TA #69: ☕ Pumpkin Spice Newsletter: A Case Study in the Power of Copywriting

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This week's image, #69: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Welcome to the 69th issue of Total Annarchy, a fortnightly newsletter by me, Ann Handley, with a focus on writing, content, marketing, life. THANK YOU for being here. P.S. Was this email forwarded to you? Subscribe right here.

Boston, Sunday, September 13, 2020

Hi and non-contact high-five to you!

How do you sell two used couches upholstered in the exact, unfortunate color of the poop emoji? 💩

That had been my challenge since last weekend, when I swapped out the two brown couches in our Maine cottage for a smart, gray, sofa-and-loveseat duo with a mid-century modern vibe.

Maybe it was my imagination... but they seemed a little cocksure, that trim mid-century pair, sliding efficiently into spots once occupied by their dumpy, dung-colored cousins.

(The old brown couches ended up against the far wall, looking... I don't know... forlorn? I would say they reminded me of two old dogs watching their family welcome a new pup... but that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?)

But anyhoo... life goes on.

My son Evan wanted to put the brown couches on the curb with a "FREE" sign. But this is a classic Marketing challenge, isn't it?

How do you sell something with enthusiasm when you wouldn't be the ideal buyer for it?

How do you acknowledge the in-your-face reality of that poop-emoji brown?

Here's the first ad I wrote for the listing on Facebook Marketplace:

FREE COUCHES: Two gently used brown loveseats from a smoke-free, pet-free seasonal cottage. Very comfortable, no tears or rips.

INQUIRIES: 1 (someone who asked: Will you deliver? Answer: NO.)

ROI: 0%

Let's try again.* Here's the second ad I wrote:

PUMPKIN SPICE COUCHES x2: Two upholstered gently used loveseats in a rich caramel hue. Deep, comfortable seating. Generous arm with sturdy back pillow supports. Perfect for binging Netflix or cozying up with your bestie on a chilly autumn night. From a smoke-free, pet-free seasonal cottage. Sad to see these go! $95 for the pair. These won't last!

Before I share the results... (scrollers: contain yourselves!), let's live-comment on what's happening here.

Pumpkin Spice Couch Copywriting Lessons

1. Trigger at least two senses—sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing. Invite your reader to imagine the couch with more than one sense.

Not just what it looks like (sight). But what it feels like (deep seating; generous arm, sturdy on the back). And what it smells like: "Smoke-free, pet-free" is code for "doesn't stink."

2. Steer clear of clichés. Don't say "sink into this couch." Though that brown couch might be sink-in-able, the feature is implied. Less is often more. (In copywriting. In life.)

3. Tell a story. A "story" in a six-sentence Facebook ad means you invite the reader to imagine how cozy they'll be, snuggled up with their bestie or a blanket.

4. Use familiar pronouns. Not A bestie: YOUR bestie.

5. Invoke emotions. Sad to see these go reminds people of their cozy comfort; these won't last conveys urgency.

To be honest, I struggled with whether to include the these won't last line... is that selling too hard...? I brought it before the equivalent of the Copywriting Supreme Court in my head.

Verdict: It stays. It conveys the right tone.

6. Not free. "FREE" was a turnoff in the first ad, because FREE signals NO ONE WANTS YOU, dumpy poop-emoji couches!

When I put a not-crazy price on these two, I actually got more inquires—not fewer. Why? The perceived value was higher. Humans are weird.

7. You are not your customer. I admit it: I don't like brown. Look through someone else's eyeballs: Maybe our poop-emoji brown is their pumpkin spice caramel macchiato.

8. A little humor goes a long way. This ad is NOT overly clever, and I'll be the first to admit it. I actually thought of a million other ways to write this ad:

> the personal ad approach ("Two dignified older gentlemen seek a welcoming home...")
> a Starbucks order "Belly up to the counter: Two pumpkin spice caramel macchiatos could be coming your way!"
> the plaintive appeal for a new home written in the first-person by "Brownie the Couch" (Literally LOLing at this one)

But we're here to sell couches, not win copywriting awards for cleverness. So I used a little humor in the headline to catch attention. But not so much that the audience would suspect they're the butt of some joke.

So... what happened?

INQUIRIES: 8
ROI: A text from my son yesterday morning as he watched the poop-emoji couches being driven away in the back of a flatbed trust: "OMG Mom. I can't believe someone paid $100 for those couches."

* Thanks to Andrew & Pete for the inspiration.

* * *

Here are a few things worth sharing this fortnight.

1. How do you know if your idea is a good idea?

Writing in MarketingProfs, content strategist Amber Dawson dives into Chip and Dan Heath's Made to Stick. Your good idea should be...

Unexpected: Does it feel like you've already seen this idea? Yes? Ditch it.
Concrete: Are you confident with explaining it simply?
Credible: Is your idea believable?

And it should have...

Emotion: Does your idea evoke sadness, joy, curiosity, anger?
Story: Can you frame your idea around a story?

That's ^^ the framework I use to create a new speech, by the way.

Understand more about identifying, feeding, and selling your good idea in The Ultimate Guide to Coming Up With Useful Ideas.

Go deeper 👉👉👉 Often, the best marketing ideas are first proposed as a joke. That's because great marketing requires fearlessness. Like this... the World's Best Marketing Call to Action!

2. The Elephant in the Zoom

Webinars have gone through a growth spurt in the past few months: shooting up 5 years in just 5 quarantined months. So the question for brands and marketers is: How can we help our webinars out of their awkward teen years?

WebinarDay 2020 is a good place to start. It's a glorious 9-hour festival of all things webinar, produced by my friends at video marketing platform TwentyThree. It's like Coachella. But for webinars.

I kicked off the event with a fireside chat with host Brian Fanzo; sessions throughout the day included driving revenue with webinars, producing your webinar like a TV show, on-camera performance tips, writing scripts, and more.

You can catch the whole program on-demand. Tickets are usually $69/$91. Here's a sweet, sweet deal for ya... Code FriendsOfAnn gets you in for zero dollars. Zilch. None. For FREE. Reg link.

P.S. I was Last-Wednesday-Years-Old when I learned that "webinar" is a portmanteau of "web" and "seminar." I'm a word person... somehow this never occurred to me? Maybe it never did to you, either? Maybe it won't help your webinar program, but don't you feel more complete just knowing? Knowledge is power, grasshopper.

TOOLS

One content tool I loved this week.

🔨 How to Write (Almost) Anything. A Memorable Protest Sign, A Cover Letter That Will Win You the Job, or a Perfect Sentence, an Email That Gets Action. A useful collection of writing advice to bookmark. (with thanks to Scott Monty)

DEPARTMENT OF SHENANIGANS

Shrift.

Lurch.

Roughshod.

... and 9 more creaky old words with zero relevance to modern life that should have died, but instead survive only because we use them every day in common phrases and idioms. The more you know!

LOVE LETTERS
Shouts from around the Internet.

💌 To Kathleen Booth for being a great conversationalist in our Impact podcast about content, events, newsletters.

💌 To Jason Miller at Active Campaign for this funny creep on my bookshelf.

💌 To Migs Bassig at ReviewTrackers for including me in this roundup on customer experience.

💌 To Thierry Spencer for the realization that my quotes sound better in French.

💌 To Eyal Katz at Oktopost for naming me as one of 10 top B2B influencers.

* * *

Thanks for reading this far. Thanks for your kindness and generosity.

Stay safe. Stay sane. Wear a mask.

I'll be back on September 27.

P.S. If you like this newsletter and want to support it, buy a book. Or forward this newsletter to a friend with an invitation to subscribe right here: www.annhandley.com/newsletter.

SELECT PUBLIC EVENTS

📅 On-demand until Sept. 27! Social Pulse Summit: LinkedIn Edition

📅 TOMORROW! September 14-18: Litmus Live [online]

📅 THIS WEEK! September 15-18: UBA Trends Day, Brussels, Belgium [online]

📅 October 6 + 13: Meltwater Social Media Festival [online]

📅 October 13-15: Content Marketing World [online]

📅 October 20: OptIn Live 2020 [online]

📅 November 4 & 5: MarketingProfs B2B Forum. The worst part about going to an event is getting back to the office; all the good vibes + inspiration fade away with the day-to-day grind. We've solved that by combining our PRO community + the B2B Forum into one year-long community + resource. The details.

📅 November 12: SharpSpring Agency Accelerator Series [at LinkedIn]

📅 November 30-December 2: Digital Sales and Marketing World [online]

📅 Your Date Here: Book me to speak

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