netflix has given me the best (and maybe worst?) of both worlds. Cannot recommend enough." - Olivia, GNI Team
What We're Listening to: 🎧
"You might know Scaachi Koul from her book of essays, One Day We'll Be Dead and None of This Will Matter. Earlier this month, she launched a podcast Not Great with Scaachi Koul — I thought this episode about the cult of kindness and performative compassion was especially interesting." - Tyler, GNI Team
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heading into the weekend like...
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Enjoy getting GNI every Friday? Forward it to a friend and tell them to subscribe here. (Thanks for this, @jesshigham_!)
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